Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Post Mortem

Anybody else sick of Carrie Underwood? Holy hell, was there this much fuss about who Jeff Garcia was dating?

Alright, bad example. But you get the point.

There were enough storylines going on during the Eagles dismantling of the Cowboys that you didn’t need to focus on Underwood. Philadelphia was on the verge of winning its third consecutive road NFC East game, putting them in the driver's seat for the division. Bill Parcells is the most overrated coach in NFL history. He’s still living off the glory of those famed Giants teams. Pacells has regressed in each coaching stop, going from Super Bowl champ, to Super Bowl participant, to AFC Championship Game participant, to not winning a playoff game. Nice legacy. Luckily they have screwed up the Pro Football Hall of Fame so much, that he can’t tarnish his legacy.

The most refreshing storyline was Jeff Garcia proving to Terrell Owens who the real man is. It may have taken Garcia a few years, but he has finally gotten over on Owens. And wasn't it always ironic that Garcia dates a Playboy Playmate, while T.O. spends too much time in the gym, wears flamboyant suits and likes to strut around in full body tights?

And people thought Garcia was gay.

The only thing left to say about Owens is that if looks like a malcontent and acts like a malcontent, it’s a malcontent.

And for the record, the notion that Donovan McNabb is one of the most valuable players in the NFL is a fallacy. But, as stated in this space a week ago, Garcia could win the Super Bowl this year (and really, why not?), and McNabb will still be the starter next year.


Whether you believe that Philip Rivers' game-winning touchdown validates him as a viable quarterback or not, one thing is for certain—this guy needs to learn how to celebrate better. Seriously, what was that? Rivers looked like Jim Valvano after North Carolina State won the NCAA title. Hey Philip, at least act like you weren't surprised to throw that touchdown pass.

But what does that all mean? Was that a coming-of-age moment that Chargers fans have been waiting for? Well, look at it this way. If that was the Giants, and Eli Messiah threw a similar type of touchdown pass, would you consider that a great play, or blown coverage?

Trick question. Eli would never have put his team into a position to win a game like that, this late in the season.

Rivers played an awful game, but he was there when it mattered most. Rivers has the highest fourth-quarter passer rating in the league, and it is not accident that the Chargers came back to win the game.


That's quite an impressive list of teams battling for the final playoff spot in the NFC. The Giants, Packers, Panthers, Falcons and St. Louis football team are all in the mix. A 7-9 record could take the thing (and that would be so great). So who should the nation be pulling for?

Giants: The immediate thought is to have the Giants out of the playoffs all together. But, having Eli Messiah mess himself during the playoffs again would be worth it.

Packers: Are you ready for week-long analysis on how Brett Favre gives the Packers a (all together now class), “Puncher’s chance” at the playoffs?

Panthers: (Expletive) the Panthers.

Falcons: Wouldn't it be cool to see Mick Vick give Ed Hochuli the bird? How long do you think it would take Eddie Guns to dismantle Vick?

St. Louis football team: What planet are you living on?

The obvious choice has to be the Giants. Tom Coughlin keeps his job if the Giants make the playoffs. And Art Shell and Coughlin need to be NFL coaches next season. It's a must, or sites like THN will die.

  • Advice for Garcia: Don't do any Chunky Campbell spots during the offseason.

  • Vince Young might not be bright, and he might not be able to throw a football, but the dude is showing that he can play. You just have to fear about how effective he will be if he loses a step. But if you are a coach living in the short term, who really cares, right? Besides, who would want to play the Titans in the AFC playoffs?

  • Congratulations to the New York Jets for clinching a playoff berth. What's that you say, the Jets still need to beat the Raiders to make it to the playoffs? Oh. Again, congratulations to the New York Jets for clinching a playoff berth.

  • NBC flexed the Bears and Packers game to Sunday night? Look for NBC to bill this game as one last chance to see John Madden perform on-air fellatio to Favre.

  • Congratulations to the Angels, who just had their left fielder Juan Rivera break his leg in winter ball in Venezuela. At least Bill Stoneman went out and got all of those much needed sluggers.

  • Reggie Bush, Rookie of the Year. We are not debating this anymore, right?

  • It is coming down to the wire for THN Sports Figure of the Year. Be sure to get your vote in. The official poll is on the left hand margin in the Hater Poll.


Taco Surf is The Hater Nation home of Monday night football if, for nothing else, they don't have the sound on. Obviously this is no new ground being broken here, but that crew is enough to almost make you long for Joe Buck. Who told Tony Maizeheiser that he was funny, anyway? Who didn't get the Maizeheiser joke the first time? Who thinks it wasn't funny the second time, either?

