Monday, August 20, 2007

The Post Mortem

The funny thing about preseason football is that the first week is so exciting because, well, it’s just great to have football back. But then the second week hits and you realize that you have to put up with another month of this (expletive)—a bunch of games that nobody cares about except for the truly degenerate gambler.

And don’t misinterpret this, preseason football is necessary to see how all of those kids react in actual game situations, it’s just that it is so hard for the fans to care about it. Unless you have already done your fantasy football draft, then you cringe when your star running back (Travis Henry) goes down.

In short, the preseason just sucks from the second week to the games finally count.

And you have to believe that is the way that Tim Couch kind of feels. Sure it felt nice to have the Jaguars give you a call to compete for a quarterback spot. But at the end of the day, he probably just doesn't care about playing football anymore as long as he still has that Cleveland bonus money and a wife that was felt up by both Cade McNown and Bob Barker, life is pretty good without the headache of actually having to play football.

ELI ENDS A CAREER
Receiver Mike Jennings had an outside shot of making the Giants roster. Eli Messiah made sure that he had no chance at all. The Messiah threw a pass that was awkwardly out of reach to Jennings who reached out and snared the wobbling duck—and snapped his Achilles tendon. Not only ending his season, but likely his career.

Somewhere, Eli probably wishes who could trade places with Jennings right now. That would be the easy way out, just like Cooper took.

The Messiah had a pretty decent night against Raven’s vanilla defense, completing 10-of-13 passes for 114 yards and a touchdown to Steve Smith. Of course, nobody will talk about the two fumbles that he lost, and the third he would have coughed up, if not for a gratuitous penalty call.

Other preseason thoughts:

  • The Kurt Warner machine is ready to go. Warner looked good against the Los Angeles Dons, err, Houston Texans, completing 7-of-9 passes. But Matt Leinart was perfect, going 7-for-7. You have to admit, the Cardinals are an awesome preseason force.
  • Brady Quinn looked pretty good. But that’s expected seeing that most preseason schemes are the same as the basic package that Stanford (or any other Notre Dame patsy runs). Still, Quinn is going to be your starter, why delay the inevitable? His debut on the field was a rare moment of excitement in what has to be the most boring preseason in NFL history. No really, how many 13-10, 13-12 games are we supposed to endure? Please pray that the NFL regular season will be a little bit more entertaining.
  • Holy Lord, Brett, it’s only preseason brother. But damn Green Bay beat the hell out of Seattle. Even Aaron Rogers looked serviceable. If Favre can do this in the regular season, he's going to put that interception record out of reach.
  • Somebody posed the question, is any victory, even a preseason victory, a good one over the St. Louis football team? That answer is no, because Georgia Frontandrearie still made money out of the deal.
  • Remember when the Raiders wanted us to believe that Alvis Whitted was an NFL-caliber receiver? His game-blowing drop in the closing seconds of a loss at San Francisco did assure him of a spot with the Raiders, though.
  • Anybody else remember when coaches didn’t blitz during the preseason? Bill Belichick blitzed the hell out of Vince Young, and Wade Phillips wanted to ruin the fantasy season for somebody by blitzing the Broncos all night.
  • What can anybody say about Johan Santana’s 17-strikeout performance on Sunday? Other than George—whether he is suffering from dementia or not—is going to have to really did deep to get him out of Minnesota next year. And Dr. Ross is going to see if he can perform CPR on himself.
  • How is it that a split in Fenway Park feels as good as a sweep? But now you get kind of spoiled and imagine what would have happened if Jered Weaver hadn’t completely imploded on Saturday. Still would feel more comfortable with a bat, but this team can compete with the AL East teams. But too many small ball failures in October are nagging.
  • Reading gets its first win of the season, and is looking in pretty good shape after opening the year with its two hardest games on the road.


AND FINALLY
Former Boise State quarterback Jared Zabransky made his NFL debut on Saturday for the Houston Texans, in all places but University of Phoenix Stadium. The site of the Broncos improbable comeback over Oklahoma just a few months earlier.

But do you think Gary Kubiak could have thrown us viewers a bone during this preseason blowout by having Zabransky run a “Hook and Ladder” or a “Statue of Liberty?”

Nope.

That would have been the talk of the preseason and might have even garnered a little interest, but nope. Zabransky played it straight and if anybody was still watching, they would have been enraged.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice try asshole.

Anonymous said...

The Fiesta Bowl is played at Sun Devil Stadium idiot.

bucky said...

I think I'd want to stay anonymous too if I were as up to speed as the previous poster. He's still attending Niners' games at Kezar Stadium.

The second anonymous guy said...

Hey, the Cowboys play in the Cotton Bowl.

Third anonymous guy said...

Yeah we play in Three Rivers Stadium, and i am not now or never been gay.

Conrad Bain said...

That's nothing. Last month some Anonymous dope said Vick would get probation.

Sun Devil said...

I will be the next QB for the Falcons. But first I have to take care of some high school punks at McDonalds.

Marcus Vick, who is not a Sun Devil. said...

Don't post on THN while enjoying drinks in the office. You end up using the wrong name. Fuck.

A different anonymous guy said...

Do the Lakers still play at the Forum?

Fran Tarkenton said...

I'm looking forward to seeing the Vikings play at the Met this year.

Gil Hodges said...

Brooklyn is pumped for another playoff run at Ebbets Field!

Eric Dickerson said...

Can't wait for the first kickoff at the Big A this year.