Monday, January 08, 2007

Lil' Hater's Breaking News

Hey, I think I might have a breaking news story for THN. According to my contacts -- and this is very speculative -- I've heard that Tiki Barber might be retiring. Really! You may want to check into that, 'cause I haven't seen the news anywhere else yet.

Joe Buck in the first quarter: "I don't think the average football fan realizes how good the Eagles were doing when McNabb was lost for the season." Hey, you condescending a-hole, they were 5-5 after they lost to the Titans the week he went down. Shut the f up, jerk.

At that point, I made a futile attempt to figure out the "SAP" button on the
TV remote. No luck getting the Spanish-language broadcast of the game, though. Crap. Then I spent 15 minutes trying to find a radio station broadcasting the game. No luck there, either, due to lousy reception. So I watched the game for the next 2 hours with the sound muted. Much, much better.

I mistakenly turned the sound back on late in the game, just to hear Joe use the words "Hall of Fame career" and "Tiki Barber" at least three times in a five-minute period. Evidently, because he had three statistically good years in a row, in a period in which his team won a grand total of zero playoff games, that's enough for enshrinement into Canton now, according to Buck's logic.

I'm sure Christian Okoye, Jamaal Anderson, Stephen Davis, Ricky Watters, Charlie Garner, Terry Allen, Ahman Green, and Robert Smith -- all of whom were just as good, if not better than Barber in their prime -- are all excited about the new, less-stringent guidelines, and are all looking to sign those feel-good one-day contracts with NY, to retire as a Giant, just to make sure they get the HOF call.


NFL Adam said...

This last paragraph/point lil hater just made might be the single best point ever on THN. Perfect examples, can we send that to every analyst and broadcaster out there.

West Side Slant said...

Is there any truth to the rumor that Tiki will be joining the Fox pre-game show, and will actually be sitting on Joe Buck's lap?