Why are you still here? Don't you have a sweater to return?


Anonymous said...


NFL Adam said...

Sorry, CAPPY. I thought about it, too. But when you receive a special edition of Independence Day for Christmas, well, your day is pretty much wrapped up.

Diane said...

The Seattle "Twelfth Man" could really make a difference if "he" could provide coverage instead of just screaming and stomping.

Anonymous said...

Maurice Jones-Drew is the ROY

Tman said...

How you can not give ROY to Vince Young is a mystery to me.

Vince has more combined TD's than any other rookie, and has led four Fourth Quarter comeback wins during the 6 game win streak the Titans are on.

I can't understand how you can make any argument over Vince. No other rookie has literally put his team on his back and simply WON GAMES.

DAWUSS said...

"Vince has more combined TD's than any other rookie, and has led four Fourth Quarter comeback wins during the 6 game win streak the Titans are on."

Lemme guess, Vince Young = Tennessee's John Elway?

Tman said...

"Lemme guess, Vince Young = Tennessee's John Elway? "

No. I'm not even putting Vince in the McNair category yet. He has had some McNair/Elway-esque moments, but four games do not a career make.

What I am saying is he is light years more valuable to his team than any other rookie out there right now. Every other rookie listed cannot make the argument that they singlehandedly won games for their teams this year.

Only Vince can. And again, only he can say that among rookies.

NFL Adam said...

I still believe that Bush has had a big impact in how well the Saints are playing this season. He has helped Brees play well and really opened up the offense for the Saints.

Bush did single-handedly won a game for the Saints this year on a punt return. And he was the main reason why the Saints buried the Giants on Sunday, so he is in that category, too.

DAWUSS said...

BTW, could anyone imagine if the Giants squeak into the playoffs with a losing record (7-9) and then having to listen to the FOX Sports crew (whoever it may be) hark about miracles (ie the Giants in SB XLI, the first team to go to a Super Bowl with a losing record)?

Conrad Bain said...

Rat fucked again, Trojanfan... Vince Young is the ROY. Bank it.

Tman said...

I take that back about Vince being the only rookie to win a game on his own, the Bush punt return would definitely qualify.

But that was once, and Vince has done it repeatedly. I still stand by the argument that Young has led his team to victory more than any other rookie.

As good as Reggie is, he hasn't led the team to victory yet.

Chris said...

How about Shannon Sharpe when asked by JB if Tiki Barber is a HOF, Shannon reponse a resounding "NO". Finally someone gets it.

West Side Slant said...

Believe the hype. Vince is the ROY, and this is coming from a Trojan fan.

NFL Adam said...

I'm certainly not going to bag on Young, because I'm still working on a lot of the crow from earlier this year. The Titans were simply dreadful early in the season, especially with Kerry Collins at quarterback. They were awful. I certainly wouldn't have a problem with Young being the ROY.

But, you look at where the Saints have come from. That team was a complete mess last year. I honestly believe that if the Saints had ended up with D'Brickashaw Ferguson, their season would be so much different. I know you probably shouldn't count things like season ticket sales and merchandise, but it is no understatement to say that Bush saved the Saints in New Orleans. I really do. This team would be 5-10 without him right now.

As good as Young is, and he really is this year, he is likely going to come up short of the playoffs. While Bush and the Saints have a real good shot at going to the Super Bowl.

West Side Slant said...

I don't know about 5-10 w/o him Adam. That almost totally discounts what Brees and Colston have done, not to mention Payton. Without Reggie I think they'd be 8-7, maybe 9-6. Without Vince Tennessee would be the 5-10 team, probably more like 4-11.

NFL Adam said...

I hear what you are saying, but coaches schemed so much to stop Bush, it gave Brees and Colston a chance to flourish.

I'm not discounting what Young has done, but I'm still leaning towards Bush.

Bob McNair said...

Reading you 3 ass clowns argue about 2006 ROY made me spit up my bourbon. How can honestly not give the honor to Mario Williams this year? Gawd, i'm a genius!

Tom Flores said...

It's Michael Huff, hands down! To not say that Michael Huff is your 2006 ROY takes away the last shred of credibility that this site ever had.

Conrad Bain said...

Bush is amazing, but without Young the Titans are the Raiders and Coach Mullester is unemployed.

No mention of it here, but Jay Cutler just set a record by throwing multiple touchdowns in his first four NFL starts. He won't get a look for ROY this year, but he'll be an MVP candidate next year.

NFL Adam said...

the last shred of credibility that this site ever had.

This site had credibility? Sweet.

Anonymous said...

Cappy should be the weekend writer. Make this happen.

Eddie Guns said...

I would love to see that herpes-infested Vick try it.