Friday, December 29, 2006

The Weak Ender



Everybody should have seen this coming. Barry Zito once dated Alyssa Milano who starred in the show Charmed, based in San Francisco. So it is only natural that Zito is now a member of the San Francisco Giants.

Damn, it was so obvious.

(And yes, if this wasn't the biggest stretch to get a hot chick to headline the Weak Ender, it certainly is close.)

JASON TAYLOR IS A FEMALE DOG

Jason Taylor has certainly gone into full whine mode when it comes to Shawne Merriman. Taylor doesn't believe that Merriman should be considered for defensive player of the year because of his steroid violation. That is sends a bad message to younger kids about the dangers of steroids.

Oh shut your trap, Taylor. Merriman served his punishment already. Having him pay for his mistake twice would send a bad message to kids. Right? Merriman missed four games (and four paychecks) if he is voted defensive POY or the Pro Bowl, he deserves.

But don't worry, Merriman got over on Taylor as he sent him a "Lights Out" hat and cap, and a bag of popcorn so he could watch the Chargers in the playoffs.

Do the kids still say, "Owned?"

WARNER TIME

Kurt Warner will start for the Birds this week against the Chargers. Warner told reporters this week that he will return next season to back up Matt Leinart. And that's good news. The number of people who believe that Warner could still be a viable quarterbacks is a short list that only includes Warner, Brenda Warner, Dick Vermeil and THN.

Although, Brenda is starting to hedge her bets.

Warner could still be a quarterback in this league. Imagine Warner playing for a competent team like, say, Chicago. He might not be what he was for the St. Louis football team in 1999, but the Bears would be in a much better position with Warner. In fact, the Bears should seriously consider Warner during the offseason. They need a veteran who can win in the short term. The window of opportunity is going to close really soon in Chicago and they need to make a move while they can.

  • Leonard Little said that he was a little upset that he didn't make it to the Pro Bowl. He said it kind of ruined his Christmas not to be recognized. You know who else's Christmas was ruined? The family of the woman he killed in 1999. The women's two children spent another Christmas without their mother, but you can imagine they likely had a lot of empathy for Little and his loss. Where is Jason Taylor’s outrage on this subject?

    And you might want to reason that Little shouldn't pay for his crime twice. And you would be right, if he actually, you know, paid for it the first time.


  • Lil' Hater is reporting that during the Cowboys and Eagles game, Jeff Garcia yelled, "Who's the (European cigarette) now, T.O.?" as the receiver short-armed another pass down the sideline. Please let that story be true.


  • Looking back at the NFL Network, we owe them a debt of gratitude for taking one of the worst games of the week and hiding on a network that nobody has. Maybe the Giants can have all of their games television on NFL Network next year. Is there any way to make this happen? Fourteen of the Giants 16 games were shown here in Southern California. Even with the Giants meltdown this season and Eli Messiah regressing into Rick Mirer, that is still too many games.


  • The Panthers are not going to make us believe that they can win this week. Totally not.


  • Despite what Pittsburgh did last season, there is no way to get fired up for the remaining ham-and-eggers struggling to reach the .500 mark and make the playoffs. Did you see the list of scenarios the Packers need to make it to the playoffs? They need a win and a strength of victory that would require that Arizona, Detroit, Miami, Minnesota and San Francisco all win and Carolina, Houston and Tampa Bay all lose. The Giants qualify as long as Joe Buck mentions Tiki Barber and the phrase "glorious career" at least six times. Alright, that last part was made up, though it sounded the most reasonable.


  • Congratulations to the Pac-10 for finally winning a bowl game this season. Maybe one of these days they can match the bowl record of the WAC and Mountain West conference. And really, if you had to take your pick on the one Pac-10 coach that was going to win its bowl, Jeff Tedford would be far, far, down the list. This will likely be the only win the Pac-10 gets into the bowl games.


  • Does something in the world of college basketball seem right to you today? It should because UNLV matters again. This really needed to happen.


  • Take the Panthers and the points.



AND FINALLY
Here is some career advice for Nick Saban: Take the Alabama job. Being over-hyped and failing to reach expectations would make you a perfect fit for the Crimson Tide. You clearly aren't cut out for the NFL game. And while you are at it, take Dennis Green with you. Have you noticed that Miami and Arizona have torn up the league once they started 1-5? Peter King has already penned in Miami and Arizona for Super Bowl 42.

16 comments:

benny said...

I have not been a Leonard Little fan since he killed that woman. Even worse was when he got pulled over for drinking and driving after that!! Bastard.

