Sunday, October 08, 2006

Nice Investment



How much did the Yankees piss away on those guys? It almost calls for one of those “priceless” jokes if, you know, they were still funny. Those jokes were in style back when the Yankees were serious World Series contenders.

And that seems like a lifetime ago.

America can breathe a sign of relief that the Yankees have been eliminated from the playoffs. Again. There was a lot of anxiety and fear that the Yankees would waltz to its first World Series of this century, but the Tigers took care of that before the A's could pull their typical choke job to the Yankees. A grateful nation thanks you, Detroit.

So where do the Yankees go from here? There are a lot of questions. The first is the fate of manager Joe Torre who will reportedly be fired this week and replaced with Lou Pinella. Was Art Shell not available? Pinella is still living off of one championship in 1990 and the world seems to ignore his failing stints with the Yankees, Mariners and Steve Irwin Killers.

The identity of the next over-the-hill slugger the team will sign (while again ignoring its lack of pitching) has yet to surface. This actually screams for Barry Bonds. What could be more fitting than to have Yankees fans swallow their pride to have to root for Bonds? Or for the baseball Gods to strike him down in a Yankees Stadium left-hand batter's box?

And finally, there is the A-Rod, the Yankees scapegoat. There are rumors that he could be heading to the Angels. And that’s fine. But the Yankees are desperate to get rid of him, so anybody on the Angels 40-man roster should be off limits. But here is a better idea, Yankees; just ship Derek Jeter to the Angels and be done with it. Jeter can actually play baseball and doesn’t fit in with the collection of heart-less and gutless stiffs you have collected. Jeter should at least be given the opportunity to win another title, don’t you think? It isn’t going to happen with the Yankees.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually, sting rays are completley different from Devil Rays.

DocMalk said...

I will be...less than happy...if Pay-Rod ends up with the Halos.

NFL Adam said...

I just won $1M because I bet some smart ass would whine, "But sting rays are different from devil rays." So thank you Captain Buzzkill for taking yourself a little too seriously.

Captain Literal said...

It would be impossible for the Yankees players to live without hearts. How about you brush up on some basic biology you stupid idiot? Humans cannot live without hearts, and I'm guessing it would be impossible for them to live without guts. But I would suggest they could live longer without guts, but not for very long.

Some kid hanging from a locker by his underwear said...

The Yankees could not "ship Derek Jeter to the Angels," due to the fact there is no intercontinental waterway to handle such transport.

Theologian said...

I don't believe in "baseball gods."

I don't like metaphors said...

You can't actually swallow pride, ya know. It's intangible.

daddy said...

NFL Adam has never let scientific facts get in the way of a good joke. It's the sigh of the times.

NFL Adam said...

Ah, science sucks anyway. It all started when I learned that not all of the creatures from Land of the Lost were real. You think they could have tipped off a kid, or something. At least not put it on Saturday mornings.

Anonymous said...

Adam those creatures were real. Those Saturday mornings were real.
You are no longer real.
They have not changed. You have.