Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Super Bowl Buzz Kill: Patriots

Your team isn't going to the Super Bowl, so why have any optimism? The Hater Nation brings you back to reality with the Super Bowl Buzz Kill. Why your team won't win the Super Bowl:

The New England Patriots

A friend mentioned, moments after New England defeated the St. Louis football team in Super Bowl 36, that it was fitting that team called "The Patriots" would win following the tragic events of 9/11. And you have to figure that some fire fighter's widow, who was no longer able to feed her children, probably did rejoice in the fact that the Patriots won the Super Bowl.

The rest of us, however, were headed down to the Fremont sports book to cash in our bets that were paying close to $1K on a $100 money-line bet.

But much like the tragic events of 9/11, America is pretty much over the Patriots. And it’s not the recent cheating. If Bill Belichick was going to cheat on his wife, it only figures that he would be cheating in football games, too. Nobody can be surprised that about that.

Despite having the scruples of Barry Bonds, optimism for the Patriots is sky high. The main reason is Randy Moss, who made the Michigan Wolverines Jets look silly on Sunday. But here's the rub Patriots fan, we’ve seen this act before. Moss was incredible in his debut with the Raiders too, ironically against the Patriots.

Moss burned the Patriots for five receptions for 130 yards including a 73-yard touchdown in prime time for the Raiders. In fact, Moss was on a tear for the first four games of the season until, of course, he was punched in the mouth once and floundered the rest of the way. Now, many believe in the power of Hoodie and his ability to make team players out of malcontents, but it will take only one bad performance, or one poor throw from Tom Brady before the real Randy Moss exposes himself.

And not in the way that would make Joe Buck indignant.

No, the first week of the season and Moss' sky-high performance only makes the impending implosion of the Patriots that much more anticipated and titillating.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

This has nothing to do with the Angels

Anonymous said...

How funny. The Chargers are going to get their asses spanked this weekend, so laugh it up now bitch.

Seitz said...

Cheaters

Anonymous said...

who was the one who threw down $250 to hear "Eye of the Tiger" at the NYNY Piano Bar?

The Sidelines Cameraman said...

I don't know why everybody's getting all worked up; I was just trying to catch some voyeur film of those sweet D cups Mangini has.

lumps said...

That was nothing at NYNY, don't you remember the St. Louis fans that were beating the crap out of each other in the parking lot of
moose's?

That chic shouldn't have been hitting her boyfriends fist with her chin so much, th stupid biyatch.