Monday, October 09, 2006

The Post Mortem

RIP Martyball.

It is amazing what happens when you let your quarterback throw the ball, right Marty? Listen, Marty Schottenheimer is not a dumb guy. He knows this is his last chance to win and likely his last chance to coach. So what does he have to lose now? But you know, at the first sign of trouble, Marty is going to have to fight the temptation to sit on the ball again when the Chargers have a big lead. So maybe the club should play behind each week, and then pour it on in the fourth quarter.

It might be time to put the Steelers to bed (even though the schedule is easier). Ben Roethlisberger is not the same quarterback he was last year. It is eerily similar to the way Tommy Maddox had his career unravel when he was carted off on a stretcher a few years back. Touchdown Tommy never recovered from that brief paralysis and now he is out of football. Roethlisberger will be given a little bit more time, obviously, but he has that same glazed over look that Tommy had and Kurt Warner has developed down in Arizona. And it is not good.

Speaking of Arizona quarterbacks, Matt Leinart was rather impressive in his debut. Obviously the Raiders are very happy today that they passed over him for some defensive back. But before we get too giddy over Leinart, remember that the Cardinals will play host to the Bears on Monday night. Maybe the Cardinals should offer up Warner as a sacrificial lamb. Or maybe the Cardinals might want to install Martyball for one week.

  • While Marty has abandoned Martyball for at least a week, at least that didn’t stop him from killing your fantasy team by running Michael Turner nearly as many times as L.T. It’s like Bill Cowher had L.T. on his fantasy team and Marty really wanted to stick it to him by beating the Steelers and Cowher’s fantasy squad.

  • You have to figure that Roethlisberger hates Luis Castillo. First, Castillo nearly pulled a "Kimo" on his knee during the Monday Night game last year. Castillo again got to him last night (pictured above). And then today, it turns out that Castillo's grandmother was the one driving that car that hit Roethlisberger. What are the odds, eh?

  • The Eagles fans were pretty disappointing on Sunday. No major disturbances. No reports of violence. Nobody pulling an Robert De Niro from The Fan. Nobody hanging Joe Buck in effigy. Just a couple of "O.D." chants and some T-shirts. Ooh, look at me. I'm a big, bad Philly fan and I am wearing a mean-spirited T-shirt. Colorado Divelanche fans are tougher. Just a weak effort, Eagles fan. Even T.O. himself was disappointed by the lack of creativity and viciousness. A couple of burned jerseys? You fans are a disgrace to the courthouse and jail that was once encased in your stadium.

  • It didn’t take long for Terrell Owens to start digging in on Drew Bledsoe. "You tell me, who’s pulling the trigger?" Owens asked in a press conference after the game. "I'm just out there doing my job. I'm not trying to point the finger at anybody." Yeah, sure you are not. But T.O. is right. Bledsoe lost that game for the Cowboys. Maybe somebody should have asked if the Cowboys would have won if Donovan McNabb was the team's quarterback.

  • Congratulations to Brett Favre for finding a new way to lose. Instead of the game-crippling interception, Favre introduced the game-crippling fumble. Sadly, Favre finished with no interceptions, leaving his magic number at 17.

  • Your college football expert is now 6-0 in the last two weeks. Let’s just ignore that THN was dead wrong in its two NFL picks of the week. Would you believe that the Steelers pick was an attempt at a reverse jinx? Yeah, nobody is buying that either.

  • Somebody needs to explain how Florida is the No. 2 team in the country? How many SEC patsies are the voters going to build up? The SEC is not superior to any conference in America. And if those teams ever traveled for their non-conference games, they wouldn’t be as unbeatable as they seem. But go ahead, Gators, take the No. 2 spot. You can keep it warm for somebody else until you lose to Vanderbilt or South Carolina or something.

  • Nice unifoms, Cal. Seriously, it was kind of cool. Like the Elroy Hirsch-era Rams or something.

  • Who do you pull for in the baseball playoffs now that you don’t have the Yankees to root against? The Mets. Nothing would make Yankees fans feel worse than having "Those jerks from Flushing" win the title. Of course, they will claim victory through Willie Randolph, just like Dodgers fans try to do with the Angels.

  • The Cleveland Browns might have lost yesterday, but their meaningless field goal at the end of the game helped them cover the spread. All NFL coaches should be required to play for the spread when the game dictates.

  • Everybody made a big deal about Reggie Bush finally scoring his first touchdown. Some even speculated that Bush was a bust. Morons. Bush has made the Saints a much better team and it just hadn’t manifested itself in touchdowns until yesterday. The Saints has a winning attitude thanks to Reggie. While Drew Brees deserves some credit, too, Bush has changed the face of that franchise.

Members of the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers are getting nervous that Oakland is going to make a legitimate push at 0-16 this season. The Buccaneers, of course, went 0-14 in 1976 and started the franchise with an 0-26 mark. Not that this year's version of the Buccaneers is that much better (losers again on Sunday), but you get the feeling that Jon Gruden will lead his team to a victory. Art Shell on the other hand? No. You would figure that the Raiders would get one of those sneaky wins, catching a team the week after a huge victory. But you know, the way everybody hates the Raiders, that might not happen. Typically a Monday night winner is vulnerable the following week, but do you see Mike Shanahan overlooking the Raiders next week? Hardly.


Anonymous said...

How 'bout writing about the positives of a trade between diva-WR Joey -er, I mean Jerry Porter of the Raidahs and his gold $ belt for pro-wrestler -er, I mean Titans' DT Albert Haynesworth. It sounds like a win-win to me!

NFL Adam said...

Who is Jerry Porter? Didn't he retire?

Anonymous said...

No, he's still in Al and Art's dog house. What a way to earn the benjamins. How about a Haynesworth and a years supply of Depends for Al for a get out of jail free card for Poopturd?

Vegan Viking said...

Conservative football: sitting on the ball with a big lead. Not a great idea, but not a bad idea.

Martyball: sitting on the ball with a small lead. Bad idea.

Anonymous said...

Please stop trying to write about college football. You "dumbassedness" is showing.