Man I hope Jeff Garcia really said that. Dallas is certainly getting what they paid for when they got TO right about now.

Have a Happy New Year Adam!

bucky said...

Did you see the list of scenarios the Packers need to make it to the playoffs? They need a win and a strength of victory that would require that Arizona, Detroit, Miami, Minnesota and San Francisco all win and Carolina, Houston and Tampa Bay all lose.

This is incorrect. For the Packers to make the playoffs, they need the following:

1. Beat the Bears (not altogether likely, but the Bears have been pretty ordinary lately, and will probably not keep everyone in until the final gun).

AND

2. The Giants lose to the Redskins (can the Gmen beat anyone these days?)

AND

3. One of the following:

a. Carolina beats New Orleans

or

b. Atlanta beats Philadelphia

or

c. Minnesota beats St. Louis.

I think there's a far better chance of one of these last conditions precedent occurring than both of the first two requirements happening. There are other scenarios as well, including the strength of schedule thing you describe which is as likely as me becoming the next Supreme Court justice.

But really, isn't the bottom line here simply this: There is something seriously wrong with the NFC if the Packers are in the playoffs this season. I love the Packers (the strength of that love will be tested by my wife on our anniversary Sunday), but the current team has no business in the postseason.

bucky said...

And oh yeah, one more thing:

Do you really need an excuse to post a photo of Alyssa Milan?

NFL Adam said...

Good point. The playoff scenarios came from Sportsline that said that if the Packers and Giants win, the Packer gets the strength of victory if all of those things happen. Yes, it's a long shot.

And happy anniversary.

Conrad Bain said...

The "Lights Out" hat is funny. The only thing that would make it funnier is if LT blew an ACL this Sunday.

Bill Romonowski said...

Yeah LT busting his knee would be great. We all know the Bolts are like Peyton Manning, and will never win the big game and LT has the season of a lifetime. He tears the ACL and goes on to be an ordianry superstar back and stil smashes records. Sounds good to me. Dennis Green should declare open season on LTs knees.

Conrad Bain said...

Hey meathead, put your thumbs away for a second and consider something. What if the Chargers don't win it? Inconceivable, I know, but humor me. What if something bad were to happen to the Chargers on the way to collect their trophy? What do you suppose Merriman would feel like then, in light of his funny hat trick?

I think he'd feel like one stupid motherfucker, is what I think.

Conrad Bain said...

btw, Paul Hornungs' 176-point record was set in 1960 during a 12-game schedule. LT needed 14 games of a 16 game schedule to "shatter" it. Great as LT is, he should ask that there be an asterisk next to his "record."

NFL Adam said...

Eighty-six of Hornung's points came from extra points and field goals. Does that make his record more or less impressive?

Bill Romonowski said...

It is less impressive. In fact, i spit on Paul Hornung's record.

CB said...

Good point, Adam. I don't think it makes Hornung's record less impressive, but I wonder if what he did and what LT did are truly comparable. LT's achievement is amazing, but with so many variables that don't match up, should it wipe Hornung's record off the books?

insomniac said...

I agree that Jason Taylor comes off as desperate w/ his Merriman comments. On the flip side, I find it utterly repugnant that Shawne millionaire sells "Lights Out" hats on his website for 22 bux. I sure hope he is getting undercut by 2 dollar knockoffs in TJ.

So I think the only remaining choice for defensive player of the year is Terrell Owens. Has anyone broken up more potentially gamebreaking TDs than he has?

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

I don't think those comments are desparate at all. They are dead on, how can you VOTE someone as DPOTY after being suspended for steroids when you have a player like Taylor that has a year that is just as good or even better. I like Merriman and people make mistakes but he should't get the award. Plus which team makes the most impact with or without the player. The bolts really didn't miss Merriman for four games. I think the Dolphins would miss Taylor.

NFL Adam said...

Hornung's mark should be remembered. The NFL seems to hate its history. That's why TV pundits get away with saying that Jerry Rice was the greatest receiver ever without ever mentioning Don Hutson.

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

It was remembered. Two weeks ago when LT broke it, it was remembered. What, should they trot him out, like they do with MLB players? I hate that. I love the history of the NFL and Hornung's Packers of that era were amazing. It was a great record , but was broken in a more diffulcult mannare, all Touchdowns. With field goals and extra pooints he had more opportunites to score.

Diane said...

Updating the record books isn't the same thing as wishing Hornung into the corn field - he and his many accomplishments will still be remembered