Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Post Mortem

The big story on this NFL Sunday was the performance of a grizzly, graying veteran who put his team on his back in a gusty comeback.

Of course, that is Kurt Warner.

The Kurt Warner Machine, facing unbelievable odds, nearly rallied the Birds back against Raven only to fall just short on Matt Stover’s field goal as time expired. There are no moral victories in the NFL. And it’s certain that Matt Leinart will be the Birds starting, but the old man can still wing it.

FAVRE BREAKS RECORD
And it wasn’t the interception record, yet. Brett Favre tossed three touchdown passes against the hapless Chargers secondary as the Packers inched San Diego closer to oblivion. Talk about an old man who can wing it, Favre should sign up for another couple of years. That was Favre’s second consecutive game where Favre has thrown three touchdown passes.

The most impressive thing about Favre, is that Troy Aikman and Steve Young seem barely lucid during an NFL broadcast -- especially when Troy is defending Norv Turner on PTI -- but Favre is not only still playing, but playing at a very high level. That's somewhat unbelievable. Favre was a rookie when Deion Sanders was rocking MC Hammer in the Falcons locker room.

Plus he is perfect for a franchise like Green Bay, a team that only needs to win a championship, oh, once every 30 years to be considered successful. An ideal fit for a guy who hasn't won a meaningful playoff game since 1997.

LT NOT HAPPY
Speaking of teams that haven't won a championship in 40 years ... with the way LT and Philip Rivers were arguing on the sideline, you would have thought that the young quarterback was mocking Shawne Merriman’s sack celebration. The frustration for Tomlinson has to be at an all-time high, probably even worse than 2005 when the Chargers just kind of felt their way through a 9-7 season, despite being a trendy pick for the Super Bowl. At least Rivers was able to get something going, and actually looked pretty sharp. But how can you ignore LT like that?

As Lil’ Hater pointed out, Norv Turner finds a way to ignore his best players. And it should be noted that LT’s worst statistical season was under Turner’s watch as offensive coordinator. LT should probably just make like Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack and fake an injury in an effort to save one year on his career that he is going to flush down the toilet this season.

  • Happy birthday to Marty Schottenheimer. Probably the luckiest guy in the world. Missing coordinators, Cam Cameron and Wade Phillips, the Chargers probably wouldn’t have been as good this season. But, because he was unceremoniously fired after going 14-2, now looks like a martyr.
  • If the NFL really wanted to feature NFL Hispanic Heritage month, why not have a prime time game featuring the Cowboys and Raiders?
  • Congratulations St. Louis Football Team, you are the first team to be eliminated from playoff contention. The banged up offensive line suffered another injury against Tampa Bay. And before any of you morons believe that this team would be better off under Mike Martz, keep dreaming. Martz gets quarterbacks killed behind healthy lines, what would he do with a line like St. Louis has now?
  • The most pressing question, can St. Louis go a perfect 0-16? We haven't been that good.
  • The undefeated Lions era was too short. But going back to Martz, have you noticed that Martz is at his best when he has a Christian quarterback like Warner or Jon Kitna? But Martz, with his blockign schemes, seems determined to getting Warner and Kitna killed, proving that Martz is in fact, the devil.
  • Credit Mike Shanahan for the Raiders first win of the season.
  • Keep the Eagles in the throwbacks.
  • Journeyman premieres Monday on NBC. Sorry, liked the show better when it was called Quantum Leap.
  • The Chargers victory over the Bears looks even less impressive after the way the Cowboys rolled through Soldier Field. The Chargers play host to Kansas City and Oakland, sandwiched around a trip to Denver. Best case scenario, the Chargers go 2-1. But don’t count on it. This team will quit soon.
  • Wade Phillips looks like a guy who deserved a third chance, not Norv. Don't give the Cowboys the NFC championship just yet, but they look pretty good so far. But if the season plays out like it's current direction, Favre and the Cowboys could hook up again, just like old times. Only this time, there is no Mike Holmgren to wilt in front of the Cowboys. Not to say that Holmgren was outclassed by the Cowboys, but his team once started a fight with the Cowboys kicker on Monday Night Football.
  • Amazing interview with Eli Messiah following the Giants victory over the Racial Slurs. They asked Eli how he was able to engineer that comeback. Really, engineer? Because it looked to everybody else that the Messiah through slip screen to Plaxico Burress who took it 32-yards for a touchdown. The Messiah is a horrible quarterback, but imagine how bad he would be without Burress.

