Monday, July 10, 2006

The Post Mortem

It's a beautiful day! No, this isn’t one of those insipid, "Thank God the World Cup is over, now we can ignore soccer" jokes. Those have been played out and are extremely old.

In other words, expect The Bish to write that next week.

No the best part is that U2 has now run out of sporting events to whore themselves out to. It has gotten so bad, you expect to see Bono at the WNBA All-Star game or something. (Should we be giving him ideas?)

When did U2 become the world's conscious? It all seemed to go downhill when U2 was chosen to play tribute to the victims of 9/11 during halftime of Super Bowl XXXVI. Because really, nobody can sum up the feelings of America better than an Irish rock band. What a dumb decision that was. That would be akin to going to an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day and listening to a Sting-tribute band.

It’s really hard to take U2 seriously as conscientious rockers when they will pretty much whore their entire catalog for any new product. Hey kids, be sure to download World Cup games onto your U2-sponsored iPod. Even Dean Martin's kids have shown more restraint and that brood has no problem living off their old man's name.

The World Cup was a good time, but having U2 intertwined incessantly ruined any good feelings. Forget the flops and off-sides, Bono has pretty much ruined any hope of soccer taking hold in America.

  • Having the championship game of your sport decided by a penalty kick seems stupid. Just stupid. It's totally lame. Really, really dumb. In other words, inexcusable.

  • The Playoff Bowl between Germany and Portugal was on the television next to a WNBA game at the local bar on Saturday. You think soccer is bad, there was more scoring in that game than there was in the women’s hoops game. No lie.
  • The Angels ended the first half of the season by taking two of three from the Dodgers, sweeping the Mariners, and winning three of four in Oakland. That means two things: there will be no July trading-deadline deal. And the club will lose its upcoming series against Tampa Bay. It's like the pre-2002 years are happening all over again.
  • You have to say that golf has come a long way when two African Americans—Tiger Woods and Trevor Immelman—were battling it out for the Western Open title. Immelman won his first ever PGA event. But having Tiger near the top of the leader board should signal the end of the Lefty era as both golfers take their respective places.

Know what the best part of the baseball season is? For some of you, it would be that the season is half over. Seriously though, there is a real possibility that only the Yankees or Red Sox will make it to the playoffs this year. The wild card appears to be coming out of the AL Central. And if Toronto could somehow win the AL East to leave the Yankees and Red Sox out… well, that is something Bono could sing about.


Bono Fan said...

You suck!

Huge Bono Fan said...

If I ever meet you face to face, it'll be Sunday Bloody Sunday.

Scott Stapp said...

Bono is very sincere and honest. How dare you say anything about him!

Blonde said...

I am a child of Irish immigrants and my life has been immersed in the culture of the Motherland. U2 is one of my favorite bands HOWEVER they have sold out BIG TIME! I am talking about my own people, and tell it like it is, bitches.

BTW, no one is happier then me that World Cup is O-V-E-R. I'm ready for some REAL football!

Randy Youngman said...

It was me beating this tired joke into the ground, not The Bish.

My favorite match of every World Cup is the final. Comprenez-vous?

Nice try, though.

Seitz said...

I think Immelman is just plain 'ol African.

Anonymous said...

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