Friday, December 07, 2007

The Weak Ender

This Patriots cheerleader looks cute (for a New England chick). The sun is shining and everything looks great. But, as it happens in New England, the weather turns cold and the chicks get bundled up like this during those late season games.

And in those games, throwing the football is tough. Nearly impossible. Meaning that the team that can run the ball effectively will end up winning in the playoffs when the weather turns nasty.

The Patriots are not one of those teams. Seems silly that a genius like Bill Belichick would build a team based around the passing game in an outdoor stadium like New England, when it won’t be nearly as effective.

Maybe the Patriots have not be running up the score to prove a point after Patriotsgate, but rather, to intimidate opponents and get people to believe that they are invincible. Possibly leading teams to give up before the playoffs even start. Nice try, Belichick, but the secret is out. Just like Randy Quaid crashed his plane into the alien ship in Independence Day, the secret is out on the Patriots. This team can’t run and won’t be nearly as effective as the weather turns cold.

Hopefully the Patriots can go undefeated in the regular season, because there is no way they will win the AFC. Actually, the only way they could win the AFC would be for the Colts to get home-field advantage so they can play the AFC Championship Game indoors.

  • Where is the Coors Light commercial where Bill Parcells compares somebody stealing your beer as a "Jap play?"
  • Congratulations on your win Washington, it was only a week too late. BTW, why did the league allow the Bears to wear the No. 21 patch for an extra week, when they wanted to fine Jake Plummer for wearing Pat Tillman’s No. 40? Probably for show for an NFL Network game, but those No. 21 helmets had better not be around on Sunday.
  • How come the sensitive police haven't tried to halt the release of Walk Hard, considering that the lead character slices his brother in half after playing "machete fight." Have some respect, Hollywood. That's just too soon.
  • Norv Turner again has been nominated as the NFL Coach of the Week, and luckily nobody is buying it. But if the Chargers want to prove something, they will win a game that they have no business winning, like this week at Tennessee. Don’t count on it, though.
  • The Birds battle the, uh, Birds for the NFC West. The Seahawks could actually win the division with a win over the Cardinals. Does anybody else get the feeling that Seattle is worse off with Shaun Alexander back?
  • The Bengals and St. Louis Football team entered 1999 as the losingest teams of the decade. After a few years at (St. Louis) or near (Cincinnati) the top, both teams blow again. The world just seems right that way.
  • God love Jon Kitna for having the chutzpa to call out the Cowboys before a big game. He realizes he plays for the Lions right? And Mike Martz is his coordinator? You never know, he’s be blitzed so often this year, he might think he’s in NFL Europe again.
  • Raiders fans with spikes coming out of cheeseheads will invade Green Bay this weekend. That poor Wisconsin town did nothing to deserve that. This is a big game for the Packers, meaning Brett Favre is looking to sacrifice another one of his relatives. Be careful opening those Christmas cards, Favre family. You don't know what Brett might have done of them.
  • The Dolphins are at Buffalo. There was a time these two teams were fighting to see who could lose in the Super Bowl.
  • Jeff Garcia has a playmate wife, just how anxious is he to get back on the field? Seriously, he's probably like, "Yeah, I'm good. The last guy you had out there lost his spleen. I'm just going to kick over here in the corner."
  • The Panthers and Jaguars meet this week, trying to prove once and for all who is the biggest underachiever.
  • The Eagles are going to put it together one week, and it seems that playing against Eli Messiah is the perfect opportunity. Yes, the Messiah did lead a rally against the Bears, but is anybody buying this? Do it against a varsity squad. Actually, how funny would it be for Tom Coughlin to just do enough to make it into the playoffs and save his job again?
  • Vikings running back Adrian Peterson and 49ers linebacker Patrick Willis are the likely NFL Rookies of the Year. But is that matchup worth it to actually watch that game?
  • The Broncos have received plenty of love for churning out running backs the way K-Fed pops out kids, but the Chiefs have done pretty well as Kolby Smith looks like a legitimate running back. Imagine if the Chiefs had a competent offensive line.
  • The Browns felt jobbed last week and have worked this week on actually landing inbounds. They probably won’t have to worry about that against the Jets.
  • Somebody call Cliff Clavin and Newman because Raven is getting ready for the biggest mail-in job of all time. Even bigger than this post.
  • If you need anymore evidence that the NFL is still pissed about Playmakers, the Saints battle the Falcons this week on Monday Night Football.


AND FINALLY
The Angels did not get Miguel Cabrera and that might be a good thing. Trading Howie Kendrick should have been an automatic deal-killer. Especially for a enigmatic third baseman with a weight problem, who would have led many Angels fans to believe that Bartolo Colon had moved to third base.

Quick prediction. The Marlins will win a World Series before the Tigers. They have too much talent down there. Joe Girardi will be kicking himself before too long.

Have a great Pearl Harbor Day, everybody. Go to a sushi joint tonight and run out on the bill.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...


Have a great Pearl Harbor Day, everybody. Go to a sushi joint tonight and run out on the bill.


That is fuckin' hilarious.

Grammar Nazi said...

This is a big game for the Packers, meaning Brett Favre is looking for another sacrifice another one of his relatives. Be careful opening those Christmas cards, Favre family. You don't know what Brett might have done of them.

This is upsetting

Oliver Tomlinson said...

At least after Brett's father died, he didn't suck afterward!

Chris said...

if Pittsburgh doesn't beat the pats, here's what happens:

Final game - Pats are killing the GMen, and Brady gets his leg broken, has to miss the entire playoffs. Pats lose in their first game.

its called football karma, man.

flohtingPoint said...

Just like Randy Quaid crashed his plane into the alien ship in Independence Day, the secret is out on the Patriots. This team can’t run and won’t be nearly as effective as the weather turns cold.

lol... Why do I have this picture of Mike Tomlin wearing goggles and screaming "UP YOUURRRRSSS!!!!!"

The Big Picture said...

people here in seattle want to flush alexander down the toilet. how quickly he can go from hero to zero. guess that's what happens when you half-ass things on the field.

DNice said...

Classic line about Favre. Bravo! (And I realize that sounds gay but I have a problem with the word kudos.)

David Gest said...

Classic line about Favre. Bravo! (And I realize that sounds gay...

Not as gay as a nick like "DNice", but I'd still slap it around!

Fletch said...

The Browns felt jobbed last week and have worked this week on actually landing inbounds. They probably won’t have to worry about that against the Jets.

Better to have the Browns have a replay regarding someone landing inbounds. Were it the Jets, we might be forced to watch that douche from the Samsung commercial celebrate with his "happy dance."

NFL Adam said...

The Jets happy dance -- I wish I would have thought of that.

Tomlin should wear some flight glasses to make this point. That would be fun to six of us, but it would be awesome.

And I'm holding Chris to that prediction.

Bain said...

Jets guy dances like Feltch at a Lifehouse concert.

Fletch said...

Lifehouse sucks, dood. Marcy Playground all the way.

Diane said...

Adam - can you use your connections to get that Krause kid off the ESPN NFL pre-game show? Thanks in advance for your efforts to improve all our lives. Diane

NFL Adam said...

Sorry D, if I had that much pull, I would try to get Bryant Gumble off the NFL Network telecast.