Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Weak Ender

Friends, some disturbing news. It looks like Cowgirl has lost her gig at Sports Illustrated. Which probably comes as a shock to many of you, who didn’t even know that she had a job, other than showing up to football games in various stages of undress. Now, people tend to knock Cowgirl, but those people are just dopes. Anybody who has encouraged legions of liquored up young women to show up at football games dressed like they are going to an after hours party at Drais, should definitely be thanked by a grateful nation.

Word has it she has some other gig lined up. But until that time, the Sports Dork will now be the biggest boob on the Internet.

AMERICA’S TEAM
Speaking of the Sports Dork, the Chargers probably have America rooting for them because of the insufferable a-hole. Haven’t been to ESPN in quite some time, and life has been better since ignoring his predictable and tired diatribes.

Still, the Chargers are going to win this game. This is the perfect kind of game for the Chargers and Norv Turner to win – it’s meaningless. The Chargers need this as some sort of revenge. Turner needs this to prove that he’s not worthless. This all adds up. This game will be the Chargers Super Bowl until the dwindle down into a downward spiral.

YOUR COLLEGE FOOTBALL EXPERT
The biggest game of the weekend is USC at Nebraska. The game, however, has lost a lot of luster thanks to Nebraska’s flaccid performance against Wake Forest. Some thought that the Huskers might be looking ahead. But they just aren’t that good. And unfortunately, the people who make the lines feel the same way, installing USC as a 10-point favorite. If you follow that kind of thing. Which THN does not. But it still should be an entertaining game to watch. Thankfully, with the 5 p.m. start, the game will be over and will still give yours truly enough time watch the game, and then still get out to Sam Boyd Stadium to see Colt Brennan take on the UNLV Running Rebels at 6:30 p.m.

  • How badly is Auburn going to take out its frustration on Mississippi State?


  • Florida and Tennessee is a much anticipated match-up. Is there any way the Gators don’t run these guys off the field? Florida should win this game by 20, right?


  • Really put some thought into what would be better if Michigan or Notre Dame lost on Saturday. As fun as it would be for Notre Dame to start 0-3, you still feel Notre Dame is going to turn it around at some point this season. How can they not when you play Navy, Air Force and Servite High? Plus Charlie Weis deserves the benefit of the doubt. Maybe. But truth be told, watching Michigan flounder to 0-3 and wallow at the bottom of the Big Ten would really be something special. Besides, having the Big Ten exposed as the lowest of the power conferences kind of rules, too.


  • Book it: Washington over Ohio State.


THE NFL IN NFL ADAM
Outside of the Chargers and Patriots, the NFL is treating fans to another warm helping of dog droppings that are uninspired. Just think of some of the storylines generated this week. Who will start as at quarterback for the Raiders? Daunte Culpepper or Josh McCown. Seriously, are there Raiders fans anxiously banging away on their computers waiting for updates on that situation?

Look at the schedule, try to find one sexy match in this bunch. CBS is sending its top announcing team of Jim Nantz and that other guy to Chicago to watch the Chiefs and Bears game. A game where the Bears will probably win by 40. Can’t wait for that one.

  • New Yorkers finally got their wish as Eli Messiah and Chad Pennington both suffered injuries and could miss this weekend's set of games. But what excuse are they going to have when they lose this week? Hey, building for the future, right?


  • The Arizona Cardinals play host to the Seahawks this week. Here’s an interesting note, the Cardinals had a better division record than the Seahawks last season (4-2 to 3-3), but one only one game out of the division. O.k., it wasn’t that interesting.


  • New Orleans and Tampa Bay is interesting in the fact that the Buccaneers really need to win this game.


  • When Bill Belichick cheats on his wife, do you think he has a dude in an orange vest, sitting the closet tapping the whole thing?


  • Not sure if THN can mention this, but the Angels magic number sits at nine games right now. But seriously, sorry to bring this up for those of you who are offended by the mere mention of baseball, and don’t have the ability to skip the bullet points when you come across a subject that you don’t want to read about.


AND FINALLY
Greg Oden will miss the entire 2007 NBA season when fell in the bathtub and broke his hip. This is what happens when you draft 50-year old freshmen, people.

11 comments:

Kelly Monaco said...

I hate you

bucky said...

Word has it she has some other gig lined up.

What's the name of the club?

Peter Brown said...

KC@Chi as CBS' game of the week -- CBS only gets two shots at the nationally popular Bears, since there are only two AFC teams visiting Soldier Field. Nov. 25 is Den@Chi, but don't be shocked to see that one moved to Sunday night with the flexible scheduling.

Diane said...

The bullet points did help me skip all the college football crap - thanks!

O.J. Simpson said...

I hope you will all read a new book I will be releasing very soon titled, If I Stole in Vegas

smokkee said...

you should sign up for the 1st ever Blogger Fantasy Football Challenge. $500 has been added to the prize pool. details on my blog.

www.smokkee.blogspot.com

The Big Picture said...

cowgirl's old news...i've moved on to her friend chrystal. yeah, look her up. do it. perv.

West Side Slant said...

Oden falling in the bathtub and busting his 50 year-old hip is the 2nd funniest thing I've read this week.

It would've been #1, but 7-footers don't take baths. Great...now I have the visual of a nekkid 7-foot center in a bathtub.

See you in hell Adam.

BostonSucksMyBlog said...

classic post.
f simmons

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

First of all, Peter Brown get a nickname. Second, Cowgirl will be appeariing at the Lion's Den in Pomona.

George Horton said...

Go Ducks!!!