Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The Jerky Boys

Bengals fans annoyed by bad behavior in the stands can now report it by cell phone. The hot-line number is (513) 381-JERK.

Seriously.

Can you imagine how jammed that line is going to be when 65,000 people report Chad Johnson on any given Sunday? Is there anyway that fans could use this phone number to report a member of the Bengals committing a crime? There is a bigger need for a line like that rather than a phone line for a few rowdy fans. As Sam Wyche would point out, it's not like they are in Cleveland.

Still, the complaints of a few parents have vilified people who like to go to games and have some fun. Not everybody is into the "family experience." In fact, kids are often time the biggest nuisance at a sporting event—going up and down the isle numerous times for kettle corn or knocking over your beer because they have no courtesy. Where is the phone line to report an unruly child who stuck his cotton candy stained hands on your Reggie Jackson throwback jersey? Like (513) 381-Your kid is an (expletive) hole.

Sports events can sometimes have cursing or people consuming beers. If you don't want to deal with that, take your kids to see Lindsey Lohan's breast in the latest Disney movie.

1 comment:

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

the hotline for reporting a crime is much more a appropriate in cincy. or a motorcycle hotline in pittsburgh.