Friday, November 02, 2007

The Weak Ender

Thank you to Martina Hingis and the photog who snapped crotch shots of Maria Sharipova for providing those of us sick of Patriots/Colts coverage, and oppotunity to focus on something else. Until Bill Belichick defended the photographer, reasoning that everybody is trying to take snatc... err ..., snap hots of Sharipova.

Hoodie has a point there.

It was tempting to try to be the only NFL site to not devote much of its space to the Patriots vs. Colts game, but then, did you see the rest of the schedule? Would you like to see an 800 word essay on Panthers starting quarterback David Carr? No, as much as this game has been over-hyped, you can't ignore it.

Even the Bay Area is going to watch this game because the Raiders did not sell out their home game against the Houston Texans. (Hahaha Houston, you will be stuck with watching that game.) But that's telling when Pharaoraider, Gladiraider, and the rest of Hell's Satans would rather watch a regular season game instead of watching the Raiders lose again.

So indulge us one thought on the Patriots and Colts, and that is this; You really want to pull for the Colts in this game. Even so much than looking past Gomer's numerous commercials. But then there's Tony Dungy. Who had to compare the Patriots to Barry Bonds.

"You kind of feel like there is a code of honor, a code of ethics in the league," he said at the time. "You want to win and you want to do things the right way."

Dungy also compared the Pats to Barry Bonds, where he said the slugger's accomplishments were tainted and implied that perhaps the Pats' were as well.
Yesterday, as his team prepared to host the Patriots in Sunday's battle of the NFL's unbeatens, Dungy stood by those remarks.

"To me, that's what it is," he said. "That was my opinion at the time and that's what I believe. I don't think it takes away from anything they've done. It's just disappointing that it wasn't a good situation for the league or any of the players in the NFL."
Ethics. That's a good one, Tony. Or maybe this was just another opportunity for you to jump on your soapbox and look down his nose on the rest of the league with his moral indignation.

So if you are looking for an angle this week, look at it this way. If the Patriots win, then Gomer Manning and Dungy go back to holding that loser label that strangled them for years. If the Colts win, then Belichick will have to know that God really hates him and his running up the score.

And if you want to read a great interview with Tony Dungy, part one and part two.

  • Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen is having a great season, going so far as to say that the mullet has turned his season around. Allen is the kind of guy that you really want to pull for. Until you hear that the only reason he really believes he is playing better is because he quit drinking. Talk about your bad role models. Now where are coach’s sons supposed to get their inspiration from? This is especially in bad taste coming so soon after the passing of Max McGee. Way to soon to start being sober. What a slap in the face.
  • Eagles coach Andy Reid is rumored to be mulling his resignation from the Eagles, to join his son's drug-dealing ring. Do you think Hingis is one of their customers?
  • The judge in the Garrett Reid case said that the coaches house was a drug emporium. So you mean that Andy Reid lives in a Walgreens?
  • How do the Jaguars keep finding 6-foot-5 black quarterbacks, well over their listed weight of 250 who can’t run a lick? You can have your prototypical quarterback, but this is just pushing it. Kind of like how the Cowboys scout quarterbacks based on who can bend the needle on the gaydar.

College football has it’s own game of the century this week – Arizona State vs. Oregon. The Ducks are in the final game of their gauntlet (unless you want to count UCLA, but we don’t) and they are going to be in a position of win and wait. If they win, that is. Dennis Dixon has played great this season. And like Brett Favre in Green Bay, his magic kind of overshadows what the rest of the team is doing. But don’t be fooled, Oregon has some of the best talent in the country.

ASU quarterback Rudy Carpenter is going to need to play nearly flawless to win this game. If forced to pick a winner in this game, it has to be the Ducks. They just can’t lose two games at home this season with this team. And if they do, hopefully the run the table.

  • The key for Arizona State: Don’t fall behind.
  • USC is going to drift through the rest of the season, maybe losing one more game (ASU). But this is still a very talented team. The Trojans are going to end up going to the Las Vegas Bowl or something, play an overmatched foe – like New Mexico – and win by 70. Not quite what they expected when they started the season, but something for the gamblers to look forward to.
  • How is everybody enjoying the Chuck Long era at San Diego State? Why is it hard to recruit kids to San Diego?
  • Why does everybody hate Nick Saban so much? He left Michigan State to go to LSU, won a BCS game, and then he cashed in and went to the NFL once he realized what a (expletive) hole Baton Rouge can be. So what does it matter that he came back to the college game to coach Alabama? And the next person who complains that he lied about taking the Alabama job needs to get hit in the temple with a tack hammer. Of course, Saban lied, he was negotiating in order to get more money. That’s not lying, that’s being smart.

Joe Torre to the Dodgers. Good luck with all of that.


Anonymous said...

Can we bring up the USC-SEC bitching? Please?

We all know USC would be a 2-win team if they played in the SEC

Peanut Gallery said...

Revisiting the Eagles Buzzkill, I don't know if Norv Turner has any sons.

He does have daughters, and one of them was in Monster-in-Law as the teeny pop star with stars on her titties that gets a beatdown from Jane Fonda.

Jeff Garcia said...

I would bang Martina into next week.

Kordell said...

It's "Maria" you fag.

Steve Young said...

He could have been talking about Martina Hingis, dillweed. Either way, I'd knock the bottom out of either one.

Terrell Owens said...

Get your popcorn ready

Tom Cruise said...

Knowing Jeff, he probably meant Martina Navratilova!

Carl Lewis said...

Come on, guys. I think we can all agree that, whether her name is Martina or Maria, if she is a hottie, we are all over that!

Pedant said...

That's not the real Terrell. He spelled "getcha" wrong.

farley said...

Enough about this unimportant stuff, why didn't you report on Kris Benson getting canned from the Orioles???

How long until his wife goes back to the pole to support the family??

Sun Devil said...

Getcha popcorn ready.

And THN agreeing that UO is the better bet is the best stroke of luck ASU could get. Thanks, Adam. Look for me in the stands outdrinking the Ducks and being generally awesome. I will spit on George Horton if I see him.

NFL Adam said...

I try, SD, I try. This actually works out perfectly for you, have fun. I'm pulling for the Devils.

BTW, if USC was in the SEC, they would be undefeated right now. Just saying.

Mark D said...

I can't believe you didn't put Alyssa Milano on the weekender. Did you see her on My Name Is Earl last week? Oh beggy. If you were going to put a hot tennis player, it would've been more timely to put the Swiss Miss up. You're better than that Rank.

WCT said...

Nice analysis of Nick Saban. I wasn't sure if you were aware that college football existed east of Nevada before that.

Oh, and when are you going to give up this man-crush with USC?? They're done. They would have two losses in the Big East for crying out loud

NFL Adam said...

I remember Saban when he coached at Michigan State, and screwed them over to go to LSU. Only the Spartans -- that I see -- bellyache about it.

Anonymous said...

I finally got a chance to see Oregon play this week (thanks ESPN). They are the best team.