Monday, October 29, 2007

Who blows more?

The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, arguably the worst team in NFL history, hold the dubious distinction of being the last team to go winless in a season (0-14). And each season, Lee Roy Selmon and members of that team get together to open a bottle of champagne when the final winless team finally crosses over to the winning side. Actually, this is unconfirmed, but they probably do. Gathering at Lee Roy Selmon's restaurant each Sunday during the football year.

That mark seemingly in danger every year, but this year seems especially perilous because there are two teams challenging the NFL's record of futility -- the St. Louis Football Team and the Dolphins. But which team has the best chance of actually making a run at the 1976 Buccaneers?

If both teams end up winless, they should hold a special game the weekend prior to the Super Bowl and call it the Imposs-i-Bowl and let the Dolphins and St. Louis battle it out for the first overall selection in the draft.

The case for St. Louis: At some point you have to ask yourself the question, which is more improbable: St. Louis loses another offensive lineman (Richie Incognito) or that an Olympic swimmer would drown in three feet of water? Well probably never know. St. Louis also lost running back Steven Jackson who is hurt with a back injury. And he probably won't be too anxious to get back on the field any time soon.
Potential trap game: Dec. 2 vs. Atlanta

The case for the Dolphins: Who could have seen this coming, seeing that Cam Cameron did such a great job as head coach at Indiana. And if that wasn't enough, the team almost got quarterback Trent Green killed, while Ronnie Brown is done for the season. And in a real committment to get the record, they traded their only other bankable offensive star -- receiver Chris Chambers -- to San Diego so he experience winning.
Potential trap game: Dec. 2 vs. Jets

Who blows more?
Dolphins
St. Louis FT

7 comments:

DAWUSS said...

It'd be funny if the winless Dolphins (0-14) beat the undefeated Patriots (14-0) Christmas weekend

Anonymous said...

The Dolphins actually played hard on the weekend, leaving open the possibility that they could win one. The Rams, OTOH, weren't even close, and they were playing one of the worst defences in the league with the Browns. I've got the Rams as a much better threat to go 0-16.

That Patriots-Dolphins upset isn't as far fetched as you might think. If the Pats are 14-0 with home field wrapped up, they will be resting people all over the place.

Bim Bim said...

That Patriots-Dolphins upset isn't as far fetched as you might think. If the Pats are 14-0 with home field wrapped up, they will be resting people all over the place.

No they won't. Haven't you been watching Hoodie's version of Sherman's March? The league called Hoodie and his henchmen cheaters and now they're rat fucking everything that crosses their path as a big, fat FU to the NFL. And you think they're suddenly going to back off when they have a chance to go Chris Benoit on the '72 Dolphins?

Bank on it: If the Pats are unbeaten when that last game comes, Hoodie will run that score into double digits if it means players have to die. And what a perfect flip-off to the league if he does it to the Dolphins.

Don Shula said...

In the aforementioned Dolphins-Patriots game, I, along with Bob Griese and Larry Csonka will be in the Dolphins locker room giving the pregame and halftime speeches, eager to open our champagne bottles

Anonymous said...

What blows more? This shitty blog or Adam's grammar?? Learn to write first dickface.

"St. Louis also lost running back Steven Jackson also is hurt with a back injury"

"And if that wasn't enough, the team almost got quarterback Trent Green killed, Ronnie Brown is done for the season. And in a real committment to get the record, they traded their only other bankable offensive star -- receiver Chris Chambers -- to San Diego so he experience winning."

Anonymous said...

CAN I ADD A TEAM TO VOTE FOR??
I VOTE FOR DENVER.
THESE FUCKHEADS COULD EASILY BE 0-8 IF IT WASN;T FOR ELAM...

P.S. FUCK THE CHARGERS TOO.

Bim Bim said...

Shula should keep some heart paddles around Sunday, because Indy is his last line of defense. If the Pats get through, Indy, his legacy is toast. He and the other '72 Dolphins need to pay homage to Saint Tonyphobe by harassing patrons at a gay bar or burning some Elton John records.