Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Poor Eli

Hopefully a win in the Super Bowl will allow Gomer Manning to finally come out of his shell and share with us (the common folks) some of his favorite products. For instance, does Manning use any phone service? Does he enjoy television? And really, is Manning kind of a cash guy or does he use a credit card? Because who would know these things. You just have to hope that winning the Super Bowl won't turn Manning into an over-exposed media whore looking to cash in a few paychecks pitching products at a rate that Bill Cosby would blush at.

But what does this Super Bowl mean to poor Eli Messiah, who had to watch the game in person on Sunday? And yeah, the dude is Peyton's brother. But the guy is still an NFL quarterback. You can't believe that he wanted to be at the game. (He wanted to be rocking Living on a Prayer.) His dad probably strong-armed him to going to the game, just like he did to the San Diego Chargers on draft day. And to make matters worse, Archie started rubbing it in Eli's face saying that he will learn how to win through osmosis of his older brother.

"Our family is elated," Archie said. "It's a situation where Eli, like Rex, got to experience and see what it's like to win a Super Bowl."

Yeah, because Eli won't win one on his own. But now Peyton has even started to stick it to his little brother, too.

"I think Eli is going to be fine," Peyton said at his MVP news conference. "There is no doubt in my mind he is a quarterback who will lead his team to a Super Bowl, probably more than one. I know how hard he works."

You can just sense the sincerity, eh? Almost like Peyton is trying to convince a girl to take his brother to the prom because he has a good personality. Man, it has been said in this space before, but Cooper is the luckiest guy in the family. Eli is either going to retire early, or he is going to snap and pull a Gillooley on his brother. How many times can you hear, "Why can't you be more like your brother?" before you finally lose it?

5 comments:

Diane said...

As I was trying to get out of my friend's living room as soon as possible after the game to avoid hearing any post game commentary, I was momentarily delayed by fresh chocolate chip cookies coming out of the oven and caught Boomer Esiason saying that Gomer now has to be considered one of the all time greats, though I'm guessing Marino disagreed

DAWUSS said...

If Eli wants to be like his brother, he'll start shooting lotsa commercials this offseason...

Anonymous said...

No one's mentioned J.J. Manning recently...

lumps said...

I was still waiting for the camera to pan to the cemetary as some great minds were discussing at the Vegas Club. Somehow I must have missed it.

I still think NFL Jen would have kicked that old drunk chic's arse!

NFL Adam said...

I actually have a J.J. Manning update coming up.