Thursday, July 20, 2006

Shea to Jays: Need More Hugs

Infielder Shea Hillenbrand was cut by the Toronto Blue Jays on Wednesday night after his feelings were hurt and he refused to sit in the dugout like a scolded junior high kid. Hillenbrand was upset because nobody in the Toronto's front office congratulated him on adopting a baby girl last weekend.


Maybe somebody should tell Hillenbrand that he's not working for IniTech or Krueger Industries. He's a Major League Baseball player. Or at least he was. And seriously, those who work in an office probably feel a lot like the Blue Jays organization.

It's annoying when you have a constant stream of birthday cards, going away cards, and other cards to sign because the office social secretary is a little overzealous. Nobody wants to be hounded to buy Girl Scout cookies, support the Little League hit-a-thon or participate in any other like activities. But you expect that kind of stuff when you are working in an office full of women. Not when you are a Major League Baseball player.

Maybe Shea should just retire and get a job as a secretary. He seems like that guy in the office who spends a little bit too much time hanging out with the girls. The kind of guy who will pass up beers with the boys during lunch on Friday to instead go dish with all of the girls. Not that there is anything wrong with being every girl’s best friend. But that’s the kind of dude you want playing in a Van Halen cover band, not third base for the Angels.

And speaking of that, the Angels had better not even think of trading for this goof. It seems like Jose Guillen all over again. The Angels don't need a guy who is more concerned with window treatments than winning a pennant.


Stoner Guy said...

Dude, 4:20!

twin_daddy said...

Wow! Bust the man's balls (or lack thereof) some more, Adam! Damn!! The guy is as sterile as Tom Cruise and opts to adopt a kid rather than fake like his wife was knocked up by him, even though it was some other dude's load. But, i'd say that a .301 avg. and a dozen knocks will get him employed somewhere else before the day is over, no matter what kind of cleats match his pants and stirups.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

what? shea can't knock up his wife properly?