Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Lil' Hater's Tuesday Rewind

You know it is a big game when Ed “Big Guns” Hochuli is officiating. But here is a question that I have. NFL players get fined all of the time for not wearing a proper uniform. Players can’t wear cutoff jerseys or have their socks too low. The league has an official watching uniforms every game. So why in the hell does Big Guns get to wear an altered referee uniform? The sleeves hang past the elbow on all of the officials, but Eddie is running around with a practically sleeveless referee jersey. Like he is AC Slater or something. Or maybe Ed is wearing a child’s medium jersey, but in any event, he should be required to wear the same uniform as everybody else. Jerk!

Speaking of Eddie Guns, I personally would have liked to have seen a mug-off between him and Bono. Put them in a cage and watch them fight to see who could get the most airtime. Are there two people on this planet more in-love with their own voices than Eddie Guns and Bono? Oh, and nice musical selection, NFL. You jerks. When you think of the great jazz history of New Orleans, you think of U2 and Green Day. Yeah, yeah, Edge is helping buy guitars for people. Big deal. This was supposed to be about New Orleans. And isn't it curious that a large section of those affected in New Orleans were African American, but where was the Hip Hop representation? Kanye West wasn’t there. New Orleans native Master P wasn't there. Hell, even the Saints weren’t allowed to wear black jerseys. Jerks.

But I would be remised, when talking about mugging, if I didn’t mention an Archie Manning sighting. Is there an opportunity he won't pass up? It’s kind of ironic that Archie was in the building, seeing that he was like the Hurricane Katrina of Saints quarterbacks. That hurricane didn't come close to doing the amount of damage that Archie did during his tenure in the dome.

The game itself was a snore. Good God, there hasn't been a team that shutdown Mike Vick like that since his opponent in those Brisco County High School ads for Nike. (If you start a Falcons receiver in fantasy football, you deserve to lose each week. Just thought I'd throw that out there.) They also picked the wrong opponents for the Saints, too. They should have had the Cowboys in this game. America's team against the so-called America’s team. With T.O. there would have been a chance he could have done something totally tasteless when he scored a touchdown like poured a water bottle on the Saints logo, fake defecation in a box in the end zone corner, or maybe he could have looted a loaf of bread from underneath the goal post. At least the game would have been interesting.

And while I'm on a rant here, let’s just say you can see how much the hard times have hit Reggie Bush's family as they are now dressed worse than they were when he was in USC. He obviously isn’t making as much money now.

I would also be remised if I didn’t mention that the broadcasters wanted me to break the levees again. It might have been worth the damage to the city if we could have trapped Mike Tirico and Joe Theismann indefinitely in the Super Dome. Tirico, during the showing of pictures of devastation, kept talking about how, "you could never imagine this happening in America." Oh really, Mike? Have you never seen Cabrini Green in Chicago? Downtown Detroit? It happens in America all the time, Mike. This is just the only time you will admit that it does. And Theismann, for the second time in as many weeks, was saying that you can’t win the NFL without big receivers. This coming from a guy who won a Super Bowl with a receiving corps known as “The Smurfs.” Idiot.

I am just glad it is over. The Saints can go back to losing and the rest of you can now turn a blind eye as Tom Benson moves the team to Anaheim. Jerks.

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15 comments:

Anonymous said...

GOOD GOD ESPN, PLEASE SACK THEISMAN AND TIRICO! THEY ARE HORRIBLE! MORONS. BOTH OF THEM.

Bono said...

Is this supposed to be funny?

Check your facts said...

Cabrini green no longer exists

Diane said...

My only complaint was Tirico repeatedly going on about how Drew Brees not only plays for the New Orleans, he and his wife actually LIVE there too - what, no commuting from La Jolla? Otherwise, blocked punt, blocked field goal, Angels won, A's lost - good news all around

daddy said...

First NFL Adam, now Lil' Hater. Bono just can't catch a break.

White Guilt said...

Uhh... If you're going to call those affected "African Americans, rather than "Black", please refer to the color of jersey as "African American". We need consistency if this political correctness campaign is ever going to work.

http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewNation.asp?Page=%5CNation%5Carchive%5C200601%5CNAT20060113a.html

Aaron Brooks said...

I wish I was still on that team.

Anonymous said...

Do you mean that Cabrini Green has already begun to be gentrified? Then you are right.

Sen. George Allen said...

I just call those black jersies macaca.
And if you think that's bad, you should've heard what I called 'em back in the 70s!

Anonymous said...

Those Monday Night goons are terrible.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

theismann was also very concerned about the conidition of the field. of all the things to talk about, the fucking field?

NFL Adam said...

That is why we need Norm MacDonald in the booth. Because he could have quipped, "Yeah, it's not a like a guy wasn't taking a dump in the middle of that field only a year ago. The ground is so loose, you could really break your leg out there. Oh, sorry Joe."

Diane said...

Just so long as they don't bring Dennis Miller back

Hatriot said...

Don't you just love it when dittoclowns like "White Guilt" leave links to the tin-foil hat sites that only they visit? Noone north of the Mason-Dixon line or a JC education takes "CyberNutNews" seriously. BTW, from the little bit of race-baiting sophistry (dictionary.com, wingnut) that passes for humor in your post, I'm going to guess that neither "Black" nor "African-American" are the terms of choice in your household, Sparky. Give it rest or I will really take you out to the woodshed next time.

Anonymous said...

where do i send the form to apply for the last few minutes of my life back? because that, in a word, gargled donkey jizz.

remised? WTF does that mean?

yeah, that archie manning did a lot of damage while qb'ing the aints. look, nobody likes him these days because he's always thrown in everybody's face, but you don't know what the hell you're talking about if you think he ruined those teams. jerk!

since when is mike vick getting shut down by an nfl defense big news?

america's team vs. america's so-called team? wha?