Your team isn't going to the Super Bowl, so why have any optimism? The Hater Nation brings you back to reality with the Super Bowl Buzz Kill. Why your team won't win the Super Bowl:
The Carolina Panthers
The Panthers are easily the biggest letdown in the NFL. And that’s just the cheerleaders. Think about it these two were supposedly having a lesbian encounter in the bathroom and they were going to share their story in Penthouse. But what happened? Turns out one of them was puking in the stall, they punched a fatty and they didn’t even get a Lifetime movie.
And that’s pretty much how the Panthers have fared in the past couple of years. The team always has tons of promise at the beginning of the season, but like that fabled lesbian encounter, it never reaches expectations.
But maybe that will help them this year, having the ability to fly under the radar again like they did in 2003, now that America has fallen in love with the New Orleans Saints.
Ah, no. That’s just not going to happen. The only wide ranging fantasy that has Carolina winning the Super Bowl would start off with a letter like this…
“Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me. After years and years of chronicling underachieving, either through poor coaching, or knocking up a stewardess on a team charter flight, we finally won the Super Bowl.
Johnny in Carolina”
In other words, don’t count on it.