Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan have split up. Bad news for Brady, great news for Michael Strahan. Look for Strahan to seek a trade to New England in the offseason and switch to center.
Just kidding. He wants to be Brady's tight end.
RAIDERS VS. ST. LOUIS FOOTBALL TEAM
There is nothing nearly as satisfying as having these two teams being the worst in the NFL. Some might think that a Chargers Super Bowl would be the perfect season. Nope, having the Raiders and St. Louis football team finish one-two in the 2007 NFL Draft order would be a thing of beauty. Unfortunately, that is not possible this season. But it is close.
The obvious question, in a situation like this, is "who do you root for?" Our man Grant M. gave us that answer in 2004:
"If the Rams play the Raiders, you cheer for the Blimp to crash into the stadium, enveloping the players, coaches, and fans in a horrific fireball. You also hope that Georgia Frontandrearie dies last, her lungs filling with puss as her withered, charred hand attempts to pull a quarter from the pocket of the lifeless body of the season ticket-holder next to her."
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ROMO?
Some have suggested that Tony Romo is on a bit of a slide and are searching for answers. Look no further than Jessica Simpson. Is there a man that Simpson has been involved with that has had their career furthered by being involved with her?
Nick Lachey's solo career is about as successful as Michael Richards' solo career. He was pretty successful as a boy-bander, but he can’t make it on his own. Justin Timberlake has shown that it is possible to make the leap. Instead, Lachey has turned into a USC sideline lackey.
Johnny Knoxville co-started with the Rock in Walking Tall, starred in that Special Olympics movie. But after getting tangled up with Simpson, he has had to go back to making Jackass movies.
Nice work Yoko Simpson.
- The dude filling in for Calvin Cowherd today had a nice straw-man argument, busting the myth that the Bears are not a good home football team. You mean like last week's Weak Ender that indicated that the winner of the Giants/Panthers match-up would go on to beat the Bears in the divisional round of the playoffs? Nobody believes that the Bears are a legitimate playoff team. Nobody.
- Does anybody else feel like they could just start the NFL playoffs today? Do we need to drag this thing out for three more weeks? The best teams in the AFC are San Diego, Baltimore, Indianapolis and New England. Just let them start playing right now and get it over with. The NFC should just have Dallas play at Chicago with the winner going to New Orleans.
- Drew Brees is approaching Dan Marino's single-season record for passing yards (5,084). Brees could do it if he averages 350 passing yards in the final three games. Or if he gets to the play the Cowboys three more times.
- Anybody who considers Brees the MVP is doing a disservice to rookies Marques Colston and Reggie Bush. The former Heisman Trophy winner might not be putting up the rushing numbers most thought he would get, but the dude has nearly 80 receptions. It's hard to consider Brees the most valuable player on his own team right now. Much less in the league.
- People who think Devin Hester is the rookie-of-the-year are completely nuts. Bush is at the top of the list, followed very closely by Vince Young. Yes, the dude is just a winner. Hester probably goes in the slot below Colston. And yes, THN hates defensive players. It's where they put dumb players who can't catch.
- How did the Seahawks become worse once Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander returned? The saddest thing is that the NFC West is so bad, it deserves a 7-9 division winner. It really does.
- Most ironic nickname: Tank Johnson being arrested on weapons charges. Much more so than Peyton, the Gay Cowboy, Manning. Who is writing these jokes, Joey Porter?
- The accuser in the Duke lacrosse rape case has given birth. The defense asked that a DNA test be performed on the baby. Turns out the father is Coach Kryzkjadjhghleaski.
- Allen Iverson should come to the Clippers. That would be about the only thing that would make disinterested NBA fans tune in for at least a few regular season games. Like Lakers v. Clippers games. Hey, that would be a start, right?
Chiefs owner Lamar Hunt passed away recently. Figures it would be when the Chargers are playing for them. THN gave a heartfelt tribute on its AOL FanHouse page.
Lil' Hater also has his own stirring tribute to Hunt.
I'm assuming the San Diego-Chiefs game will get moved to Kansas City now, right? And that the Chargers will get screwed over on all of the calls in the game. And Dale Carter will be enshrined into the Hall of Fame, right? Oh wait, it’s only important if a Giants owner dies. Sorry, forgot about that.
Oh quite down, like you knew him.