Friday, November 16, 2007

The Weak Ender

The Brodie Croyle era has started in Kansas City. Or more importantly, the Kelli Croyle era has started, pushing the young signal caller into the forefront of the hot wife category of the NFL. Many of you might remember Kelli if you watched any of HBO's Hard Knocks. Now you can see why Herm Edwards was so hot to give Croyle the starting job this summer. The Chiefs aren't going to win many games, but this will give people a reason to watch the games now because they are horrible.

The Dolphins are also going to start rookie John Beck, looking to give the 1976 Buccaneers a real run for their money. That's fitting seeing that the 1972 Dolphins are on the verge of losing their spot in history. Maybe Don Shula can join with Cleo Lemon, Trent Green and Jason Taylor each year to open a bottle of champagne when the last winless team finally crosses over. Or maybe, with Ricky Williams now in the fold, they can take bong rips each year to commemorate the event.

WHO IS THE BAD GUY HERE?
Lakers coach Phil Jackson caught a lot of heat this week when he said that "“We call this a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ game, because there’s so much penetration and kickouts.” The opposite, of course, would be a Cinemax game where you can't see any penetration. But people got upset over the joke and Jackson had to apologize for it and generally seemed sorry.

That was the wrong move.

Jackson should not have apologized and instead should have taken a large sum to speak at Tony Dungy's church. Then he could have written a book about it and made millions.

  • The Chargers will play at Jacksonville this week, in what should be a playoff preview. San Diego will end up winning the AFC West -- almost by default -- and will end up hosting a team like Jacksonville who will come to town and beat the Chargers by 40 points. If Jags coach Jack Del Rio is smart, he'll play this thing like a preseason game and keep his play book vanilla to not tip their hands to the Chargers. But that would assume that Norv and Co. would actually be able to use that knowledge. The Jaguars could hand over a copy of their playbook to the Chargers and Norv would still be on the sidelines with that bewildered look on his face.
  • Browns quarterback Derek Anderson will likely pass for 500 yards against his former team, the Baltimore Ravens, this week. Yep, Brian Billick is some offensive genius, letting Anderson go but hanging on to Kyle Boller.
  • You just can't get rid of Rex Grossman. The NFL just seems like a better place with him at quarterback.
  • The 49ers play the St. Louis Football Team in one of the most important games of the season. The 49ers could very well end up with the first pick in the draft. Only, the Patriots own that pick. So New England could go 16-0 and end up with the first pick. But no matter where that pick lands, the Patriots will likely trade down and pick up two potential Pro Bowl players, while some struggling franchise squanders it on some quarterback who will struggle for the next four years.


THANKS ARIZONA
Add the Wilcats, along with UCLA, as one of those useless Pac-10 teams that serve no purpose other than to ruin somebody else's season. Funny, when Tedy Bruschi was on the line during last night's game, how come Chris Fowler didn't ask him what it was like being on one of the most underachieving teams in Pac-10 history? Or what it's like to be the only school in the Pac-10 to never reach the Rose Bowl? Thanks jerks. Actually, Desert Storm was one of the most overrated teams in college football history. The truth is that the University of Arizona is nothing more than BYU in the sand. Have you ever wondered why there are so many blondes at that school?

But that game was over the moment Dennis Dixon went down. You could feel the energy leave the Ducks sideline, even sitting in your own living room. These Ducks players might be too young to remember the failure of Ryan Leaf, but they know that his brother sucks. The Ducks were moving up and down the field at will and would have likely won that game by 40 points. That's football, however, and that means that no Pac-10 team will be in the BCS title game, short of a miracle.

AND FINALLY
For those of you who hate baseball, thank you for stopping by, we'll see you on Sunday night for the Post Mortem.

Alex Rodriguez has to tuck tail and walk back to the Yankees. Watch, Scott Boras will likely chide owners with talk of collusion. (And now is not the time to gloat that THN correctly predicted that A-Rod would be playing for New York again.)

But the reality is, A-Rod was just too expensive. A-Rod would have been a lot of fun to have in an Angels uniform. While it's fun to point out his playoff failures (which are way overstated), it is kind of a bummer. If, for nothing else, what it would have done for Vlade's career. Or even Garret Anderson who would have gotten a bit of a rub.

Now the Angels having only two courses of action. The first will be to overreact and send Howie Kendrick, Mike Napoli, Brandon Wood and a pitching prospect for Miguel Cabrera. Or the other -- and more likely -- is that they will do nothing. And much like the Chargers, they will chart a course for winning the division and then get embarrassed in the playoffs. Again.

11 comments:

DAWUSS said...

I wonder what Jim Sorgi's wife looks like...


But regardless, Chiefs win.


BTW, which way do we go for the Michigan - Ohio State game? Do we take the points?

Kordell said...

Jim Sorgi's mom? Babe-A-Licious.

gaylord said...

guess you got all your eli messiah ripping out of the way in last week's post mortem, but don't worry he'll shred the Lions "defense" for at least 4 TD's

BostonSucksMyBlog said...

hmmm, ms croyle certainly isnt as handsome as kurt warners wife...

WCT said...

I'm just glad that Arizona put an end to the whining of the west coast homers for another season. See you in '08 Pac-10!

Amaysing1 said...

Croyle's wife? Let's not forget Tony Gonzales and his hot wife. They could have shown those two wives the entire series of Hard Knocks and I would have bought the DVD.

...ok, I am lying...but I would have downloaded it off the Internet

Anonymous said...

Kelli Croyle is getting love everywhere...she ended up the honorary hottie at nicelittlesundays.blogspot.com this week!

Jeff Garcia said...

We do love our hotties!

buckyor said...

Lana Sorgi looks like a Wisconsin girl:

http://www.flyergroup.com/local/images_sizedimage_113085524/resources_photoview

Richard Simmons said...

It's raining hotties!

Anonymous said...

Fuck you ass wipe!!! Your just pissed cuz Arizona ended Oregons season thats why im happy. FYI you dumbshit when a teams season ends early due to suckage you want to atleast salvage some pride by beating ranked teams every year and in this case Oregon who was #2. You need to learn to write stories cuz ur just a washed up writer fucking loser!