Friday, April 27, 2007

The Weak Ender

Are those what I think they are? Where do you get off having (breasts)?

Obviously Los Angeles Times columnist Mike Penner was a big fan of the Joyce Hyser-vehicle, Just One of the Guys. (And maybe Fletch should speak out on this, but how come Hilary Swank didn’t thank Hyser during her Oscar acceptance speech? But that’s for another time.) One does wonder if Penner was harassed by William Zabka in the cafeteria at the LA Times building. If not Zabka, maybe T.J. Simers running around in a pair of weight lifting gloves.

Not to make fun of Penner, because making an announcement like that takes a lot of balls. Which, incidentally, he is going to get rid of. But still, it is a little startling to pick up the sports section and read about a columnist under going a sex change. That’s more apt for a plot-line in Nip/Tuck, instead of sports page fodder.

ANYBODY FEEL A DRAFT?

Who is going to be the biggest bust in the draft? Wrong, the guy the Raiders draft will be the second biggest bust. Unless, of course, the Raiders select Calvin Johnson. Made a list of receivers who were first-round busts over at the FanHouse. The list isn’t pretty. The top receivers chosen in the draft from 2000-05 include Peter Warrick, David Terrell, Donte Stallworth, Charles Rogers, Larry Fitzgerald and Braylon Edwards. Outside of Fitzgerald, that group has dropped more balls than Mike Penner’s doctor. Drafting a receiver first is more risky than probably any other position. So it only makes sense that the Raiders are probably going to draft Johnson and let him become a brooding, underachiever under the tutelage of Randy Moss and Jerry Porter.

Brady Quinn would make a perfect Raiders quarterback, considering his propensity for losing to his rivals. He would fit in with the Raiders who haven’t beaten an AFC West opponent since Lane Kiffin was in high school. Oh wait, that was last year. But in all seriousness, Quinn gets a bad rap for losing to USC. Troy Aikman lost to USC every year, too, and he ended up doing pretty well. Don’t underestimate the importance of Quinn playing in a pro-style offense for two years.

Chargers running back Michael Turner will likely get dealt during the draft. But what NFL team would want to get fleeced by A.J. Smith again? Yeah, probably the Giants.

  • No truth to the rumor that Penner really wants a spot in the band Poison?
  • Tony Stewart likened NASCAR to professional wrestling. And then Jeff Gordon hit him over the head with a metal folding chair.
  • Is anybody else keeping an eye on the Lakers series in the hopes that Kobe will drop 100 in a game?


THE LINKS

UCR does turn out some good people. Troy Percival is giving back.

Why does Fletch have to hate on Nic Cage?

What fictional sporting event would you want to attend?

The Sports Hernia unveils ESPN's Draft Guru.


AND FINALLY

The Yankees are rushing former Foothill star Phil Hughes up to the Major Leagues. Hey, the Angels evidentially have some pitching they are looking to unload. Not that the Yankees are going to trade Alex Rodriguez following his hot start for the Yankees, but he would be perfect for the Angels. Especially with the hot April starts, considering that the Angels don’t start playing seriously until well into the season.

12 comments:

Marcia C. Smith said...

Trans-gender sports columnist? Pffft. I've been doing it for years.

DAWUSS said...

Transsexual? He must be gay

Will Leitch said...

Links, now? THN, you should probably also use my layouts.

Blonde said...

Nothing wrong having a chick write about sports. I take pride that this chick's tits are real (and spectacular) and I never had cock and balls of my own. But I digress.

I saw Brady Quinn on The Early Show today, and I have to admit that I masturbated to him (even though he was wearing a really bad suit). He is a little hottie...

Gaylord said...

Brady Quinn is as gay as the day is long, and good work with the weak ender, I was cracking up on the sex change jokes

Tony Dungy said...

There are no gay football players.

NFL Adam said...

Thanks Gaylord. I'm already putting the specs together for Just One of the Guys, Too.

Dawuss, you crack me up sometimes. Ditto for Tony Dungy.

Blonde, your tastes in QBs...

And should I tell FWL (Fake Will Leitch) that I got an email from the genuine article, or should I continue to let him make a fool out of himself. Because, and I might be in the minority here, I really, really enjoy his act. He really adds something.

But I really have to commend Marcia C. Smith. That was awesome.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

raiders still have robert gallery? he's been special.

Diane said...

adam - dude, I know nothing . . . I can't believe we've had so much criminal activity beyond the usual riding a bike without lights or a skateboard down the wrong side of the street . . .

NFL Adam said...

Yeah, it was HB Police that had the guy in the car. You know the Sheriff isn't getting out of his car unless he's going into the Harry's for breakfast.

Anne Coulter said...

Is this the site for Transvestite Journalists?

Fletch said...

I thought Hilary Swank was Joyce Hyser. My mistake.