Thursday, March 08, 2007

Case Closed

O.J. Simpson was in the news for making jokes about possibly being the father of Anna Nicole's baby.

Hysterical, O.J.

Maybe the Juice should stay quiet about this one, though. Consider, a blonde acquaintance died suspiciously in the same state where O.J. resides. Does he really want to draw attention to himself here? Some intrepid detective is finally going to put the two together and question Simpson about his whereabouts the day Anna Nicole died. And hey, Nicole Brown and Anna Nicole? O.J. had better hope that somebody saw him practicing his golf swing that day, because he's bound to get convicted for murder one of these days.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thought you were the father. No?

Signal to Noise said...

If semen moves that slowly, hell, anyone who wanked to that woman's pictures in Playboy or on Skinemax softcore could be the daddy.

Anonymous said...

Come on THN, there are better stories to joke about. Just copy other blogs like you always do.

Kordell said...

I am the father.

Luke Skywalker said...

That's impossible!

Conrad Bain said...

It's funny, but just a couple years ago Anna weighed about 400 bills and looked like a pile of shit. You could've hid a super model under each of her arms. Her only remaining fuck appeal was as a plumper.

Strange how nobody is running any of those pics. Not really. It'd be kind of hard to milk the ratings if people were reminded what a hosebag she was before she found stomach staples and heroin.

That'd be as ridiculous Maxim running wank shots of Britney now that we all know she looks like Colonel Kurtz.

Diane said...

I'm not sure if the earth is spinning slightly off its axis, but I agree with Conrad Bain

NFL Adam said...

Wasn't Anna Nicole like 600 pounds when she was doing her reality show? Not that, you know, I ever watched or anything.

CB said...

She was huge. Her trailer park genetics had finally caught up with her and she was too fucked up to fight them, so she ballooned. But nobody is running any of that footage.

She was smart to get stapled and take up heroin before she croaked. No one would've cared about her if she'd died in her natural obese state.

NFL Adam said...

So instead of the Trim Spa tagline of "like my body" it should be changed to "like my corpse."