Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Post Mortem



The Chargers are not a good football team. Or more to the point, Norv Turner is not a good football coach. A convincing victory by the Chargers might be counter productive, giving a glimmer of hope to those remaining holdouts on Wake Island or elsewhere, who still believed that the Chargers were still in the war.

At the same time, only deranged Celtics fans hoping for Greg Oden or Kevin Durant would root for their team to lose. Luckily, Chargers fans didn’t have to make that choice. The Chargers delivered the best of both worlds on Sunday night -- delivering a win (for lack of a better term) that was just as embarrassing as a loss. A win that showed everybody from John Madden to Dean Spanos to a flexing Hulk Hogan in a luxury booth that a change needs to be made.

At the same time, Gomer Manning was still forced to walk off Jack Murphy Field with that morose look on his face, wondering what the hell went wrong in this six-interception game.

Six interceptions.

That is a record that Eli Messiah himself won’t even be able to break. Nobody is misguided enough to believe that the Chargers are going to make a run at the playoffs. And by all rights, the Chargers should have lost this game. They deserved to lose this game. Still, when all is said and done, the Chargers got the best of Gomer and Tony One-and-Done-gy. At this point, you’ll just take the victory.
  • The Chargers likely go 2-5 down the stretch, meaning they finish 7-9. That should be enough to win the AFC West.
  • Which interception do you suppose was the one that finally drove Jim Sorgi’s mom to throw her tumbler of vodka tonic at the television and scream, “What the (expletive) Gomer. You are killing this (expletive) team. If I have to see you make that stupid horse face one more time, I’m going to shove a football straight up you bum!” Weird that Jim Sorgi's mom would cuss so much, then use the phrase, "bum," huh?
  • At some point, Shawne Merriman needs to pull a “Lattimer” from The Program and just figure out a way to get around the test.
  • How does Turner’s incompetence stretch to his challenge calls? Do the Chargers just not have televisions upstairs because those two calls were the most lopsided challenges in NFL history? Even Mike Martz wouldn’t have made those calls. Ed Hocuhli Jr. probably took some extra time in the booth just so he didn’t show-up Norv on a national game. Anybody else notice that referee Gene Steratore was doing his best Eddie Guns impersonation by going sans jacket in the rainy San Diego night? Expect to see Eddie G in a wife beater next week.
  • And God bless those Chargers Girls for gutting out the game, too, without jackets.
  • Al Michaels said, “I have been laughing at the San Diego Chicken for years.” That’s because you are an idiot, Al.
  • Enjoy your victory Cowboys fans. Barry Switzer started 8-1 in his first year, too.
  • Good to see Eli and the Giants are finally returning to reality. And sure enough, Plaxico is intent on killing two of my fantasy teams. Thanks, jerk. The problem is that Plaxico actually showed up to practice on Wednesday. Catching balls from Eli for long periods of time will make anybody worse. Just ask Cooper Manning.
  • Who the hell is Patrick Crayton? The Cowboys receiver said that the Boys are on a different level than the Giants, which nearly caused Jints running back Brandon Jacobs to go mental. “That is not a fair assessment. I think the Cowboys are a great team. But it's unfair for him to come out and say that because he sucks, first of all." Hearing an NFL player talk about another player the way we would discuss our fantasy team is always entertaining. But Jacobs and the Giants might want to win a game before getting too upset. Oh and Brandon, your quarterback sucks.
  • Giants and Lions next week. Get ready for that matchup, Los Angeles. Hey, the Lions era was cute. That impending schedule includes the Giants, Vikings, Packers, and Cowboys. Two wins are possible, but one is more likely.
  • Three touchdowns for the Kurt Warner Machine, who seemed kind of shaky after that first interception. Ken Whisenhunt made a wise move playing Tim Rattay near the end zone, because Warner cannot hand off with his left hand. Rattay also has a little bit more mobility that will prevent teams from just bull-rushing the middle of the field against Warner.
  • Anybody else see the commercial where the Seahawks offensive line is transformed into a bunch of little kids? Well, they could probably beat the Raiders.
  • Jay Cutler looks like he wandered in from the Beatles tribute show. And did you see the camera continually zooming in on the injured John Lynch? Yeah, because he’s such a key player. Remember that one time he made that clutch play to lead his team to victory? Me neither.
  • Nice game, Bengals. Seven field goals? They should be showing the highlights on FOX Soccer Channel. How do you have a team with Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson, T.J. Housmytugfsda, et al, not at least get into the end zone once? Congratulations to Raven for being the biggest quitters in the NFL. Seems like they haven't recovered from that playoff loss to the Colts last year.
  • If you write this: Things don't always seem as they appear. For instance, the Panthers hosting the Falcons seems like a lock right? Well consider that the Panthers have lost all three of its home games this season … make sure you take the Falcons in your picks pool.


