You know it is a big game when Ed “Big Guns” Hochuli is officiating. But here is a question that I have. NFL players get fined all of the time for not wearing a proper uniform. Players can’t wear cutoff jerseys or have their socks too low. The league has an official watching uniforms every game. So why in the hell does Big Guns get to wear an altered referee uniform? The sleeves hang past the elbow on all of the officials, but Eddie is running around with a practically sleeveless referee jersey. Like he is AC Slater or something. Or maybe Ed is wearing a child’s medium jersey, but in any event, he should be required to wear the same uniform as everybody else. Jerk!
Speaking of Eddie Guns, I personally would have liked to have seen a mug-off between him and Bono. Put them in a cage and watch them fight to see who could get the most airtime. Are there two people on this planet more in-love with their own voices than Eddie Guns and Bono? Oh, and nice musical selection, NFL. You jerks. When you think of the great jazz history of New Orleans, you think of U2 and Green Day. Yeah, yeah, Edge is helping buy guitars for people. Big deal. This was supposed to be about New Orleans. And isn't it curious that a large section of those affected in New Orleans were African American, but where was the Hip Hop representation? Kanye West wasn’t there. New Orleans native Master P wasn't there. Hell, even the Saints weren’t allowed to wear black jerseys. Jerks.
But I would be remised, when talking about mugging, if I didn’t mention an Archie Manning sighting. Is there an opportunity he won't pass up? It’s kind of ironic that Archie was in the building, seeing that he was like the Hurricane Katrina of Saints quarterbacks. That hurricane didn't come close to doing the amount of damage that Archie did during his tenure in the dome.
The game itself was a snore. Good God, there hasn't been a team that shutdown Mike Vick like that since his opponent in those Brisco County High School ads for Nike. (If you start a Falcons receiver in fantasy football, you deserve to lose each week. Just thought I'd throw that out there.) They also picked the wrong opponents for the Saints, too. They should have had the Cowboys in this game. America's team against the so-called America’s team. With T.O. there would have been a chance he could have done something totally tasteless when he scored a touchdown like poured a water bottle on the Saints logo, fake defecation in a box in the end zone corner, or maybe he could have looted a loaf of bread from underneath the goal post. At least the game would have been interesting.
And while I'm on a rant here, let’s just say you can see how much the hard times have hit Reggie Bush's family as they are now dressed worse than they were when he was in USC. He obviously isn’t making as much money now.
I would also be remised if I didn’t mention that the broadcasters wanted me to break the levees again. It might have been worth the damage to the city if we could have trapped Mike Tirico and Joe Theismann indefinitely in the Super Dome. Tirico, during the showing of pictures of devastation, kept talking about how, "you could never imagine this happening in America." Oh really, Mike? Have you never seen Cabrini Green in Chicago? Downtown Detroit? It happens in America all the time, Mike. This is just the only time you will admit that it does. And Theismann, for the second time in as many weeks, was saying that you can’t win the NFL without big receivers. This coming from a guy who won a Super Bowl with a receiving corps known as “The Smurfs.” Idiot.
I am just glad it is over. The Saints can go back to losing and the rest of you can now turn a blind eye as Tom Benson moves the team to Anaheim. Jerks.
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