Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Super Bowl Buzz Kill: Lions

Your team isn't going to the Super Bowl, so why have any optimism? The Hater Nation brings you back to reality with the Super Bowl Buzz Kill. Why your team won't win the Super Bowl:

The Detroit Lions

The Lions are annually one of those trendy sleeper picks that people like to make. (Like the Cardinals.) And each year, they end up disappointing everybody. (Like the Cardinals.)

Quarterback Jon Kitna even got into the act, predicting that this team could win 10 games. (Yes, Mike Furrey said, 12 but stick with us here.) Kitna needs to realize that this kind of thinking is going to get him killed. Or at least his mother beat up.

Former Lions quarterback Joey Harrington told the Detroit Free Press that Lions fans left death threats on his voicemail and even threatening to beat up his mother.

"I got that very, very rarely to my face. I got a lot of people who would leave notes. I got a couple of death threats on my voicemail. It got to the point where I had to take my family out of the stands because people were trying to start fights with my mom.”

Even Raiders fans think you have gone too far with this. The Lions haven’t had a quality quarterback since Bobby Layne retired. Do you think the fans were threatening Eric Hipple’s mother? Where are these expectations coming from. The Lions have been losing for so long, you figure they’d be used to it by now. Or so you would think.

But before any Lions fans has any delusions of grandeur, or try to take on Kitna’s mom, let’s all remember that Mike Martz is the offensive coordinator for this team. You know, the guy who took the most talented cast in the NFL and made them chronic underachievers. Fans can be tough on Lions quarterbacks (well, through voice mail, at least), but they have nothing on the damage that Martz will put them through. Those nine receiver sets come with consequences that usually doom the careers of quarterbacks under center.

Kurt Warner would probably be headed for the Pro Football Hall of Fame if Martz had designed one play where somebody helped with a block. Between the fans or Martz, this can’t end well for Kitna.


GMoney said...

There is one Lion QB better than Bobby Layne and he goes by the name of Scott Mitchell.

yiddish steel said...

Stop disrespektin' Rodney Pete, y'all (skinny Rodney Pete, that is)... 9 Receiver Sets??! That's like all-day-long funny, my man.

Erik Kramer said...

I'm gonna track you down and kill you.

Chaz Batch said...

Me too.

Anonymous said...

That apple is all-day-long-shiny, my man.