THANK YOU OHIO STATE
The Ohio State needs to be commended for doing the right thing on Saturday and losing, ensuring that they won’t muck up the BCS Championship Game for a second consecutive year. Now if Kansas would only have the same decency to do the same. Actually, the Big XII could do the rest of college football a favor by doing a little round-robin and knocking each other off. Nobody wants to see Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Ohio State, Michigan, et al, in the title game. Put in Oregon and LSU and let them fight it out. Nothing would be sweeter than to see Loss Miles and the Tigers run off the field in New Orleans.

  • Credit to UCLA for also doing the right thing and losing on Saturday to Arizona State. Say what you want about USC, but the Devils and Trojans could be battling for the Rose Bowl if nothing screwy happens to Oregon.
  • San Diego State is inching closer to being bowl eligible, following a great victory over UNLV on Saturday night.
  • Nice game Nebraska. You sure proved to the world that you are still relevant in college football.


AND FINALLY
Can’t wait to hear all of the Gomer apologists talk about the injuries to Marvin Harrison and Dallas Clark as the reason for his trouble early against San Diego. But that’s not fair. Even with Reggie Wayne, Gomer still has a better receiving corps than the units that Tom Brady won three Super Bowls with previously. This should end all speculation who is the better quarterback between Brady and Gomer.

17 comments:

Jim Mora said...

In my opinion that sucked.

Norv Turner said...

Can you just admit I'm a pretty good head coach?

BostonSucksMyBlog said...

didnt dallas win the SB in Switzers 1st yr? I hope they do it again this year. It would be funny to see Eagles fans collectively overreact and act like their lives are over if TO and the hated Cowboys won a SB before the Eagles...plus the Pats wouldnt win, so thats a bonus.

Chris said...

You don't want to make Brandon Jacobs mad. That is one big dude.

Boner said...

Patrick Crayton does suck, he's just a by-product of TO and Romo. I just wish it was somebody else other than Brandeen Jacobs calling him out, for the sake of legitimacy

What the hell was that huge red welt on Gomer's face at the end of the game?

NFL Adam said...

Dallas lost in the NFC Championship Game in Switzer's rookie year. But anybody other than the Pats or Colts would be decent. Maybe not Pittsburgh, either. But somebody. How about the Cardinals?

Gomer's welt comes from wearing a helmet that is too small for his head. Look at that thing.

Bain said...

But anybody other than the Pats or Colts would be decent.

No, it wouldn't. Don't fool yourselves, Plowboy Nation, just because the rest of the...

No, fuck it. I'm saving this one for my place.

NFL Adam said...

Who then, can we get behind?

CB said...

Libyan terrorists in an exploding blimp.

Anonymous said...

"Who then, can we get behind?"

One of TWE girls. If she can bend that far.

NFL Adam said...

Wow, could you imagine a Patriots vs. Cowboys Super Bowl? I don't think the Las Vegas Club would ever allow us back.

If they even will this year.

CB said...

One of TWE girls. If she can bend that far.

Instead of The Week Ender it could become The Rear Ender.

CB said...

The Vegas Club will be rolling out the red carpets. Hell, we drank seven cases of Tecate. That bar easily made seven, perhaps even eight dollars.

The chick that wanted to fight NASCAR JENN said...

I'll be waiting for that one chick.

StinkyBritches said...

The teams currently at the top are all objectionable.

Patriots are at the top of the list. The one truly unacceptable option.

Colts are next, although with a couple more games like this one I won't have to worry about them too much.

Cowboys are actually not as annoying as the days of Aikman and co. But their fans sure as shit are.

Green Bay is not without its charm, but the ESPN crew might end up having a bukkake party over a framed portrait of Favre if the old guy pulls it off.

Giants and the Messiah are in no danger of winning the whole thing, but the thought of Messiah winning even just one playoff game is just not right.

So...Steelers vs. Lions?

farley said...

Are we doing Vegas this year again? The LV Club cannot handle the Raiders fans in one section bringing in their homemade food and then Jen wanting to kill some reject from the pole.

Or who can forget the James Dungy impression?

James Dungy said...

Yeah, that wasn't funny.