Monday, November 20, 2006

Lil' Haters Tribute To Dirty Waters

“I never tried to intentionally hurt anyone.” – Andre “Dirty” Waters in a 2004 interview.

Yeah, tell into Redskins kicker Jess Atkinson, whose career was cut short by a Waters cheap shot to the leg back in those "glory years" of the Buddy Ryan-led Eagles. Those years when the Eagles talked the talk but never won anything of note.

Or tell it to Doug Williams, who was once sucker punched from behind by Waters, leading to surgery.

Or tell it to any of those other countless recipients of his cheap shots. At least Bill Romanowski needed to be in a roid rage to injure people. Waters, for all I can tell, was just an a-hole with no class.

Hey, I'm just amazed the bullet that Waters used on himself didn’t take out an innocent bystander or three. Autopsy reports are unclear on whether he was watching the Eagles suck again on Sunday before ending his life. If so, then a motive was pretty clear. Or maybe he was upset that he wasn't the one to ruin Donovan McNabb's career.

What? Is that too harsh? Perhaps I’m being too hard. I like other NFL fans, will take a moment to honor Waters. I also would like to think that the last thing that went through Waters’ mind—other than that bullet—was how Jess Atkins got the best of him.

Now I'm sure the league is already figuring out the best way to exploit this news for the benefit of the Giants.


sportscolumn said...

dude... lame.

The Crickets said...

chirp... chirp... chirp...

NFL Adam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Conrad Bain said...

Wow, tough crowd.

Anonymous said...

I also would like to think that the last thing that went through Waters’ mind—other than that bullet—was how Jess Atkins got the best of him.

I just got that.

NFL Adam said...

Eagles fans are a little bitter that their team was the only one not to cash in during NFC East's football frenzy during the 1980s-early 1990s. Like they were somebody who couldn't get laid during the 1970s.

Hatriot said...


It's a heartwarming holiday tradition!

Plowboy Honk rides in to Li'l Handjob's defense.

Why, I'll bet the last time these two had an International Coffees moment like this was when they found out Aikman was a "bottom". Chin up, girls! With a little luck you can keep up that .250 average against the division! BTW, my verification word is "kygtii", the first thing Michael "Booga Shooga" Irvin said when he woke up in the ER if I'm not mistaken.

Stand by to watch me receive a purse-slapping I'll won't soon forget!

NFL Adam said...

I'm just not sure that gay jokes about Aikman are appropriate right now, seeing that Jeff Garcia is the starting quarterback of the Eagles these days.

Not that Aikman couldn't stand to butch up a little bit. Maybe he can create his own clothing line or something, like Donovan McNabb. Because you know all the guys who make clothes for a living are totally butch.

Don't despair Eagles fan. While the rest of society only recognizes Super Bowl titles for NFL greatness, I'll give you your propers for the consecutive titles in 1948 and 1949. And I won't even mention that the Cleveland Browns snot-kicked the Eagles during their first game in 1950. But only because I have too much respect for Steve Van Buren, Pete Pihos and Greasy Neale.

And when that old-school Eagles fan shows up to the Super Bowl in his No. 60 jersey, at least *hem* one person will know that he is representing Chuck Bednarik. It's just what I do.