Monday, November 26, 2007

Ricky Williams

Greetings, it's your old pal McLean Stevenson here, the king of career choices. Being the king allows me to make fun of other people who are making bigger mistakes than I ever did. This is the part where I would link back to my own personal blog, but I don't update it because I have a life. Just kidding. It's because I'm dead, people. How do you still now get this?

But anyway, I was kicking around the old Match Game set here in Heaven, when I ran into Kevin DuBrow (hair still looks great) in the commissary. Damn that guy can still belt out “Bang Your Head.” All the meth heads who died in the 1980s on the Sunset Strip, including River Phoenix, have been hounding this guy all day. Like he just got here, leave him alone. But anyway, Kevin told me that Ricky Williams was making a comeback today on Monday Night Football.

I tuned in during the second quarter and the Williams' comeback was already over. Even Priest Holmes thought that was fast. Was Ricky concerned that there were a few people left on the planet Earth who didn’t think of him as a burnout with no heart? Because he has them all convinced now. He can’t be making enough money to justify this. Ricky should tried out for the Surreal Life because at least they don’t hurt people there. Unless, of course, he was asked to shack up with Danny Bonaduce or something.

Bad move, thumbs down.


Chris said...

Bonaduce would slam Ricky faster than Ricky takes a gravity-bong hit to the dome.

I gotta get some dap for the gravity-bong reference!

Anonymous said...

His season is already over.

Don Shula said...

I might as well strip down and climb into the canon.