Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Raiders Own Monday Night

Raider Nation finally invaded Taco Surf, the unassuming haunt for THN Monday Night Football. To think, all it took was two wins to scrounge up the dregs of humanity that could not be found during the first five weeks of the season. Well, most Raiders fans have always been idiots. A meaningless two-game winning streak brings out the most myopic. Of course, this lead to the colorful Raiders running commentary during the game. But hey, it could have been worse—you could be at home listening to Joe Theismann.

And listening to Raiders fan pontificate on football was more enlightening. To wit, here is how a Raiders fan summed up the evening, “(Expletive) (Expletive) Mother (Expletive). (Expletive) these mother (expletives).” That really captures the mood, huh?

There were various calls to hurt that mother (expletive), the refs are out to get them and such. But that’s just the Raiders way. As it is always the Raiders way to pay $4 for a bottle of Corona when a draft of Dos Equis cost $2.

The Raiders fans were asked to cool it. Like THN, Taco Surf is a family joint. But Randy Moss finally got to them. “That (expletive) (female dog). (Expletive) you. (Expletive) no, I won’t shut up. I’m (expletive) pissed. (Expletive) mother (expletive). (Expletive) him.”

Luckily, like a true Raiders fans, they left early when the Seahawks put the game away—when Deion Branch scored in the first quarter. Of course, they also have no grasp of sarcasm either.



HEY, AT least Tyler Brayton showed a little fight as he kneed Jerramy Stevens in the groin. Give Brayton a break, though, it was his first sack of the season. And did you notice that Stevens was laughing after the incident? It is because he has a vagina.



BRIAN BOSWORTH seemed good humored about the Bo Jackson incident years ago. Damn, you can’t make fun of him now. Or you could just go watch the movie Stone Cold. Kidding, Bosworth was great in that movie.

6 comments:

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

so i saw jerramy stevens in a seattle bar about 2 weeks ago and he was grinding up on this not-so-hot chick...so maybe he was laughing after getting kneed because he has no penis.

Joe Buck's Wife said...

It isn't that Stevens doesn't have a penis, he just can't feel it. Kind of like he can't feel the ball hit his hands so he can catch it.

I expect a little more out of THN when a Raider knees an opposing player in his sacred member on national television. I mean do we seriously need to call Joe Buck in to write the column today?

Anonymous said...

that photo of the two Raider tools crying after Tampa Bay whooped them up in the SB will never get old. It's still hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THAT PICTURE!
I HAVE IT AS MY SCREEN SAVER ON MY COMPUTER! I LOVE IT!
HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET THOSE TWO GOT A ROOM AFTER THAT...
F8CKIN GAYDER NATION HOMOS!

P.S.- ANYONE CATCH THAT DRUNK GAYDER FAN LAST NIGHT ALL DONE UP IN HIS HALLOWEEN COSTUME ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL MULLING AROUND THE BAR DURING THE GAME WITH EVERYONE CRINGING WHEN HE CAME NEAR THERE TABLE?? IT WAS CLASSIC. SEAHAWK FANS WERE WATCHING THEIR WALLETS AND CREDIT CARDS...

TheBigO said...

It's funny because one of the dudes in that picture is NFLADAM, i'll give you a hint he'll be on the bottom later.

NFL Jennifer said...

Anyone notice that they have a pitcher of water on the bar? Oh, it might be a pitcher of Kamchatka vodka on the rocks, that makes more sense.