Monday, September 18, 2006

The Post Mortem



The Raiders finally score, two NFC playoff contenders are seemingly out of the race and the Messiah rises from the dead. But the top story in the NFL, just how good are the San Diego Chargers?

The Chargers are the first team since the 1977 Oakland Raiders to pitch a shutout in the first seven quarters of the season. And really, Vince Young only got into the end zone because the Chargers were playing a soft zone after dominating the Titans all day. But is this defense legitimate?

Take a look at the competition—the Raiders and the Titans. Here is how bad the Titans are; they started a quarterback the Raiders didn’t think was good enough to play for their team. The Raiders brought Jeff George into camp this year as they let Kerry Collins walk away. It is a great start of the season, but there is still a lot of work to do with the Chargers before you start booking your tickets to Miami. (Those will be addressed during the finale of the Super Bowl Buzz Kill this week.) The Chargers will get their answer when they play host to Pittsburgh on October 8.

  • How good was Eli’s comeback for the Giants? Eh. It seemed more like the Eagles choked rather than Eli leading a comeback. The Giants game-winning touchdown was more of a jump ball and a great athletic play by Plaxico Burress. Still that won’t preclude the talking heads of the NFL from declaring the Messiah as, well, the second coming. Thanks for nothing Philly. But as painful as it is to see the media gush over Messiah, it is equally as funny to see them make excuses for Donovan McNabb—who incidentally chokes so much, you are almost lead to believe that Archie Manning knocked up some Nubian princess.
  • Even John Madden had to pipe in during the Cowboys/Redskins game to say that Messiah is going to be something. Hey John, you did the Manning Bowl last week. You can actually go an entire game without talking about the Manning family. Even Steve Tasker swooned about Peyton during the Ravens/Raiders game. Yeah, nice job beating up on the Houston Texans, Peyton. They should just allow Manning to play a bunch of fifth graders and then all of the NFL talking heads can get together and just rave about Manning’s poise.
  • The Carolina Panthers and Tampa Bay Buccaneers are done for the season. Only one team in the past three seasons has started 0-2 and gone on to the playoffs. And the Falcons and Saints are 2-0, with one of them will be 3-0 after next week’s Bono Bowl. Chris Simms might be the worst quarterback not wearing a Raiders uniform in the NFL.
  • Speaking of the Raiders, it looks like the Andrew Walter era is set to begin as the Raiders scored six points (that means the Raiders will be ready to score 54 points in week 11). The Ravens have made a lot of changes since they won Super Bowl 35. But they still have that one play left in the playbook called, “Jump on the Raiders quarterback and break his shoulder” play. Stupid Ravens, though, Aaron Brooks was on the verge of setting an NFL record for fumbles after losing the football in two of his first three plays. It could have been a record-breaking day.
  • The Angels are done and its not much of a surprise. Look for the Angels to bank on signing only one slugger this offseason and then not having a back-up plan if they lose him. Hey Dodgers, who is your Padre? The Padres are in first place and should take control of the lead on Monday.
  • When Brent Lushberger labels an USC running at the next Reggie Bush, does he mean that he is going to take $100K from an agent?
  • Somebody needs to let Madden know that the Redskins/Cowboys rivalry is done. Madden was throwing out all of the clich├ęs on Sunday night with “these teams don’t like each other” and “the intensity for this game is pitched up a little bit because its Cowboys and Redskins.” That might have been true in the 1970s when players played on the same team for a generation. But you get the feeling that former 49ers cornerback Mike Rumph and former St. Louis safety Adam Archuleta give a damn about beating the Cowboys? Well, not like they need to worry about beating the Cowboys this year, but you get the point.
  • The Terrell Owens era in Dallas just blows. He needs to start openly campaigning for Tony Romo or throw some powder in Bill Parcells' eyes. Something. Now he’s got a bust hand, obviously from too much masturbation. Kind of like that hand model that George Costanza replaced on Seinfeld.

AND FINALLY
Nobody gives you college-betting winners like THN. Another perfect week as both Notre Dame lost and USC failed to cover (depending on when you fired in). But that Auburn/LSU game was a joke as predicted in this space. Nice offense. How can the AP voters justify putting Auburn ahead of USC? It is obvious that the writers don’t watch West Coast games, but do they even watch the SEC games? How anybody could watch that Auburn game and think they were a Top 10 team, let alone No. 2 is beyond comprehension.

