Friday, January 26, 2007

The Weak Ender

Fear not Bridget Moynahan fans. Many have feared that the young actress is rapidly losing weight to compete with Gisele, who has been romantically linked to her ex, Tom Brady. But Moynahan's publicist put an end to the rumors.

“Bridget is fine. She’s just started a new workout regimen with a couple of her buddies, Lindsey Lohan and Mary Kate Olsen. (Or was it Ashley who was the fattie that had to lose all of that weight). So there is no cause for alarm.”

And let that be a lesson to you ladies out there. If you ever lose your man to a Brazilian supermodel with curves, make sure you spend extra time in the gym to get that broomstick-like body working.

Now it is time to move on to something we like to refer to as the worst sports week of the year. Just enough Super Bowl hype to make you wish it was this week. Not quite enough to make you forget that the NBA All-Star came is approaching. But we were able to overlook the NHL all-star game on Wednesday.

  • Looks like Jerry Jones is trying to be a rich man’s version of Al Davis. Jones has obviously taken a page from Davis by hiring an offensive coordinator (Jason Garrett) before a head coach. But where Jones loses points is that Garrett actually has some valuable NFL coaching experience. That’s not the way the Raiders roll. But what kind of offense would Garrett call for seeing that he doesn’t have Alvin Harper to lob the ball to. Hmm, sounds like he should be the offensive coordinator for Eli Messiah.


  • Speaking of Lane Kiffin, his name around the USC campus? Coach Lunch Money. And now that is how he will be known forever in these parts.


  • Remember that bogus interference call against Ellis Hobbs in the AFC Championship Game? Yeah, the NFL has finally admitted that the refs made a mistake. (This kind of thing wouldn't happen if Ed Hochuli was still alive. (Unfortunately, he was in the car with Terry Bradshaw when he died.)


  • Hey guess what, the NFL hates tailgating at the Super Bowl. Michael David Smith makes the point that the Super Bowl is a little different. But what he failed to mention is that the NFL takes up about half of the parking lot for its own tailgate party for the big wigs and staffers. So the NFL does like tailgate parties, it just doesn’t like you to tailgate.


  • Hey, Terry Bradshaw and Eddie Guns are still alive. Stupid Internets and their rumor mongering.


AND FINALLY


Congratulations to Angels third baseman Dallas McPherson who had successful back surgery and will likely be out of action for at least six months. Meanwhile, Troy Glaus is taking up juggling because his shoulder feels so great. But the news gets ever better. Darin Erstad signed with the White Sox to be a back up. Erstad has obviously lost a step over the years, but he couldn’t be a valuable back up for the Angels? Especially since the first base job is wide open and Gary Matthews Jr. is sure to flame out.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think the weak ender needs nudity.

We've got Bish! er Bush!

DAWUSS said...

Nudity? Depends on who, IMO



BTW, is Ed Hochuli going to officiate in the Super Bowl?

Diane said...

It is inevitable that the Angels will suck - 2002 was an aberration unlikely to be repeated - Vladdy will be wasted with the Halos, but eventually will fill a need for another team and win a championship on the down side of his career.

And the first time Physioc waxes on about Kotchman and McPherson and all the great players in the Angels' farm system, I will personally hunt him down and strangle him w/ his mike cord

NFL Adam said...

2002 was a cosmic accident, for sure.

Vinovich was doing a basketball game at Fullerton on Thursday night, but never got close enough to ask him who was doing the game. It had better be Eddie Guns.

Ted Striker said...

I asked Bill if he (Vinovich) was doing the SB, and he said no. I asked if it was Hochuli, and he also said no. So could it be a swerve? Who knows.

I also asked "It's not Jim Syupin, is it?" Billy got a nice chuckle/laugh out of that.

Ted Striker said...

Dammit...

STUPIN! Farking keyboards....

Jeff Garcia said...

Actually, Tom left Bridgette because he heard she was gay.

Will Leitch said...

I cover sports. You stole this from Deadspin.

Kordell Stewart said...

Actually, Tom left Bridgette because he heard she was gay.

I feel Tom's pain. I was dating a super hot hottie and one day she asked me if I would like to have sex with her and her friend. I told both of the homos to put on their clothes and leave my apartment immediately.

Mini Me said...

Well you can compare Al Davis to Jerry Jones, but I bet Jason Garrett is a good public speaker...