Monday, January 29, 2007

Itching Questions

Itching Questions about the Super Bowl.

1. What stopped the Cowboys Leon Lett from scoring a touchdown in Super Bowl XXVII?

a.) The determination of Don Beebe.
b.) The ghosts of the Bills previous Super Bowl loses.
c.) A lack of breakaway of speed.
d.) Mustard dripping off the hot dog.
Answer: (a) There was actually a funny SNL skit (hard to believe, huh?) when one of the cast members accused Beebe of trying to keep a brother down.

2. Which of these Super Bowl quarterbacks did not earn a dubious distinction by throwing 4 interceptions in one game.

a.) Craig Morton
b.) Drew Bledsoe
c.) Kerry Colllins
d.) Tony Eason
Answer: (d)Eason earned his dubious distinction by failing to complete a pass, the only Super Bowl starter to do that.

3. Who was the most unlikely one-game wonder in Super Bowl history?
a.) Percy Howard
b.) Timmy Smith
c.) Jack Squirek
d.) The “Wazzzzzzzzzup” Guys.
Answer: Any of the above. But if you said the Wazzzzzzzup Guys, bless you.

4. What was the most intriguing Super Bowl accessory?
a.) Jim McMahon's headband.
b.) Joe Namath's mink coat.
c.) Jimmy Johnson's hair spray
d.) Thurman Thomas’s helmet.
Answer: (a) Speculation on what would be printed on McMahon's headband was more compelling than than the Bears’ Super Bowl XX opponents, the New England Patriots.

5. Who ranks as the best Suepr Bowl party coordinator?
a.) Max McGee
b.) Jim McMahon
c.) John Matuszak
d.) Barret Robins
Answer: (a) If you think you are too hungover for work, consider McGee who caught 2 touchdowns and totaled 185 yards in Super Bowl I, despite not sleeping the previous night. Let him be a hallmark for all boozers trying to get through work with a hangover.

6. Who made the most memorable Super Bowl grab?
a.) John Stallworth, Steelers (Super Bowl XIII)
b.) Lynn Swann, Steelers (Super Bowl X)
c.) John Taylor, 49ers (Super Bowl XXIII)
d.) Michael Jackson, halftime show (Super Bowl XXVII)
e.) Justin Timberlake, halftime show (Super Bowl XXXVIII)
Answer: (d) This was the last time that Jackson would be able to perform with thousands of children. In public, at least.

7. What was the best Super Bowl nickname for a losing team?
a.) Killer B’s (Dolphins)
b.) Three Amigos (Broncos)
c.) Purple People Eaters (Vikings)
d.) Bills
Answer: (d)

8. What was the worst green in the history of the Super Bowl?
a.) The Seahawks uniform
b.) The amount of money that the winning team made from Super Bowl I.
c.) The amount of money lost betting the Panthers on the money line.
d.) The contents of Donovan McNabb's stomach.
Answer: (d)

9. Which player holds the all-time Super Bowl scoring record?
a.) Emmitt Smith
b.) Jerry Rice
c.) Franco Harris
d.) Eugene Robinson
Answer: (d)

10. Who did Georgia Frontandrearie thank following his victory in Super Bowl XXXIV?
a.) Kurt Warner
b.) Dick Vermeil
c.) Jesus
d.) The dudes who drowned Carroll Rosenbloom
Answer: (a) Because d would be just too obvious.


Zach Landres-Schnur said...

i hear barrett robins throws a decent party too, if he knows he's actually throwing it.

Seitz said...

On behalf of Bills everywhere, I have to say that Bills is probably the most offensive nickname in sports. Do you know how embarrassing it was to be named Bill in the early '90s? Rooting for the Angels, Kings, and Broncos at that time didn't help any either.

NFL Adam said...

You guys have been through so much.

Seitz said...

You don't know the half of it.