Thursday, May 10, 2007

Tony Parker Rejected

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are abstaining from sex prior to the couple's July nuptials. Funny, most couples abstain from sex following marriage.

But those Hollywood types just have to do it differently. Like Tom Cruise, who has sex with a turkey baster.

The link above notes that Longoria was seen paling around with Jessica Simpson. The two were probably getting pretty chummy back in Simpson's dressing room. And then Eva's hair fell in front of her eyes. Jessica slightly stroked Eva's hair, looking longingly into her eyes.

Oh sorry Tony, did you not want to hear this? Nevermind.

But keep in mind that Eva also was hanging around with Mario Lopez. Yeah, that's the kind of thing you want to think about prior to getting married and your future bride is holding out, because we all know that Lopez takes wedding vowels pretty seriously.

8 comments:

Tony said...

I need to change my shorts

Anonymous said...

Aren't they just doing things the Lord's way?

Tony Dungy said...

Though the book of Leviticus condemns male homos to death, no mention is made of lesbianism. Even in ancient times, men partook in the splendor of girl-on-girl.

yiddish steel said...

Would you be willing to repeat your Wedding Vowels for us, Adam?!

NFL Adam said...

Wait, vowels? What are the really called?

Diane said...

vow - a solemn promise or assertion; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition

Blonde said...

Why would anyone voluntarily abstain from sex??? In my book, then when Tony fucks a skank from the local strip joint at his bachelor party it isn't cheating...

Don't be fooled, Jessica Simpson is sucking the skin off John Mayer's dick daily. Why else would he put up with that toolbox?

DirtDawg said...

My wife pulled the same no-sex crap on me right before we got married.

Hopefully Tony gives her the 'Eiffel Tower' on their honeymoon.