Friday, July 28, 2006

The Weak Ender

The Eagles believe they will have better chemistry as they jettisoned Terrell Owens, who will instead lead the Cowboys to the playoffs. And who can argue with Eagles management as the club filled the void with character guys like Jabar Gaffney—who was arrested for possession of a handgun?

Nice upgrade, Eagles.

Maybe Gaffney will hold a press conference from his cell, where he will do sit ups with his shirt off, entertaining his cellmate, Shank. But as long as Gaffney doesn't question the manhood of quarterback Donovan McNabb, it won't be a distraction. That's some organization they are running over there.

At least the Eagles have a cool cheerleader calendar. And you don't even need a Michael Irvin peephole to see it.

  • Speaking of the Eagles, has anybody noticed that one of the competitors on the Real World Fresh Meat challenge is competing (and winning) with a sports hernia? The same sports hernia that sidelined McNabb last year? At times, even Coral comes off as a big gamer than McNabb. And she probably wouldn't have gotten tired in the Super Bowl. Well, unless she was bit by a spider or something.

  • Yes, way too old to be still be watching MTV.

  • Shamed Tour de France winner Floyd Landis continues to maintain his innocence as he claimed that he naturally has a high level of testosterone. Of course he does, seeing that he has two testicles.

  • Hold the phone here. People once thought that Lance Bass wasn't gay? It had to be traumatizing for girls who grew up loving the guy. It would be like, for a generation of guys, finding out that Kelly Monaco was gay. Actually, that would be kind of cool.

Former Baywatch star Erika Eleniak is going to appear on the next version VH1's Celebrity Fit Club. Nice show, Baywatch. The Hoff is too drunk to get on a plane. Pamela Anderson is getting married four times in the next month. Yasmine Bleeth has fallen off the face of the Earth since her cocaine-related arrest. Carmen Electra is done bearding for Dave Navarro. Alexandra Paul still looks like a man. So actually Eleniak is the best of the bunch as she joins other celebrities such as Tina Yothers (wow), Nick Turturro (who probably gained a lot of weight in a month just to find some work) and Katharine McPhee on the show.

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Anonymous said...

Shamed Tour de France winner Floyd Landis continues to maintain his innocence as he claimed that he naturally has a high level of testosterone. Of course he does, seeing that he has two testicles.

Hope you enjoy hell.

Blonde said...

What doesn't make national news is what a fucking douchebag McNabb is in real life. Did you know that he has received several tickets for parking his luxury vehicles in handicap parking spaces when he is clearly not handicapped throughout Southern New Jersey (where he lives) and Philly? Yeah, class act there.

I hope that TO, The Tuna and the Cowboys go all the way this year. The Eagles constantly make bad decisions and they need sand kicked in their face as a reminder at times.

BTW, I know alot of the Eagles cheerleaders in real life (one in the calendar works for me) and trust me when I tell you that the calendar is MAJORLY airbrushed. Big Time. Philly girls don't look that good in person.

Michael said...

hmm.. Mr Gaffney.... did he go to the university of Miami?

Oh.. wait.. Jabar... wasn't he the one guy in that Disney cartoon - Aladin?

Dan Hayes said...

Please remember that Landis failed a ratio test of testosterone to epitestosterone (T/Es). It hasn't be announced if the ratio was high due to elevated testosterone or low epitestosterone, and the latter can be influenced by alcohol consumption.

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daddy said...

How do you know he has two testicles???

Adam B said...

McNabb got the tickets for parking in handicap spots, but it was actually some friend of his driving. The "ticket nanny," or whatever it is she calls herself, noted in court that when she called the cops about the car being parked there, that it wasn't McNabb driving.

also, gaffney went to UF. and the charge was because he had a license to carry in Texas, but not PA.