Friday, November 17, 2006

The Weak Ender

Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson made news this week with a rumored romance. The couple allegedly had lunch together this week in an encounter more scripted than Simpson’s marriage.

Romo obviously is trying to follow in the footsteps of Troy Aikman, who led the Cowboys to three Super Bowl titles, but more importantly, had a couple of high-profile romances with Lori Morgan and Sandra Bullock before settling down with Cowboys PR chick, Rhonda Worthey. (Really, she was the reason for the high attendance for the NFL’s yearly PR meetings.)

And that is the point here. Romo could be have his pick of any women, as he is the quarterback for the league’s most high profile team. While Simpson is really attractive, that is a family tree you might not want to climb. Joe Simpson makes Marv Marinovich seem liaise faire by comparison.

Mandy Peete was recently snapped up, but there are still some solid choices out there like Jill Wagner, Ashley Judd or maybe Stacey Keibler. Hey, at least it wasn’t Paris Hilton, right?

Still, Cowboys fans had better hope that he makes some better choices on the field.

THE BIG GAME

The most anticipated college football game of the season is finally here—when USC plays host to Cal at the Coliseum on Saturday. And yeah, Ohio State and Michigan are also playing this week. Both games should help settle the BCS mess. Right. The loser of the Ohio State and Michigan game could remain at number two. You might think that is impossible, but anybody who suffered through that Miami vs. Nebraska title miss-match will let you know differently.

Jeff Tedford teams have been known to quit once they stumble during the season. Just look at Cal's bowl performance last year. So it won’t be a surprise when USC wins this game going away.
When you look at Ohio State’s schedule, you notice that their marquee wins just aren't that impressive. They beat Texas, who started a freshman quarterback. A freshman quarterback that lost to Kansas State last week. Iowa has proven to be garbage. THN recommends taking Michigan and the points, along with USC. But be advised, your college football expert is 6-1 in picking Boise State games and about 2-89 in other college games. So start partying in Columbus.
THE NFL's BIG GAME

Regular season NFL games never seem to have the importance as huge college games because of the league’s ridiculous instance on a playoff system. Wouldn’t the NFL be better if either the Broncos or Chargers were eliminated this week instead of making us wait for playoffs in January?

The Chargers have not faired well in Denver. In particular LaDainian Tomlinson. There are probably some Broncos fans who don’t think that LT is good at all. Not because Tomlinson’s career rushing high in Denver is 75 yards (2001) but because most Broncos fans are only one rung away from being a Raiders fan.

Everybody seems to be harping on the fact that LT struggles in Denver. Marty Schottenheimer struggles in Denver. And really, NFL trends have meant so much this season so that shouldn't even matter. The bottom line is that San Diego just has a better football team right now. But that almost seems to simple to break it down that way, right?

  • Breaking news: Former Michigan coach Bo Schembechler passed away on Friday morning. Maybe this rivalry is more intense than us West Coasters give it credit for. But how pissed are you right now if you are an Ohio State fan? Not that they need any more incentive. But do current Michigan players really care about Schembechler? They probably remember him more for his GM stint with the Tigers. Will Schembechler’s obituary be written on a cocktail napkin.

  • Baltimore linebacker Ray Lewis won't play against Atlanta this week. That's too bad, he just kills Atlanta. Oh wait, Lewis kills while in Atlanta. Our mistake.

  • Houston was award the Texans franchise after Los Angeles failed to get its act together. Nobody is more bummed about that than Texans guard Fred Weary who was shot with a Taser after being stop for speeding. Had Weary been playing for the Los Angeles Californians, he not only would have been given a police escort home, he would be on FOX, hosting a special explaining that if he was to hypothetically speed, here is how he would do it. Hypothetically, of course.

  • Jets running back Leon Washington's trading card caused a flap this week when it appeared that he was flipping the bird. Who does this guy think he is, Billy Ripken? Washington instead said he was giving a gang symbol. Yeah, because that’s much better. The sad part? It was perceived to be better.

  • Who is to blame for New England’s two-game losing streak? It's the grass. The Patriots will install FieldTurf in time for its November 26 game against the Bears. The Patriots also made news when the team signed Vinny Testaverde to a contract. But wouldn't it seem more likely that Testaverde owns a landscaping company and they will be installing the FieldTurf? That has to be the explanation because it would be hard to believe that a team would let Willie McGinest, Adam Vinatieri and Deion Branch go, and then sign a guy like Vinny.

  • Herman Edwards does not want to win the Super Bowl. Would he have stuck with Drew Bledsoe if he was the Patriots coach in 2001?

  • Albert Haynesworth returns for the Titans this week and he says that he is sorry. Still, it would be understandable for Eagles center Jamaal Jackson to be a little nervous.

  • Have you signed the petition to get Steve Bisheff’s Toupee in the California Sports Hall of Fame? Make sure you do. This petition will eventually be turned over to the CSHOF, so make your voice heard.


AND FINALLY

Coaches Mike Nolan and Jack Del Rio will be allowed to wear suits this weekend. Nolan has long desired the chance to wear suits in homage to his father, who was formerly the 49ers head coach. But he was always denied by the NFL’s dress code. Yes, the same dress code that allows Bill Belichick to wear sweatshirts with his sleeves cut off, like he is some tow-truck driver. Nolan (and Del Rio) will be allowed to wear suits twice this season. Of course, the suits will be designed by Reebok. Yeah, there is no way those will look tacky. But hopefully this leads to a trend of people wearing suits more.

12 comments:

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

you're right about tedford sometimes laying down after a sour defeat.

but you have your years mixed up, my man.

it was two years ago that cal was left out of the rose bowl and then blown out in the holiday bowl against texas tech.

last year, cal sucked during the year, but won the las vegas bowl over byu.

hey, las vegas. bowl. you shoulda known that one...

DAWUSS said...

If the Cowboys win, you can thank Steak N Shake for their botched promo

TJ Rubley said...

"Former Michigan coach" Bo Schembechler died?
I thought it was the other Bo Schembechler.

Sun Devil said...

Broncos 46 - Chargers 21

NFL Adam said...

A team with Jake Plummer scoring 46 points? Just can't see it.

Peralta said...

Actually, Colt McCoy (The freshman qb from texas) was injured during the first drive of last weeks game against Kansas State. He didn't play half of the first, and then the 2nd third and fourth quarters.

Go bucks.

the bish's rug said...

I'm just honored to be considered for the CSHOF. If I am elected , NFL Adam will be asked to do my induction speech.

The Hatriot said...

I hate to play copy editor, but you really need to proof a little harder:
he is the quarterback for the league’s most high profile team
should read
he is the quarterback for a team that is 1-3 against the division.
Glad to help. By the way, my verification word is "zhuwnke". Now I know how Shawn Kemp names his illegitimate children.

Hatriot said...

Hmmmmmm. Why the hell is my post not showing up?

Diane said...

nice to see the Chargers and LT get the Mile High Monkey off their backs . . . can't wait till the defense gets healthy/serves out those pesky suspensions

Conrad Bain said...

Plummer always puts up a lot of points, if you include the number he gift wraps for Denver's opponents.

Anonymous said...

JAKEASS SUCKS BIG FAT CUMDEVIL DICK! ANOTHER GAME HE HAS COST US! GREAT JOB DICKHEAD! NICE WAY TO JUST ROLL OVER ON YOUR BACK AND TAKE IT IN THE ASS IN THE SECOND HALF DILWEED! FUCK JAKEASS PLUMMER!
LOSER-ASS PIECE OF SHIT!
CUT HIS STUPID ASS!