Monday, August 06, 2007

THN Football Talk

THN has longed envied the many rumor sites out there on the Internets because making (expletive) up and regurgitating the NFL Network ticker seems a whole lot easier than trying to write material each and every day.

So with that in mind, THN would like to delve into the rumor business because, really, if of these rumors actually come true, then that will put THN ahead of everybody else.

So bash it here for the Gossip Grinder.

Posted 11:58 PST, August 6, 2007
Bill Cowher will coach the San Diego Chargers next season after Norv Turner flames out following a 2-14 season...

Posted 10:58 PST, August 6, 2007
Michael Irvin is soon going to have his own show on the Food Network. There are no sources to back this claim and there are absolutely no facts to back this claim. But think about this. The Food Network specializes in food. Michael Irvin has once eaten food. That’s not a big leap to make, thinking that Irvin will end up with his own Food Network show...

Posted 9:58 PST, August 6, 2007
League chatter insists that Bill Cowher will coach New England next year after Bill Belichick resigns. You heard it hear first...

Posted 8:58 PST, August 6, 2007
A family wearing Chargers gear will show up to Oakland Coliseum and not be harassed by Raiders fans. A spokesman for the team will note that the Raiders do not want to foster the thug image of their fans...

Do our post look more authoritative when posted in red?
Bill Cowher will coach the Washington Redskins next season...

Posted 7:58 PST, August 6, 2007
Norv Turner is inching closer to doing a signing an endorsement deal with Noxema a source tells us. Meanwhile, A major American corporation is interested in doing a football ad not featuring Peyton Manning or Reggie Bush...

Seriously, this red is annoying huh?
Bill Cowher will coach the Buffalo Bills nex season...

Posted 7:57 PST, August 6, 2007
Matt Leinart evidentially hung out at his house on Saturday, watching movies, hanging out not hitting the night life in Los Angeles...

Posted 7:56 PST, August 6, 2007
Bill Cowher will coach Mater Dei high school next year...

Posted 7:56.41 PST, August 6, 2007
A current NFL player will go to a birthday party one weekend and refuse to drink any alcohol because he is driving...

Posted 7:56.39 PST, August 6, 2007
Bill Cowher will coach the Los Angeles Avengers next season as the NFL will eventually absorb the Arena Football League. In fact, NFL overtime games will be decided AFL style, but only after John Elway punches David Baker in the face...

Posted 7:55 PST, August 6, 2007
Carson Palmer seems to be the only player in Cincinatti not involved with the police, but our sources say he's actually a high-ranking member of the Cincy mob...

Posted 7:11 PST, August 6, 2007
Bill Cowher will coach Atlanta next season after Bobby Petrino is implicated in a cock-fighting ring...

Posted Kwik-E-Mart PST, August 6, 2007
Marshawn Lynch is actually happy to be in Buffalo and isn't eyeing his free agent date at all. He loves it, really...

Posted 7:00 PST, August 6, 2007
Bill Cowher will coach the Steelers next season...

Posted 6:58 PST, August 6, 2007
There is one blogger somewhere who actually believes that Jeff Garcia is straight...

(Any similarities to existing sites is purely coincidental.)

6 comments:

The Ultimate Warrior said...

Gay.

Find a new writer.

Anonymous said...

THAT WAS WORSE THAN TED'S CRAP THAT HE SENDS US EVERY WEDNESDAY

Bill Cowher said...

Actually I'm coaching at USC next season

Anonymous said...

I HEARD THAT TURNER WAS CLOSE TO SIGNING AN ENDORSEMENT DEAL WITH PRO-ACTIV. HIM AND FREDDY KRUGER SHOULD DO A POST-GAME SHOW ON T.V.EVERY WEEK.
THAT WOULD BE "MUST SEE" T.V.

Freddy Kruger said...

I get it. I have bad skin. But dude, that was just messed up.

james said...

i'm sure this would be funny if i knew the site in question you are mocking.