Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Lil' Hater: Nice Job Coach

The NFL kickoff is just days away, another coma-inducing baseball season is thankfully winding down, and Tiger Woods may or may not be God.

In busy sports times like this, I think it's important to occasionally stepback and look at the bigger picture.

Namely, that Duke sucks.

Look at this quote from Shane "What's Wrong with My Forehead" Battier, following the Greece debacle:

"Give (Greece) credit. They play great basketball. They play like a championplays."

I don't know about that, Shane, but I do know how a champion doesn't play. And that would be by scoring all of one point in the semifinals, despite playing 12 minutes against a bunch of gyro-eating stiffs that couldn't score 50 measly points against Spain two days later. Spain.

But hey, at least Battier got one more point than fellow Duke loser Elton Brand scored that game, in another useless 12 minutes.

Duke's total contribution to the loss: 24 minutes, 1 point, one assist, zero steals. Christ.

To be fair, that's one more point than the one rival North Carolina player (Jamison) on the roster scored - but that's because Coach K didn't let Tar Heel Jamison see one minute of action in the game.

Great job playing favorites with your alum, coach, that strategy really paid off well. Not really.

Not to point out the obvious, but if Coach Karcrash had just picked two half-decent NBA players, instead of Duke flame-outs, the US would've won that game going away, despite an inability to shoot from the outside, terrible coaching, and a complete failure to defend elementary basketball plays like the pick & roll.

Instead, the team has joined Donald Rumsfeld as this month's example of complete and utter American incompetence.

Why does Duke hate America?

8 comments:

Bobby Hurley said...

I think Shane Battier was simply great during the tournament.

Christian Laettner said...

Duke players always earn their roster spots.

Field Marshal von Rumsfeld said...

I want the bobblehead on a renditioning flight within an hour.

Bruce Bowen said...

Thank you for saving me the embarrassment.

J Williams said...

Just be glad they didn't hire me to drive the bus.

Anonymous said...

Why do you fags hate Duke so much?

daddy said...

Because Duke rhymes with Puke.

Diane said...

Even better Rumsfeld reference . . .