Friday, December 21, 2007

The Weak Ender

Dude, Terrell Owens was totally kidding. How do you people not get that? Owens has always been a practical joker. Like the time he called Jeff Garcia gay. That was a riot. Like the guy who obsessively works out and is never seen with chicks would call out a guy who is married to a former Playmate of the Year. That was totally a joke.

Or how about the time Owens said that his suicide attempt was actually just him taking too many supplements. Hilarious.

That Owens is such a kidder.

ROMO NEEDS WINS, NOT CHICKS
The Cowboys had better take Saturday night’s game seriously at Carolina and really pound the Panthers. There are already whispers that the club is in its second consecutive December swoon. Distractions from starlets aside, you have to really question Tony Romo’s makeup, and wonder if this is a guy that can lead the Cowboys deep into the playoffs.

But remember, Troy Aikman had a lot of questions about him, too. Hell, Jimmy Johnson was seemingly never convinced seeing that he drafted Steve Walsh and started Steve Beuerlein in a playoff game at Detroit in 1991. Aikman didn’t really have a defining moment of his career until he led the Cowboys to a comeback with three touchdown passes at Denver in 1992. The Cowboys had a tough loss to Washington the next week (Aikman did play well), but the Cowboys came back and pounded the Falcons and Bears before steamrolling through the playoffs. That game against Denver was the point where Aikman turned from a guy with a lot of potential, to a guy who could lead a team.

Romo doesn’t really have that defining moment. Well, other than fumbling a snap in the playoffs or falling on his face in front of his girl friend counts.

  • Good luck to all of you who have T.O. on your fantasy squad. Do you think Romo is going to look for him now? Notice that Romo always looks for the blonde-headed Jason Witten first? Dude has a serious fetish.
  • Notice how the Cowboys have started to stumble, while the Chargers seem to just be regaining its stride? Norv is now the genius, while Wade Phillips is once again that playoff loser. But the truth is, both will probably be watching the Super Bowl at home this year.
  • Hey Willie Parker, Jack Youngblood played in the Super Bowl with a broke leg. Why don't you butch up a little bit and shake it off. (Seriously, don't send the email, I know.)
  • Still no word on the Georgia Frontandrearie death watch. But she is clearly circling the drain, seeing that there are no reports at all. The announcers on Thursday’s St. Louis FC vs. Steelers game will likely give glowing tributes to Georgia. Luckily, nobody will hear it because the game is on NFL Network.
  • The Giants will play at Buffalo this week, and leave it to the Giants to try to take ownership of the Kevin Everett story. The Jints picked up Domenik Hixon to be able to make Everett’s amazing comeback story all about them. (Hixon was the player Everett hit.) The Giants have done some douchey things in their history, but this might be the most disgusting.
  • While everybody got worked up by Bobby Petrino’s departure from the Falcons, nobody seems upset that Bill Parcells played Artie Blank like a fool – leveraging the Falcons gig for more money from the Dolphins. Pity poor Blank, who just can’t seem to catch a break. But this is fitting for Blank, as if it is payback for the millions of people who have gotten lost in Home Depot looking for a damn screw. Sorry, if you aren’t going to feel sorry for the numerous local merchants Home Depot has put out of work, then you shouldn’t have some sympathy for Blank. In fact, he probably hasn’t suffered enough.


AND FINALLY
There seems to be an awful lot of complaining about the endless amount of bowls. And if there is one thing The Hater Nation hates, it is people complaining.

What is wrong with having thirty two bowl games and 64 teams extending its season?

Take Navy, for instance. The graduation seniors are going into the service, so giving them one last chance to hang out in San Diego and play in one more game isn’t very meaningless to them. And really, half of the NFL schedule would be whipped out if you eliminated meaningless games. Watching Navy some bowl game is a lot more entertaining than watching Raven or the 49ers.

If you don’t want to see any of the bowl games, just pretend its on NFL Network and you won’t have to worry about it.

11 comments:

flohtingPoint said...

Totally agree about the college bowl game thing. Most of the seniors on these teams will never suit up and play a real game of football again, so if their team did halfway decent, why not give them a decent stage to go out on.

I know for a fact that come the Holiday Bowl, I'll be whole heartedly cheering for Arizona State's Rudy Burgess, who will not be drafted or sniff an NFL contract, but has been vital to Sun Devil Football for four long years.

Shane Rollins said...

Yeah but I'm pretty sure Jack Youngblood was a half-god like Hercules.

DAWUSS said...

Does God hate the Rams?


Also, are we firing that cannon this week or next week?

Eugene Robinson said...

it is payback for the millions of people who have gotten lost in Home Depot looking for a damn screw.

You can get a screw at Home Depot? If I had known that when I was in Miami for Super Bowl XXXIII, I would have saved myself a lot of hassle.

Diane said...

Maybe I was drunk, but I swear I was at a Rams game where both the kicker and punter were injured, so Jack Youngblood took on punting duties too . . . try to name a player today who would do the same

DAWUSS said...

Wes Welker's done kickoffs before IIRC.

Gaylord said...

Word on the street is Carolina are all going to be wearing Jessica Simpson masks to freak out Romo, hopefully he'll lay another egg

NFL Adam said...

Carolina rolling out Jessica Simpson masks ... that's awesome.

Anonymous said...

If the Cowboys make it to the NFC Championship Game, Jess better be singing the National Anthem. Just so we can hear all the Cowboys fans boo her off the field

Anonymous said...

Not sure you will be able to hear many Cowpukes fans in Green Bay.

The Big Picture said...

way to make fun of my Niners, Adam. How are those LA teams doing?