    Oh yeah, he’d be Rex Grossman. And does anybody else notice the similarity between Grossman’s and Donovan McNabb’s careers? A couple of oft-injured quarterbacks who rode their defense to a Super Bowl. Sound like a couple of peas in a pod.
  • Mike Shanahan is going to be ripped for going for it on fourth-and-five from his own 9-yard line, but he made the right choice. There was no way the Broncos were going to stop the Jaguars running attack. And at least Shanny took a chance unlike 90 percent of NFL coaches out there.
  • So much for the Patriots having a hangover from pounding the Chargers. You figured New England would win, but did you think it would be that easy? The Bills might be the worst team in the NFL. And the AFC East, sans New England, is just awful. Although, thanks to the Jets, there is a second team from the division who has a victory.
  • UNLV clobbered Utah, who was coming off a stunning upset of UCLA. That could only mean one thing. UNLV is better than UCLA. And not just on the latest season of EA Sports College Football 08.
  • Arizona State finally made its way to the Top 25. But how and the hell is Kentucky all the way up to No. 14? That so-called huge victory over Louisville is all for not, seeing that Syracuse beat them—at home. Honestly, is there anybody who believes that Kentucky would even be able to stay close to Arizona State if they played head-to-head? Come on, don’t be so na├»ve.


AND FINALLY
The NFL has enacted a ban on cheerleaders from performing stretches and other, um, activities in front of an opposing team's bench for fear that they will distract the team. What other plot points do they want to ban from the movie, The Replacements? The next thing you know, the NFL will ban kickers from Wales chain-smoking on the sidelines.

Does the NFL really need a rule for this? Maybe the league should spend more time stopping dudes from taking HGH rather than banning cheerleaders from doing what the do. Seriously, if cheerleaders are banned from distracting the opposing team's players, what exactly are they doing out there? Good lord, sometimes we really do miss the XFL.

And one question, how does this ban affect the Panthers cheerleader's bathroom habits?

20 comments:

DAWUSS said...

Kentucky's #14 because they're in the SEC and it promotes that "SEC Supremacy" argument. Not that they're going to the Georgia Dome for the SEC Championship, mind you.

Bim Bim the Bastard said...

It would be great to see the Cowboys go to Lambeau for the playoffs, a place where they have never won a game. Could Romo be the quarterback to break the Cowboy's record of futility at Lambeau?

Great to see how much faith you have in Warner, especially considering that last week you were trying to talk me out of taking the Cards and the points with an 8.5 spread.

Anyway, I don't want to keep you. You Charger-loving Favre haters here at THN have a lot of cock to suck this morning. Enjoy your meal!

Norv Turner's Facial Cream said...

"Plus he is perfect for a franchise like Green Bay, a team that only needs to win a championship, oh, once every 30 years to be considered successful. An ideal fit for a guy who hasn't won a meaningful playoff game since 1997."

As opposed to a team that hasn't won a meaningful playoff game since, like, ever? Hope the sour grapes taste good, bitch. The Pats should get an assist though, for exposing the Chargers for the polesmokin' frauds they are. Only LT cryin' in the press conference would have made this better.

Gaylord said...

Good Call on the Chargers this weekend, Norv will be lucky to make it through the season. And I agree great game by the Messiah, those G-men are getting hot, look for an impressive winning streak and Eli to win the MVP.

Conrad Bain said...

Buck up, Chargerfan, the season isn't over yet. You have a lot more pain coming.

Wouldn't it be funny if Oakland won the AFC West? And it could happen, for damn sure. Hell, if not for the famous Magical Pass call last year, the Raiders would have beaten the Bolts right there in Tijuana's Hat!