Congratulations to Boise State who finally cracked the Top 25. The Broncos could go undefeated but will be left out of a BCS bowl because one-loss teams like Notre Dame will be given the nod.

20 comments:

Conrad Bain said...

How about Jake Plummer? I just knew he'd step up and deliver a solid game after last week's abortion (and how about that mighty Ram's D?). Herm Edwards didn't even have to throw anything at Jake but vanilla blitzes and single coverage because Plummer can't see his receivers any more than Terri Schiavo could see that red balloon.

How about Mike Shanahan's facial expressions yesterday when they couldn't punch it in from 1/2 yards? He looked like he was passing a canned ham through his urethra. If not for Jason Elam saving Jake's ass, he would not even get a snap next week at Foxboro.

JichaelDick said...

Yeah, Auburn and LSU are HORRIFIED of the Pac-10. I mean, Auburn struggled mightily beating Washington State 40-14, and LSU looked verklempt at trying to stop the Arizona offense...luckily, their offense was good enough to outscore the Wildcats 45-3. SEC football rules, NFLAdam.

(BTW, USC didn't exactly impress against Nebraska, either. A 7-3 win over the #6 team in America is much more impressive than a 28-10 win over any team led by Bill Callahan

Anonymous said...

Nebraska was ranked #19 at the time.

Anonymous said...

CONRAD, WHEN WILL SHANNY GET IT THROUGH HIS SKULL THAT PLUMMER IS AVERAGE AT BEST??? THE CUTLER ERA SHOULD'VE STARTED YESTERDAY. PLUMMER NEEDS TO BE BENCHED. HE'S WORSE THAN AARON BROOKS!!!!

JichaelDick said...

Well, Bill Callahan DID make a Super Bowl, doesn't mean he's a good coach.

Sun Devil said...

So nice to see the Jake haters are in midseason form, repeating the same lines over and over again.

And while ya'll hate on 2 of the worst 3 teams in the Pac-10, the Devils, Ducks, and Trojans are all dominating.

But most important:
THE BRETT FAVRE UPDATE
19 to go!
At this rate, Favre will win the pick record against New England on Nov. 19. Sounds about right. And you all think Jake throws a lot of picks...at least Jake still makes the playoffs.uuu

NFL Adam said...

How did Ole Miss do? I'm sure USC would be mighty scared of them. Or Kentucky or Arkansas. And props to Southern Carolina for defeating Wofford. Nice win!

Vegan Viking said...

Did anybody else get the chance to see the Bronco fan in a Jay Cutler jersey cupping her hands to her mouth, yelling, "You Suck!" after a Plummer incompletion? Do you think the camera guy had to look hard to find somebody in the crowd doing that? Like, at all?

JichaelDick said...

Adam, you know that I am by law forced to defend the SEC (being from Alabama and all), but I still think that LSU and Auburn are very, very good teams. Maybe showing that those two could beat the bejeezus out of a crappy Pac 10 squad is not such a great idea, but I do think that LSU and Auburn could give USC a game (I think it would be sorta low-scoring myself).

FWIW, Ole Miss is an SEC team in name only...the only way they'll ever be competitive is to merge with Mississippi State, become the University of Mississippi State Rebdogs (with Maroon and Blue as the colors), and then have said UMS move to the Sun Belt Conference. We might actually have a winning season then.

sec_be_stupid said...

Nice sample, the two worst Pac-10 teams on the road at the two best sec teams.

How would Vandy do at Oregon or Ky do at USC or for that matter Auburn of Lsu do on the road.

you're as dumb as all the sec players. And man are they stupid. Except Vandy.

DidYouKnow said...

Did you know...

that McNabb was right behind Trent Cole and forced Cole's leg right up that Giant's ass right in front of the refs, giving Feely an easy chippie?

that McNabb put a hex on Westbrook, causing that late fumble?

that McNabb let the Giants march right downfield in OT?

that McNabb set up Buckhalter to have 5 of his 6 rushes go a total of zero yards?

Yeah, that McNabb caused the rest of the team to gag that one away. Must've been just him that choked.

