Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Weak Ender



Lindsay Lohan: Raiders Fan. Obvious? Yes, but it’s been a long week.

Funny thing happened on Thursday afternoon. After one pampered female dog had her dream of freedom answered as Paris Hilton was put on house arrest. Another pampered female dog was brought down to Earth as Curt Schilling had his no-hitter denied with two outs in the ninth inning. Schilling's no-hit bid also led to a flurry of mixed emotions. An A's loss directly benefits the Angels, but this is Schilling you are talking about. And in the end, there was probably no other perfect way this thing could have ended up. Other than Mohamed Atta buzzing the mound in a biplane.

Schilling look despondent after the game, let's hope Lindsay was able to hide the knives.

  • Dog fighting is deplorable. But what happens to dogs that aren’t claimed at the humane society? They are put down. So maybe we should congratulate Mike Vick for giving those dogs a fighting chance.
  • Dog fighting and 9/11 jokes, what a way to end the week.
  • How many of Peyton Manning's are likely growing tired of Gomer’s demands of working hard in the offseason? Manning is admirable in trying to win another title. But these are professional athletes we are talking about, and winning a second title doesn't mean as much to most of the guys. And none of them care as much as Manning. Even Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne are starting to defer to the rookies. What are the odds that Manning gets a code red during training camp?
  • Peyton's backup Jim Sorgi has to have the best job in the NFL. How many games a year a year do you think Sorgi shows up drunk for? The over/under is eight.
  • Wow, those NBA Finals are sure exciting. But Michael Jordan lost his first ever NBA Finals game, too. And that, my friends, will be the storyline beaten to death as the NBA marches towards Game 2, coming to you a week from Saturday on ABC.
  • No Amanda Beard pics from Playboy on the net yet? Now that is an outrage.
  • Maybe Bud Selig should have handled the prosecution for the O.J. case. He could have been like, "Hey O.J., why don't you go to the police and just turn yourself in, dude? No? O.k., that's cool, whatever." That’s basically what he is doing with Jason Giambi, as he wants him to testify against himself eight years after the fact. Baseball should just bury this steroid deal and move on. At least we should now that Sarge Jr. is killing the ball.
  • When did the world turn of Alex Rodriguez? And don’t say because he was allegedly cheating on his wife. Like any of you care. But no matter what A-Rod seems to do these days, the jackals of the Internets are there to jump on him. Seriously, if the dude wants to play third base in Los Angeles, er Anaheim, he can play on my team anytime.
  • The Ducks win the Stanley Cup and it gets bumped from sports talk radio in Southern California for Paris Hilton updates. Figures, eh? The NHL just can’t guy a break. That’s what happens when you put broads like Tracy Simers in drive-time morning radio slots.


THE LINKS

  • The Sports Flow predicted the Spurs in 5, well before the Sports Dork.
  • Your Super Regional Preview here. But he predicts the Bruins over Fullerton. Not that THN will be going because none of the regional locations serve booze. But if you want a prediction look for Fullerton, Arizona State and Irvine to all advance.

AND FINALLY

The recruiter for University of Arizona softball team sure does have a thing for blondes, huh? At least Taryne Mowatt looks less, uh, man-ish, than Jennie Finch. The Tennessee coach, on the other hand, seems to go out of its way to attract less active women. The third baseman had a hair style that had not been seen since Julie McCoy wore that perm on the later seasons of Love Boat. So fans of hot chicks playing softball should thank the University of Arizona for helping out the cause.

15 comments:

Sun Devil said...

Those are the hottest women at Tucson Community College. And they have AIDS.

DAWUSS said...

Thanks for the heads-up, Sun Devil. BTW, what about ASU's finest?

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

I thought the NHL (and the Ducks) got a big F-you from ESPN when i watched the first Sportscenter after the game. In the preview montage at the begining of the show, The Ducks and the Stanley Cup weren't even mentioned.

Fletch said...

That Lohan picture is hot. Don't listen to them, Lindsay!

And I can speak from experience - ASU's finest >>> just about anywhere else's finest.

Conrad Bain said...

As Todd Bridges once put it while waving a revolver in Gary Coleman's face, Vick's shit is toast. The Feds raided Vick's property yesterday, upending the crooked local law enforcement like Bud Grant flipping a table at Luxor. Faced with the prospect of a size 32 farthole, Vick will rat fuck everyone involved. Should be fun once the names start coming.

Seitz said...

Taryne could use a little Retin-A. There's something weird going on with that complexion.

The Big Picture said...

mowatt over beard in a heartbeat.

Diane said...

Vick's impending downfall is the best sports news of the week . . .

Greybush said...

Looks like Fullerton's Ashley Van Boxmeer has some competition.

mookie said...

The NHL will always get that from ESPN because ESPN is literally obsessed with baseball.

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

More like ESPN is obsesses with Yankees/Red Sox baseball. If i hear Joe Morgan say "the most storied rivarly in sports." one more time...i swear i will beat him to death with Joe Buck's decapitated head.

DAWUSS said...

Is it training camp yet?

mookie said...

Tommy tuck rule, I 'm guessing you didn't want to use tim mccarver's head because his head is empty?

Sun Devil said...

Watch any baseball tonight, THN?

Blonde said...

Schilling is an ingrown cunt hair. I hate him.

Michael Vick is worse. That motherfucker better suffer and pay for what he has done to those poor innocent animals. I hope to see on one of those "where are they now" shows, that he is blowing japanese business men for crack money someday...

The only thing disappointing about that Lindsay pic is that Vanessa Manillo is using her hand and not her mouth to pull down Lindsay's shirt...THAT would have made my panties moist.