You should at least have to win a Super Bowl to attract girls like this. This is what's wrong with the sports world today. We make stars out of LeBron James and others before they ever win a championship. Back in the day, stars were made on the big stage. Joe Namath, for instance, wasn't a great statistical quarterback, but proved it in Super Bowl III. If he doesn't win that game, he's just another goof in a fur coat on the sideline. But that doesn't happen now. Sign the right endorsement and you are a huge deal.
And if you recognize Sophia from One Tree Hill or John Tucker Must Die, you are a Perry. Because the rest of us remember Sophia from her memorable three episode arch on Nip/Tuck.
And if you refer to something as a three-episode arch, you are a huge Perry.
THE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS OF DALLAS
Please notify the NFL that there are available stadiums in Los Angeles. Seriously. If the Chargers are in need of a temporary home, the Rose Bowl, Coliseum or Home Depot Center would do well for a one-game fix. Yet, the NFL is pushing to have the game played in Dallas.
Having the Chargers play in Los Angeles would be a logistical nightmare. Because if the Chargers played here, then people would actually want to come to the game. The NFL gave out free tickets to the Chargers game when the team had to relocate to Tempe, Ariz. for a game because of wildfires in 2003. And they would probably do it again for a relocated game this year.
Could you imagine if the Chargers were giving out free tickets to a game in Los Angeles? Chargers fans from around Southern California would be joined by Raiders fans looking for freebie tickets. Because deep down, the Raiders fans would be more loyal to a free ticket than watching their team lose to Tennessee this week. The NFL doesn't want to deal with a riot, which is what happened when the free tickets ran out. The NFL had no choice.
The only question is, how come this game isn't going to be relocated to Houston? The NFL already has a history of giving teams an extra home game when a team is playing another faced with a tragedy. Oh that's right, there's no history of giving teams and extra home game -- just the Giants.
And we all know that if Manhattan was burning, the entire NFL schedule would be pushed back a week. But since it's San Diego, the NFL is going to expect the Chargers and Texans to dodge misplaced San Diego residents on the way to the end zone.
- We all know the Chargers are going to lose this game handedly right? When you are going to lose your house to a fire, there is no way you can concentrate on playing football. Yes, these guys make huge money, but we are talking about their neighborhoods going up in flames. The bummer is that this will give Norv a built-in excuse for the next couple of weeks.
- Did anybody else notice the misprint earlier this week when the Colts were actually getting seven points against the Panthers? Teams coming off a bye hosting a non-conference opponent are typically pretty good, but the Colts getting seven points would have been the easiest wager in the world. You could imagine that Jim Sorgi's mom spit out her vodka tonic when she saw that line and said, "Even that horse-faced Gomer could beat the Panthers with seven points." But sadly, retirement has been pushed back as the Colts are giving seven points. Still, the Colts are 1-6 against the spread as road favorites. If you follow that kind of stuff for entertainment purposes.
- Tom Brady was seen on South Beach after drubbing the Dolphins last week. Laugh it up, Tom. The Redskins defense is better than you think. The Colts or Patriots are going to lose this week. The Sports Gods don't like us enough to give us a match that we are all looking for. That just can't happen. The Patriots seem the most vulnerable this week. They always struggled against Jim Bates and his physical defenses when he was the coordinator in Miami. Plus Redskins defensive coordinator Gregg Williams has some history with the Pats, going back to his stint as coach of the Bills. You have to believe that Joe Gibbs has at least one more trick up his sleeve. They have been playing too coy this week. The Redskins would be a great pick if this game was played in Washington.
- Don't be surprised if the St. Louis Football Team actually squeaks out a win this week. There is something disconcerting about the Browns being in the hunt for a playoff berth. Plus, you have to figure that Derek Anderson is going to come back to Earth some time. Like the Rockies, the off week might have come at the wrong time.
- What's up with the NFL's marketing team? If the Premiere League wanted to showcase itself in the NFL, do you think they would send one of the worst franchises to play against a team led by Wayne Rooney's goofy brother? Hardly. And what's with the talk of holding a Super Bowl in England? What time would that kickoff be, like 11 p.m. local time? The arrogance of people who try to peddle soccer here and American football overseas. The NFL is never going to replace futbol, so why even try? Maybe you can save some cash and try to make your product better in the states. One of the worst teams in the NFL is leading the AFC West. There are enough problems to address here, without having to go overseas to try to drum up support.
- Having the Dolphins overseas can only make the NFL less popular, if that is even possible. If the NFL really wanted to make a bid for England, they should have sent the Raiders. Do you even need an explanation why?
- Which epic matchup do you want to watch more, the Bills/Jets or the Jaguars/Buccaneers. Maybe we are thinking about this the wrong way. Maybe more of these games should be sent overseas.
SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALL RIGHT
Conversely, college football is getting exciting. USC travels to Eugene to play Oregon, and Arizona State plays host to Cal. Nobody is giving the Sun Devils much of a chance in this game. Funny, did anybody see Cal lose consecutive games to Oregon State and UCLA? How can you not think that the Sun Devils will prevail in this one? Be honest, Dennis Erickson is a great college football coach. Who would you rather have running your squad right now, Erickson or Jeff Tedford?
Sure, A State is going to end up on probation soon enough, but right now they are the better team. The Trojans, however, are in some real trouble. If USC can stop Oregon's running game, they should win this game.
Some experts believe starting Mark Sanchez is a bad move. Namely Todd Blackledge. And anybody who followed his pro career knows that he knows what it's like to make a bad choice. Blackledge believes that a starter shouldn't lose his job to injury. Meaning, that Drew Bledsoe would still be the quarterback of the Patriots if Blackledge was coach. So forgive us if we really don't care what he has to say.
And note, this will be a tough week for Sanchez whose father is still fighting fires here in Southern California.
- Love the Friday night WAC games. Boise State and Fresno State this week. How does anybody not pull for any of these two programs. The WAC is entertaining football. Wish that Fresno State could get back into the national picture, though. But you really have to pull for Boise State here because you want the Broncos to have only one loss when they face Hawaii.
Instead of giving out free tacos for a steal, Taco Bell should have offered a taco for each time Jonny Paplebonner goes to the "Blue Steel" gaze when he's on the mound. No wonder nobody can hit off him. Ugh, the Rockies are in still in decent shape. Three consecutive wins in Colorado should help. They only have to win on in Fenway, might as well be game six. Besides, there would be nothing better than to see the Rockies -- of all teams -- celebrate on that field.