Monday, January 08, 2007

The Post Mortem

"I don't want to throw anybody under the bus."

Has there been a more over-used phrase in American sports over the past couple of years? Because invariably, the person that utters that phrase does just that. Like Peyton Manning last year, who didn’t want to be a bad teammate and throw anybody under the bus, and then he blamed the offensive line for his struggles.

The latest is Nick Saban who, when asked what went wrong in Miami said, "I don’t know how to say this because I don’t want to throw anybody under the bus. [But] when you look at the teams that have really good personnel people, that are doing what the coaches want them to do, finding the kind of players the coaches want them to find."

Right, Nick. And who was the guy who signed Daunte Culpepper instead of Drew Brees? Enjoy college life, it is better suited for you seeing that you aren’t cut out for the NFL.

But, in the spirit of Saban, let’s throw some people under the bus for their performances over the weekend.

  • The Kansas City Chiefs offensive line. Way to make the Colts rush defense seem competent. Larry Johnson was stuffed on the first two plays of the game, setting the tone for the Chiefs offensive woes. Just pathetic runs. Now, some might reason that you should have tried to mix it up in the beginning, seeing that everybody in the world was expecting run. That thinking is run. That is the kind of thinking that ruined New England in Super Bowl XX, who got scared away from the Bears run defense. The calls were solid, the Chiefs just couldn't execute.
  • The Cowboys special teams coach. There was a reason why the Cowboys had Jay Novacek and Eric Bjornson as holders during the 1990s. Having a receiver back there to catch the ball just makes sense.
  • Tony Romo. Dude, seriously, you still need to catch that ball. There is no excuse.
  • Jets secondary. Jabar Gaffney lit you up. Yes, the same Gaffney that the Eagles didn't want.
  • Eli Messiah. Oh sure, you might look at the numbers and think, Eli didn't play so bad. And what about leading his team to the tying score? Yeah, that's great. But the Giants started three first-quarter drives from around midfield and did not score a single point. The Giants should have put this game away early, instead they are done.
  • Joe Buck. Dude, it's Tiki Barber's last game and nobody cares. Barber might be one of the nicest guys in the league, but most of America has turned on him because you have shoved him down our throats. Kind of sucks for Tiki. BTW, everybody realizes that Brian Westbrook was much better than Barber on Sunday, right?
  • Bobby Petrino. Maybe we shouldn't hate him for taking the money because really, who can blame him? But after watching so many college coaches flame out, expect to see him back in the college game in three years. Especially since he comes from the Tom Coughlin coaching tree. Oh, and enjoy Mike Vick in the meantime.
  • Tom Coughlin. His offense makes stupid penalties, the quarterback makes dreadful decisions. Maybe it’s time to take a little bit of the heat. Trying to "talk about the positives" in a season where you finish 8-9 is just foolish. You lost (female dog) because you can't coach.
  • Joe Paterno in Drag. Single-handedly trying to take down THN. Many have tried, all have failed.
  • Jamarcus Russell. Dude, you are going to get drafted by the Raiders. Dumb ass.


COLT WIN

Anybody else notice the the Colts turned Peyton Manning into Trent Dilfer on Saturday? Maybe Tony Dungy has the right idea treating Manning the same way that Lovie Smith treats Rex Grossman. Try to limit Manning’s mistakes, or at least don’t let his mistakes hurt the team too bad. Manning had a Manning-like playoff performance with three interceptions, but the Chiefs just couldn’t move the ball.

WE GET IT, MARTY CHOKES

Get ready for a week of hearing about the playoff failures of Marty Schottenheimer. That's fair. Schottenheimer has won a lot of games without winning the big one. But take a look at the recent Super Bowl winning coaches. Bill Cowher lost three AFC Championship Games at home. Bill Belichick got fired in Cleveland. Jon Gruden could never win the big game in Oakland, losing one AFC Championship Game at home and the "tuck rule" game. Maybe history is on the side of the Chargers.

  • Do the Chiefs require all quarterbacks to have grey hair? And to those of you who feel that Damon Huard would have made a difference, get over yourself. Green didn't have a chance to get comfortable because they couldn’t run the football. Not many quarterbacks would have helped the Chiefs, not in the least being Huard. Besides, the Chiefs receivers had a number of drops. If you wanted to make a change, you should have put Ty Law at receiver.
  • The Romo play was horrible. But really, will anybody care in a month? The Cowboys, despite a great stretch during November, were not a threat to win the Super Bowl. But you know who is the happiest guy that he dropped the ball? Martin Gramatica, because you just could feel that missed field goal was coming.
  • The new Coors Light commercials with Jim Mora are genius. Absolutely genius.
  • But where was Eddie Guns this weekend?



AND FINALLY
Has Ohio State taken a hit in everybody eye’s seeing that USC dismantled Michigan? Kind of, huh? Like maybe the Gators will keep it within two touchdowns or something?

Actually, with everybody dumping on Florida and because of the Reggie Nelson story, it just seems that the Gators will come through. And remember that six of the last eight BCS championship games have been won by the underdog.

13 comments:

Seitz said...

Tiki Barber : Joe Buck :: Bo Jackson : Dick Schaap. Except that both Jackson and Schaap were really really good at their jobs

Sun Devil said...

Good call on the Coors Light commercial.

DAWUSS said...

(expletive) the Colts

Chris said...

If you're going to go with history in terms of the BCS championship game with underdogs winning 6 of the last eight, just remember the even more dominant history, a one-loss team has never beaten an undefeated team in the BCS championship game. The only thing that can stop the Buckeyes is the Heisman curse, which only Matt Leinart and Barry Sanders have ever been able to escape in their bowl games.

DAWUSS said...

The only thing that can stop the Buckeyes is the Heisman curse, which only Matt Leinart and Barry Sanders have ever been able to escape in their bowl games.



^^^

Yeah because when Leinart played, the guy on the other sideline was also a Heisman winner. Either way, a Heisman winner would also win a NC

Conrad Bain said...

Well, but Marty Schottenheimer is a choker. You say the joke is old, Hater, but anyone who knows your philosophy on streaks knows that, as a Chargers fan, you are just a bit troubled.

Now, if I was a Charger fan, Shitthebedenheimer would be the least of my worries. The real question everyone is waiting to see answered this week: Is Phillip Rivers up to it?

Anonymous said...

Brady and Belichick make sure the Schottenheimer Curse lives on!

Chris said...

dawuss,
Heisman winner can win the national title, Charlie Ward did it at Florida St., but he played like crap in the Orange Bowl against Nebraska to do it. The Heisman curse just means that Smith may play poorly enough for Florida to have a chance.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

if terry glenn was the place holder, same shit woulda happened.

Anonymous said...

So is Tom Coughlin also going to complain that the media has covered his guys painting schools?

Political.Asylum said...

You people REALLY should visit the Sarcastic Idiocy Forum, where every day is a virtual lovefest in hating the sowboys.

http://www.thesif.net/SIF/index.php?act=SF&s=&f=2

Seitz said...

Ward also needed a bunch of hypocritical sportswriters who hate Notre Dame on his side to win the NC. Not that I'm a big ND guy, but they got screwed that year.

field negro said...

Hey, what the f**k happened to Aaaron Brooks? And I am watching the championship game now, and damn those Gators are fast!