Friday, February 02, 2007

The Weak Ender

The Super Bowl addition.

But first, Cowgirl will be touring the country’s top colleges advocating breast augmentation and showing up to college football games in bikini tops. And God bless her for doing the Lord's work. SI has scheduled her first stop at Wichita State.

Home of the Shockers.

Seriously, does somebody want to put THN out of work? Leave the jokes to us people, although this is the funniest thing ever done by SI (excluding Pete King's unintentional comedy).

And a big thanks to Sam Rubenstein for reading Cowgirl's weekly column so nobody else has to. (Even though he claims it was just accidental.) Sadly, Cowgirl did not leave her Super Bowl pick.

A quick thought before jumping into the Super Bowl nonsense. What do you suppose the WNBA will do to commemorate the loss of it's own, Barbaro?

Maybe a patch with a silhouette of Rebecca Lobo? Too bad Barb's couldn't stud a mare to one day lead the WNBA to higher plateaus. Moving on…


The Super Bowl has trended towards the defense in recent years. Remember those high-flying St. Louis Super Bowl teams? They scorched NFL defenses for an entire regular season, but were pretty ordinary during the playoffs and Super Bowl. (Remember the 1999 NFC Championship Game?) The Bears defense could be a big problem for the Colts who really struggled in the first half of the AFC Championship Game, and against Kansas City and Raven. The Bears defense could keep this game close enough for Cedric Benson/Thomas Jones to make a big run, or maybe Devin Hester makes a big play on special teams help the Bears edge out a close win.


The Colts run defense is no mirage in the postseason, having shut down Larry Johnson, Jamal Lewis and having forced New England to abandon the run all together, even though they were leading by 18 points. The Colts are aggressive on first down forcing teams into second-and-long situations that plays into the hands of defensive ends Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis. That means that Rex Grossman is going to be forced to make some plays. Isn't this all you can ask for if you are an NFL coach? That's not a shot at Rex, but the Bears need to run to be successful. And on offense, the Colts coaches deserve a lot of credit for finding a way to phase Gomer out of the offense so he can't go out and lose the game for them. Turing Gomer from a quarterback to a "game manager" like Ben Roethlisberger last year as been the best coaching job in NFL history.

Here are some other factors to consider to make an educated decision.

  • The Colts really struggled against the Cowboys aggressive defense this year. Remember Dallas handed the Colts their first loss of the season. If the Bears can duplicate the things that the Cowboys did on defense, they really have a chance.
  • A black coach has never won a Super Bowl.
  • The NFL has tabbed Tony Corrente to bet the referee for the Super Bowl. Corrente's crew called more penalties than any other –242 for 1,590 yards. The crew led the NFL in defensive holding (15). The Bears defense is just screwed if this holds up. Nice job NFL, who are you rooting for in this one?
  • God hates the Bears. But ever since the NFL sent a cease-and desist letter to a church in Indianapolis forbidding them to charging for a pot luck during the game, God might be pulling for the Bears. (Although Churches shouldn't be looking to profit off the NFL’s product.
  • Tony Dungy is 4-1 following a bye week during his tenure in Indianapolis. Lovie Smith is 1-2. This is significant because back when a Super Bowl blowout was the norm, the two-week break often was credited for this. And it appears that Smith does not know how to handle that additional week off. But at least the Bears probably weren't tempted to party in South Beach.
  • People make a lot of the Colts choking, but the Bears have folded in the playoffs rather famously, too. The only difference is that many didn’t have a famous quarterback to blame it on.


It's time to pick a winner. And really, is there anything as inevitable as Gomer walking off the field as a Super Bowl champion? There is no way around it. The only problem is the negative image it sends when people relying on hard work instead of trying to skate by on their talent win the big game. This is America, damn it. Cowgirl did not become an overnight sensation by working hard. So for everything sacred in this country, Rex Grossman needs to win this.

Just can't see it: Colts 34, Bears 21.


Zach Landres-Schnur said...

rebecca lobo and barbaro?!?! brilliant. Steve Rushin would be pissed.

DAWUSS said...

What I found weird was that the other day, Subway did a "Go Colts" ad (I'll say there is a 99% chance that was seen only in Indianapolis), followed by their Jared Fogle-Michael Strahan ad. WTF?

Anyway, Ed Hochuli needed to officiate this game.

And is Cowgirl going to be seen at Super Bowl XLI?

Diane said...

I wish I could pretend to care about this game, but I have to admit, this is the least interesting Super Bowl that I can remember

Anonymous said...

The only difference is that [the Bears] didn’t have a famous quarterback to blame it on.

What about "that perky QB known as McMahon"? I would say that dude's relatively famous

Eli Manning said...

I'm going to win Super Bowl XLII, and since the game is going to be on FOX, Joe Buck should be calling the game, and I can count on him to give me many plugs throughout the game.

NFL Adam said...

I meant choking in recent years. Last season and their other 13-3 season a few years back.

The Bears in the 1980s lost because McMahon was always hurt.

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

You mean there is a Super Bowl less interesting than the Giants vs Ravens Super Bowl.

Eddie Guns can't do the Super Bowl. He had to go to Barbaro's funeral. You know, to pay respect one STUD to another.

Anonymous said...


Mini Me said...

I'll take the Bears pulling it out in an upset!