JichaelDick said...

sec_be_stupid, how about one more game...one with a legitimate, honest to God pretty good Pac-10 team facing an SEC school coming off a 5-6 record...

Tennessee 35, Cal 18...and it wasn't that close.

This isn't to say that I think Auburn and LSU are better than USC, nor am I saying the SEC is better than the Pac-10 (although I do feel that way...but again, I'm from Alabama, and I go to an SEC school, so I am insanely biased), but damn, the SEC is 3-1 against the Pac-10 this year, even if we didn't get to see the beauty that would be a Stanford-Mississippi State game, or a Washington-Ole Miss game.

NFL Adam said...

Beating Cal was obviously quite the feather in the cap for the SEC, because it departed from some of the great competition that the SEC traditionally plays.

At home.

(When is Georgia going to return the favor and play at Boise State? I figure they are because it would be weird for an SEC to play host to a Top 25 team, but not return the favor.)

But Cal, unfortunately, was greatly overrated this season. It just seems that SEC fans like to pick and choose which games mean the most. If an SEC team wins a bowl game, that is the most important thing. If SEC wins an early season game, that is the most important.

The Pac-10 bashing is lame because every conference has one or two dominant teams, a couple of teams that could upset a big boy and then some really dreadful ball clubs.

But at the end of the day, at least you aren't Oklahoma right now.

JichaelDick said...

At this point, I think I'd rather be Cumberland College than Ole Miss, to tell you the truth.

You are right on one thing, though...every conference has their clunkers. The SEC has 3 legit clunkers (Ole Miss, Mississippi State, and Vandy-although Vandy is nowhere near as bad as I thought they'd be), with 2 below average teams (Kentucky and South Carolina), 2 average teams (Alabama and Arkansas), one slightly above average team (Georgia), two pretty good teams (Tennessee and Florida), and two really good teams (LSU and Auburn). I'm just inherently biased toward the SEC, and I'm honor-bound to defend them. At the end of the day, though, the SEC and Pac-10 are still better than the Big East.

Sun Devil said...

I was at Autzen this weekend. It was fucking crazy. The noise was unbelievable. I will give the Sooners fans credit...they travel well. But somewhere, Rhett Bomar is laughing his ass off.

insomniac said...

The players might not care about the Skins/Cowboys rivalry as much anymore, but if you saw the shots of the owner's boxes, it's pretty obvious that it was a huge game for Snyder and Jerry Jones. There was one shot of Jones after a Cowboys' penalty, and I thought he was going to start crying.

And Sun Devil- I gotta make the trip out to Autzen some day. Both to experience the crowd noise, and moreso, to see those smokin' Ducks cheerleaders!

Kenny G said...

Didn't the Big East's West Virginia beat Georgia in the Sugar Bowl last year?

Major Harris said...

Not only did they beat them, they beat them in their backyard.

JichaelDick said...

Yes, WVU did beat Georgia 38-35 in the Sugar Bowl (conveniently played at the Georgia Dome), and I also believe that Louisville is one of the top 5 teams in America, but after that, there's not much there. I have a hard time respecting a conference where Rutgers and South Florida thrive.

Anonymous said...

SUN DEVIL HOMER, JAKE HATERS ARE IN MIDSEASON FORM CAUSE YOUR BOY CAN'T GET HIS SHIT STRAIGHT! THE DUDE IS HORRIBLE. I WANT HIM GONE.
GO BACK TO ARIZONA.

"AT LEAST JAKE STILL MAKES THE PLAYOFFS". THAT IS THE BIGGEST ASU CHOKE EXCUSE I'VE EVER SEEN. JUST BECAUSE HE MAKES THE PLAYOFFS DOESN'T MEAN HE IS GETTING HIS JOB DONE. THE GOAL IS TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL AND WIN. NOT JUST MAKE THE PLAYOFFS! THIS IS THE REASON I WANT HIM GONE. HE HAS THE ASU MENTALITY OF MEDIOCRITY. JUST LIKE ASU. MEDIOCRE. THAT'S WHY HE SHOULD BE GONE. JAKE SUCKS. DEAL WITH IT. HE IS THE REINCARNATION OF JIM EVERETT!