Friday, December 08, 2006

The Weak Ender



Admit it, you had that Farrah Fawcett poster on your wall as a kid. (Although some of you likely still do.) It was cool for the time. When you were 10. But Fat Head (the makers of those lame life-size peel and paste cutouts) have taken it one step further by adding a line of Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders to its collection. But be warned, if you purchased a life-sized cutout of Becca Gambel (above), it will start you down a slippery slope that can only end with the purchase of a Real Doll.

And don't pretend you don’t know what that is.

A PRANKSTER'S DREAM

You know what would be a cool gag? Sneak into Drew Bledsoe's house and line it with Fathead posters of Tony Romo. Maybe you can even mix in a few copies of Tom Brady for good measure, too. (Provide, of course, that he doesn't sue you for it.)

Is there a player in America rooting against his team more than Bledsoe? He is like the modern day Steve DeBerg. Tony Banks also had a good run of being replaced and then having his team win the Super Bowl (St. Louis and Baltimore). But at least he still wasn't on the St. Louis team. Bledsoe has a chance to win two Super Bowl titles, the year after being replaced as the starting quarterback. Bledsoe can take a little pride in the Patriots title because he came off the bench to lead New England to victory in the AFC Championship Game. But this Dallas thing would really be too much.

If the Cowboys win, expect the Raiders to sign Bledsoe next season. Seriously, that is happening.

Zach, over at The Big Picture, also had a take on this subject. The cheerleaders thing. You didn't expect him to talk about sports, did you? Zach, of course, is in talks with Fathead to have a Cowgirl wall poster.

  • Becca's parents are lucky because with a name like that, they destined their kid to be a stripper or Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. They were really fortunate.
  • How long do you think it is going to be before Sean Payton grows to hate Bill Parcells like Bill Belichick does?
  • It just doesn't seem like a Terrell Owens birthday party without Freddy Mitchell. You can check out the pictures here.
  • The Chargers can win the AFC West if they defeat Denver (San Diego hasn't swept the season series since 1982) and Baltimore beats Kansas City. One of the more interesting storylines will be the match-up between defensive tackle Igor Olshansky and cheap-shot artist Tom "Fat Chick from Silence of the Lambs" Nalen. How many yards would the Chargers be penalized if Olshansky hits Nalen with a sack full of nickels prior to the snap? Is that a personal foul or just offsides?
  • The Houston Texans have taken a lot of criticism for passing on Reggie Bush. But the fans in Houston will likely remind the team that it passed on Vince Young, too. Young has actually been impressive, stringing some victories for the Titans. Just think how good Young could be if he could ever learn how to throw the football. Don't fret Texans, you should be stoked on David Carr.
  • Don't forget to vote in THN's Sports Figure of the Year, located in the Hater Poll.
  • The Hot Stove league is heating up and it figures that the Angels have not made any moves. Scot Shields is a pretty good set-up guy. He really is. But is that what is preventing the Angels from getting an impact bat like Adam LaRoche? Holy lord, put Kelvim "Pablo" Escobar in the bullpen if its that big of deal. Escobar would have less arm troubles in the bullpen.
  • The San Francisco Giants get the honor of being the dumbest franchise in baseball after agreeing on a $16M deal with Barry Bonds. Way to bid against yourself on that one, Frisco. The St. Louis rumor was an obvious smokescreen. The team should have played hardball and only offered the league minimum. Nobody would have signed him.
  • The NBA regular season is underway. Not that anybody watches. Want to make the NBA regular season interesting again? Put Kevin Garnett on the Lakers. Then you can start folding up some of these franchises until they get down to around 24. how about going back to the days when each NBA team had at least two stars. And the way David Stern always gets over on the players, this could actually happen. Unlike baseball.
  • Joey Porter channeled his inner Jeff Spicoli when he was asked by Stu Nahan what he thought about Kellen Winslow's late hit.

    "It was late, that's what (European cigarettes) do," Porter said. "He's soft. He wants to be tough but he's really soft. And hey Stu, where did you get this jacket?"

    God bless Joey Porter.
  • The winner of the Heisman Trophy on Saturday will have a huge smile on his face. Until he realizes that he will be playing in Oakland next year.


AND FINALLY
Can't wait for the Carolina and Giants game this weekend. Not because it is going to be good or anything. But we can officially write one of these teams off for the playoffs. You might reason that neither the Panthers or Giants have much playoff hopes, but actually they do. The winner of these two will get to play the Bears in the second round. It seems odd, huh? But one of these teams is still going to manage to sneak into the NFC Championship Game.

The playoffs will end up with the Bears as the top seed, followed by New Orleans and Dallas (in any order). The Saints and Dallas (Sunday night's game) will play each other in the divisional round, while the top-seeded Bears get Carolina or the Giants. The Panthers have the talent to beat the Bears. And as bad as Eli Messiah is, he is not as bad as Rex Grossman. So the winner of the Panthers/Giants has a legitimate chance to go to the NFC Championship Game. Unbelievable.

11 comments:

DAWUSS said...

The Post Mortem ought to be interesting, following the Panthers/Giants game

Mike Oxlong said...

I love my Real Doll. You know dman-well you'd like to grind in her deuce canal, Adam.

Jay Cutler said...

Tom Nalen is pretty and smart.

Anonymous said...

European cigs. (Fags) are also called a bundle of sticks.

Winslow is a bundle of sticks?

Maverick said...

Permission for a flyby, sir?

Air Boss said...

Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.

Eddie Guns said...

They need a Fathead of NFL referees. But the size of my guns would take up the entire wall.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

man, sports are for nerds...

The Field Marshall said...

Steve Deberg. Is there a QB out there with as much claim to being replaced by success as Deberg? In his career, he was replaced by Joe Montana, John Elway, Vinny Testaverde, and Dave Kreig. If I were a GM, I'd hire him just to know my next acquisition at QB was going to be productive for years to come.

Diane said...

You too can have Cowgirl appear at your party for only $600 . . .

bucky said...

You too can have Cowgirl appear at your party for only $600 . . .

Is she a full service provider?

I see you can have KFed attend your party for $12k plus expenses. Is there anyone who wouldn't rather use that money to make sure he stayed away?