Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Super Bowl Buzz Kill: Dolphins

Your team isn't going to the Super Bowl, so why have any optimism? The Hater Nation brings you back to reality with the Super Bowl Buzz Kill. Why your team won't win the Super Bowl:

The Miami Dolphins

You have to get the Dolphins credit, when something doesn’t work, they don’t make the same mistake again. The Dolphins hired a successful college football coach to take over the program to disastrous results. Nick Saban did not want to be an NFL coach and that was apparent to everybody, except for those suckers who believed him last year when he said that he had no interest in the Alabama job.

So the Dolphins didn’t go out and get another successful college coach—they got a horrible college coach to take his job. Cam Cameron was a miserable coach at the Indiana University, where he compiled an 18-37 record.

And unlike the situation at LSU, Saban did not leave the cupboard loaded so a mediocre coach could come in and win immediately. Cameron was successful as a coordinator in San Diego, but who wouldn’t be with LaDainian Tomlinson, Philip Rivers and Antonio Gates. (Well, other than Norv Turner.)

Trent Green has been a solid starter through his career, but he’s being outclassed by Cleo Lemon right now. Don't worry, nobody else (not even the broad in the picture) has heard of him, either. Ronnie Brown had a horrible sophomore season. The lone bright spot is receiver Derek Hagan, but who is going to get him the ball.

No, the Dolphins will be so miserable this year, it will likely be the team’s front office planting rumors that Cameron is leaving to go back to the college ranks. The only problem is, nobody would want him.


Sun Devil said...

D-Hag is the shit

insomniac said...

Soon Football Talk will be reporting that Cam Cameron will be the new offensive coordinator at Tennessee after Norm Chow takes the head coaching gig at USC after Pete Carroll becomes the new head coach of the Raiders who have re-relocated to LA from Oakland.

Anonymous said...

*sees picture*

wow, is it Friday?

*checks calendar*


Anonymous said...

I agree, Derek Hagan is amazing. He made Andrew Walter and Sam Keller look like heisman candidates whenever they threw the ball to him.

DAWUSS said...

You should do the Lucky Charms next - I could use some extra material when acknowledging the fact that Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning aren't going to win Super Bowl XLII to some of these delusional bandwagoners (all but maybe 3 people [myself included] living in India-no-place)

Conrad Bain said...

Cameron was successful as a coordinator in San Diego, but who wouldn’t be with LaDainian Tomlinson, Philip Rivers and Antonio Gates.

Rivers looked great against the defensive powerhouses of KC and Oakland, but Hoodie treated him like a Boy Scout treats his favorite gym sock.

HugeLetter said...

Wow, who is that broad? She can flog my dolphin anytime.

Conrad said...

The bottom of that photo was cropped about 2 inches too high.