Friday, July 20, 2007

The Weak Ender

Such is life, eh? Some pit bulls get to sleep in the bed with Jessica Biel. Others are thrown into battle in Mike Vick's Ultimate Dog Fighting Championship.

Life is just not fair.

And as expected, there is a mixed reaction down in Atlanta, with some fans wanting due process. One of the readers to Vic Carruci’s mail bag indicated that Vick wasn’t “didn’t kill any humans” and said that it was nothing worse than what Pacman Jones and Ray Lewis did.

Except, of course, that neither player killed anybody, either. A more apt example would have been Leonard Little seeing that he did, you know, kill somebody. There is your reasoned case, Vick fans. At least have something intelligent to say if you are going to try to defend him.

And the whole notion that he “didn’t kill any humans,” is weak because mistreating animals is the starter point for most serial killers. Vick is a straight up sociopath and let's hope he gets what is coming to him.

SNOOP DOGG: COLLEGE FOOTBALL EXPERT
Famed rapper and USC fan Snoop Dogg was not to impressed with LSU's Loss Mile's analysis of the Pac-10 conference. Said Sir Dogg:

"Who the (procreation) is Les Miles?"

"The SEC, we done played Arkansas last year Les, tore they ass up by 40 Les, they won your division last year, Les, (female dog)-ass mother(fornicator)."

Word, Snoop, word.

UPDATE: Sadly, THN received an email that indicated that this might be a hoax. But the story will stay up here because let’s be honest, Snoop probably feels that way.

  • Some morons have taken to comparing dog fighting to horse racing. If you can’t figure out the difference maybe you should take a bath over at Mike Vick’s house when he’s holding an electrical cord.
  • SEC football fans also like dog fighting. It's true.
  • This was alluded to earlier this week, but is anybody else surprised that Nancy Grace or somebody else hasn’t tried to tie steroids to this Vick thing? NFL players use steroids, so maybe it was the juice (steroids, not O.J.) that turned him plum crazy. And before you start, no, Vick never failed a drug test. But neither did Chris Benoit.
  • Dear NBA, thank you for having one of your referees bet on games, possibly shaving points. That couldn’t have come at a better time. Sincerely, Roger Goodell.
  • Attention PETA: Listen guys, love your work. Well not really. But hey, us normal people have this whole Vick thing covered. Us normals will get him suspended and stuff, so you can stop your protests in front of the NFL offices in New York. Please, you will only hurt the cause. Can’t you find a dog track or something to protest?
  • Speaking of steroids, Gary Player is convinced that a number of pro golfers are using steroids. Seriously, are we supposed to add anything to that?
  • Remember when opinion was mixed on whether the Chargers made a mistake trading the draft rights to Vick for LaDainian Tomlinson? Somewhere Ryan Leaf is pissed because Vick could have been the biggest embarrassment in Chargers history.
  • A man turned down $5K to Bonds’ home run ball on Thursday afternoon. At least he didn’t throw it back, like the moron that tossed back Alex Rodriguez’s 300th career home run at Angel Stadium a few years back.
  • Speaking of the Angels, the demotion of Ervin Santana was way over due. Like it shouldn’t have even taken that long. The ironic twist in all of this is that it might not be a bad idea for the Angels to get more pitching.
  • Chris Carpenter will miss the rest of the season (and then some) following Tommy John surgery. Why does Tommy get credit for that and why doesn’t that apply to other surgeries. Like, why isn’t a breast augmentation referred to as Pamela Anderson surgery?
  • Go back to Russia.
  • Daunte Culpepper has made a visit to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Seriously. Bruce Allen is like that guy in your fantasy football draft that doesn’t take a quarterback until, like, the tenth round and then has to scramble through every scrub left in the league.
  • There is a rumor floating around that NBC is thinking of bringing American Gladiators back to television after NFL games on Sunday night. Keep praying.
  • The biggest miscarriage of justice today: The Shield received no Emmy nominations for best actor or supporting actor.
THE LINKS (coming)

AND FINALLY
Beckham mania is finally working. With David’s arrival and Victoria’s surprisingly good reality special, maybe it’s time to give soccer a chance.

Oh no, not the MLS. That league is lousy. Getting into soccer and settling for the MLS would be like getting fired up about baseball and going out to watch the Inland Empire 66ers against the High Desert Mavericks.

No, you want to get into the highest form of soccer imaginable. In the spirit of welcoming Beckham, THN will jump feet first into the World Cup this year and cover it like nobody else.

12 comments:

The Beautiful Game said...

two consecutive posts with soccer in 'em, i'm impressed!

Mike Vick said...

Yo nigga, where my dawgs at?

Anonymous said...

Mike Vick shoulda stuck to Pokemon battles. No one would have cared if his level 72 Pikachu kicked anyone's ass

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

I will admit i watched of the the Victoria Beckham show, just so i could look at her. But ui heard it got , cut down to two episodes. So you won't see much.

Fletch said...

I can't become an MLS fan. I'm too busy following the Tottenham Hotspurs or whatever the f they're called. I'm a big fan, really.

yiddish steel said...

The MLS isn't the upstart scrub league that you think it is. MLS is putting together a better product than the NHL or NBA are these days. The difference is, you can actually watch an MLS regular season game and all 22 on the field are actually playing at above 75% effort level, and the game's outcome actually means something. Hey, Fletch... Are you Jewish?! It's mostly us Jews that like Tottenham, the "Fighting Yids".

Bud Grant said...

Bud Grant can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Fletch said...

Sorry, Yiddish, I'm not a soccer fan. That was a Bill Simmons joke.

Anonymous said...

Hey dumbass, I know you were trying to be cute by making a world cup joke because it's every four years. The joke's on you though because the women's world cup is going to happen this year. I expect to see updates jerkie.

GMoney said...

The Shield got fucking robbed!!! It's like those idiots don't even watch TV. Vic Mackey 4 Life.

Victoria Beckham is so hilariously stupid...I couldn't turn the channel.

DAWUSS said...

Vick kills coaches, not dogs.

Fletch said...

I didn't sleep all weekend. I'm still waiting for those links.