Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Lil' Hater: Desperate Times

A broken collarbone will keep Matt Leinart from being able to put a condom on properly, so expect to see him impregnate a lot more wannabe WNBA wildebeests and other C-list actresses. If you're on the USC girls rugby team, watch out is all I'm saying.

Of maybe Brittney Spears will seek out Leinart so she can have a baby's daddy who doesn't want to be around the kids.

This injury will also keep Matt from throwing a good deep ball ... oh, wait, he couldn't do that before. I saw that firsthand this summer. Hey, Daddy Leinart, instead of spending your offseason directing your misplaced anger at plastic bobbleheads, maybe you could've spent your time taking Matt to a gym after his offseason arm surgery. That could have helped prevent this year's flame-out. Jerk.

Hey, at least he gets to use the injury as an excuse for losing his job to the Warner Machine, which would've come in a week or two anyways. You win the Al Czervik Award for most well-timed injury.

Memo to Chuck Price: Yeah, its probably safe to RSVP for that Feb. 2 party. Your client works for the Cardinals.

4 comments:

Bain said...

In the future, could stem cell research be employed to hasten the healing of fractures?

We'll never know, thanks to the Piggly Wiggly Bagging Machine and his skrunt wife.

NFL Adam said...

Embryo stem cells? Because Warner is down with adult stem cell research.

But cut the guy a break. He'll probably be raising Leinart's kid in a few years.

cb said...

Warner is down with adult stem cell research.

Apples and oranges. Embryonic stem cells contain a protein (Oct4) that gives them the ability to change into any kind of cell. Once they embed into the uterine wall, that protein shuts down. In adult stem cells it's barely present.

Fundies like Bagging Machine and his feather-boa chijuajua trot out their support for adult stem cell research as a slight of hand. Sort of like "intelligent design" with casualties.

NFL Adam said...

Ah, that makes sense.