Friday, September 29, 2006

The Weak Ender

Have you ever noticed the frighteningly similar parallel between Cowgirl and the Sports Dork? The Net is littered with Sports Dork comparrison, but Cowgirl might be the best example. Both are Internet phenoms, both had the incredible fortune of being in the right place at the right time and both have unreadable columns on major media outlets. It is crazy. Of course, the Sports Dork is kind of a smug, self-satisfied a-hole, kind of like Dennis Miller in his post SNL years. Cowgirl at least seems like she is in on the joke with the rest of us. And let's face it, she looks much better in a tank top.

The Dork is now starting to take a lot of shots from around the web and, as pioneers in this field, it is nice to finally see. Kind of like the Lions fans who were against the Matt Millen hiring from the beginning rejoicing in the glow of all of those Fire Millen signs. (Though this might have taken too long.) At the current rate, it will only be a matter of time before the Dork is on the Surreal Life 10. Which, of course, would be the highlight of his life.

(And yes, THN would take Sports Dork money, so don't bother.)

  • The 9-1-1 tape from the T.O. apparent suicide has been released. But many of you might not know that T.O. is doing a reality TV Show. If you want to check out the footage of what happened, you can watch it here.
  • It would be really disappointing if T.O. did try to commit suicide by taking pills. You would expect something cool like the opening scenes of the Last Boy Scout, not something that had all of the drama of your average ABC After School Special.
  • It's now safe for the entire world to no longer care about the Saints this week. So much so, that you should pick the Panthers to win on Sunday. Do not underestimate that emotional let down the Saints will have this week. It’s coming. That is your NFL lock of the week. The Patriots also are a goood bet for this reason.
  • Was there a happier guy than Terrance Kiel this week? The Chargers arrest was timed perfectly with the T.O. scandal and it was bumped to the back pages. Who is his PR guy, Karl Rove? (C'mon, that was funny.)
  • Apologies for actually getting a couple of college games right last week. So take these picks with caution: Ohio State, Oregon and Boise State to cover.
  • Former Chargers defensive back Rodney Harrison is not afraid of running his mouth, even landing in a war-of-words with new THN hero Chad Johnson. Harrison's response to Johnson saying that he will knock his head off: “He's a funny guy. This is the way he brings humor to the game and keeps himself energized. I know it's all in fun. He didn't mean anything personal about it. This is kind of similar to the Freddie Mitchell gig, but Chad is not on that level of receiver," Harrison said. "He's not as good as Freddie." Point Harrison
  • Whose rug is better, the Bish or Peyton Manning in that phone commercial?
  • People are expecting an awful lot from the Chargers this week; especially quarterback Philip Rivers. But before you get too excited, remember that Ryan Leaf had an excellent first two starts before melting down against Kansas City in his third game, essentially ruining his career. If Rivers has a bad game this week, look for the Chargers to cocoon him from the media in the aftermath.


Did anybody see the reports that the league's interest in the Los Angeles has taken a hit since Roger Goodell took office. You mean that Goodell went back on his word about the NFL and Los Angeles? Why, that is just unprecedented. As it has been reported here on THN (for months), your only chance for NFL football in LA is the Raiders relocating in 2011. Embrace it, or fear it, it is the only hope.


bucky said...

Whose rug is better, the Bish or Peyton Manning in that phone commercial?
I thought that was the Bish in that phone commercial.

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

It is not the Bish, but you will notice that the Bish's rug has been absent from THN forums. It probably has to do with the new Manning gig.

Do you think the Bish Wig reminisces about all his past commercials. "You had to have beend on Johnny U's head during the Lucky Strikes commercials in the 60s to full understand endorsements."

Anonymous said...

nice video jackass

insomniac said...

Great choice of video. However I must caution you that Bill Simmons would have also loved it.

On another note- you're on a helluva run of being called jackass or douchebag over the last few weeks. You'll know you've hit big time when someone busts out "cockboy."

Diane said...

Am I the only one who noticed that Cowgirl has gotten some new even bigger boobies?

Sun Devil said...

Thanks for picking Oregon.

NFL Adam said...

Insomniac is right, the Dork would have loved it. But we can't let him ruin it.

Not sure that Cowgirl got new boobs, but they are jammed tight into that shirt. Like she's wearing a women's version of an Ed Houchuli shirt.

insomniac said...

Holy crap...Ducks and Broncos covered easily.

NFL Adam said...

It is starting to scare me.

Clay Goldenrod said...

Great video. Take a look at Zack's outfit. Hard to believe he was a heartthrob. And with that signing voice, I see why Elizabeth Berkley got that role in Opera Singer...oh wait, it was Showgirls. Now it makes sense.

Rep. Mark Foley (R) said...

I'd like that Cowgril a lot better if she was an underage boy.