Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Super Bowl Buzz Kill: Raven

Your team isn't going to the Super Bowl, so why have any optimism? The Hater Nation brings you back to reality with the Super Bowl Buzz Kill. Why your team won't win the Super Bowl:

Raven

Stacy Keibler was once a Raven cheerleader. Now their cheerleaders have a bunch of dudes like
this guy
.

Kind of a let down, huh? And that is what Raven has become. Probably the biggest letdown in the NFL.

Overshadowed in the Chargers epic meltdown against New England, was Raven’s absolutely flaccid performance against the Colts. Getting hoodwinked by the Patriots is one thing, but Tony Dungy outwitted Brian Billick, and killed any hope of delivering the one game everybody wanted to see last year, Raven vs. The Chargers.

Raven had the league’s best defense, but once again, the offense continues to be a sore spot. The team managed just six points against the Colts. Yes, that’s right, six freaking points. But not that anybody should be surprised. Raven has a great defense every year, but the offense blows. Then some wiseass in the booth points out that Billick was an amazing offensive coordinator in Minnesota, but he can never seem to get anything going in Baltimore. So they will continue to recycle offensive coordinator like Jim Fassel. Who got fired. They go through countless quarterbacks, like Steve McNair, who will eventually fail. Like he did last year. (Hey, what the hell was wrong with Trent Dilfer who won you a Super Bowl?) Now it’s Willis McGahee’s turn to come to Baltimore with a lot of promise, but he too will ultimately fail to get the Ravens going.

Hey, has anybody ever thought of getting rid of Billick? Raven seems content on pissing years away of having the best defense while the offense continues to grind its gears.

Look for Raven to have another great year, even with New England and Indy slated for December visits. Just don’t expect that offense to do anything as the team lets everybody down again.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

What's the obsession with Raven?

Redskins fans across America said...

Is there anyone who's been a Ravens fan their whole life?

Stevie Richards said...

I find Raven to be fascinating.

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Not Gay) said...

I am not gay.

Tim Hardaway said...

Yes you are

Kordell Stewart said...

you can keep saying you are not gay over and over again, it doesn't wash the gay away. Trust me, tried.

Tom Cruise said...

You would probably have to knock some starlet up to make this go away.

Tony Dungy said...

Give Senator Craig a break. Really, I can't understand why people are so hung up over sexuality.

NFL Adam said...

The Raven joke has been around for as long as this board, but that was the first appearance by Stevie Richards.

Well done.