DAWUSS said...

Did anyone catch during the Giants game when Troy compared Eli to Peyton and then Joe Buck said Eli would kiss him for that? Who is it that's gay, Joe or Eli?

NFL Adam said...

No worries, Bim Bim, I'm sure you made a lot of money taking the Giants on the moneyline like I told you.

But in fairness, if I had known the Warner Machine was going to be cranked up in Baltimore, I would have been all over that game. The Warner Machine is unstoppable.

And sorry Bain, I can't jump on the Raiders bandwagon after beating the Browns. Though, they could very well finish higher than the Chargers. Hell, the Chargers have a better chance at the first overall selection then they do playoffs.

Bim Bim said...

No worries, Bim Bim, I'm sure you made a lot of money taking the Giants on the moneyline like I told you.

And if you'd taken your Cowboys on the moneyline like I told you, you'd be tied with me atop the GA instead of still looking up after your best week yet.

Not Terry Benedict said...

If we had a playoff in college football the transitive sports method of evaluating teams would pretty much go by the wayside, which is truly a crime if I ever saw one.

Not that you'd need the transitive method to know a Karl Dorrell-coached team can lose to anyone, especially if it's a road or bowl game.

NFL Adam said...

I really bought into that Bears defense. But the true blunder was taking Minnesota. Dumb pick. Not to worry, the Titans will make up for it tonight.

Feeling you Not Terry Benedict. UCLA really needs to raise some funds to get Dorrell out of there.

Not Terry Benedict said...

If they hurry they could probably catch Bob Toledo on his way to double-reverse drills at Tulane.

Bim Bim said...

I really bought into that Bears defense. But the true blunder was taking Minnesota.

Yeah, those were pretty dumb picks. But at least you knew Favre would snotkick your Dolts.

NFL Adam said...

The Chargers will be the town whore this year, everybody gets a piece.

bucky said...

Since when did the Power Rangers sign on to play for the Eagles?

Bim Bim said...

The Chargers will be the town whore this year, everybody gets a piece.

The Raiders? Sorry NFL Adam, but I can't jump on the Raiders bandwagon with you yet. They only beat the Browns.

I thought this was a Raider hating site. I feel ripped off.

NFL Adam said...

We hate everybody.

bucky, green and gold said...

Plus he is perfect for a franchise like Green Bay, a team that only needs to win a championship, oh, once every 30 years to be considered successful. An ideal fit for a guy who hasn't won a meaningful playoff game since 1997.

1997 was the year Favre and the Packers won the Super Bowl, although they did appear in it in 1998 (and hence won the NFC Championship that year).

If winning the Super Bowl is your standard for winning a "meaningful playoff game", I can count the teams on one paw of my six-toed cat who can say they have accomplished this. None of them are the Chargers or the Cowboys. One of them is the fucking Rams.

Perhaps a bigger issue is whether or not the Cowboys will ever win a game in Green Bay in my lifetime. Seeing as I'm a 44-year-old man, they better get busy on that, because I won't be alive forever.

Sevenmack said...

Dude, get Washington's name right: It is Redskins, not Racial Slurs. Native Americans, as this Black man can attest (being part Cherokee) aren't a race. And hell, in this country, Native Americans don't count unless you're trying to gain control of a casino or an advantage in affirmative action hiring.

Sorry, but they should be lucky to have Washington named for them. Cleveland hasn't done much in 100 or so years and the Braves only got one World Series. And the Chiefs? Actually, maybe Washington should change its name from Redskins; being associated with Native Americans isn't such good luck, is it?

Matt said...

Maybe I read this wrong, but did you actually compare Rex Grossman to Donovan McNabb? I'm not a huge McNabb fan but in his seven years he's lead the Eagles to six winning seasons -- each of them with 10 or more victories. The only thing Grossman has done consistently is sabotage his team.

Sevenmack's wife and pets said...

Sorry, but they should be lucky to have Washington named for them.

Honey, didn't you just tell these people that you're part Cherokee? So shouldn't it be "we"?

Doh!