Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Bonds Impending Demise

Let's be honest, all of us (outside of Conrad Bain) want to see Barry Bonds get injured before he breaks the all-time home run record.

No, yes you do.

But how would you like to see it done? One guy on the radio today had one of the best suggestions when he said that he wanted Bonds to get eaten by a shark. That's pretty good, but what other possible ways would you like to see Bonds go down? Personally, it would be great to see a pitcher hit Bonds' plastic armband so hard, that it shatters into a hundred pieces, with the biggest piece lodging into Bonds' lung. Either that, or Bonds finds himself locked in a room where he has to watch The Fan on a continuous loop.

14 comments:

Seung-Hui Cho said...

Walking across the Virginia Tech campus.

Sun Devil said...

Bonds is a dick, but not as big a dick as the guy who commented above me.

Plus, he played for the best college in the history of the universe.

Sorry That was a Bad Joke said...

How about busting a hip going down to take sack from strahan, who charges the field after HR 754. Barry's out for the season, one shy of Aaron's record.

Flash said...

Barry Bonds should be dropped into a pit of 10 boars, armed with one bat and his elbow guard. Eventually they'll get him on his back and eat off his arms. After that, he'd be lowered into a vat of boiling flaxseed oil at the rate of about an inch per hour. When he's about hip deep, I would arrive with rocks and Hank Aaron and would randomly stone and mock him until his life force completely drained away...

then i'd flee to mexico.

Flash said...

oh wait, you said injured. Can't we just call Jeff Gillooly and call it a day?

Tony Dungy said...

Admin, the comment above isn't me. Please wreak the false Dungy assunder.

Sucks, because I had a good comment for this one.

yiddish steel said...

Can we instead focus the spotliight on the greatness of Bobby Bonds?!

Ichiro said...

Bonds is playing in Frisco, close to the title, and then Godzilla emerges from the SF Bay walks into Pac Bell/ATT/Tin Can on a String Park and eats Bonds right at home plate.

MLB Jennifer said...

This picture looks like Bonds regrets the man loving he just got from that trainer and feels a little ashamed that he enjoyed it so.

O.J. Simpson said...

Too easy .

lumps said...

what I don't understand is why doesn't some flamethrowing left-hander throw a fastball right at Bond's dome. I mean the guy is practically standing on the inside of the plate. I would love to see the Big Unit throw a fastball that explodes into Barrah's head and Barrah is forced to retire ala Dickie Thon.

Fletch said...

Henry Aaron should hire "Machete" to track and kill him, while also bedding his wife and mother simultaneously.

NFL Adam said...

We actually had to crop Sun Devil out of this photo, if you know what I mean.

Anonymous said...

I like the idea Lumps had of a fast pitcher blasting his pumpkin head. But it then explodes like the guy in Alien, and all that is left is a giant needle IV'ing droids directly into his neck.

There is no good reason why he should live, much less to challenge a great record. None.