Friday, June 02, 2006

Oh My God

The Colorado Rockies, according to the USA Today, have turned into a team of God Squaders. The team has forsaken Playboy, Maxim and cursing—you know things associated with a clubhouse—in favor of prayer meetings. It is refreshing to hear. In an era where players have rap sheets longer than the local teamsters, it’s nice to hear about players who are trying to take a moral stand. Not to mock anybody's faith, but something doesn't seem right.

It seems a little disingenuous and figures to crap out like a Bill Bennett dice roll.

Denny Neagle is kicked off the team for solicitation. It’s not a tough decision when the guy in question has a 7.90 ERA. But what if that player was Todd Helton? (Or the hooker was at least attractive?) What if Albert Pujols wanted to sign a free-agent contract with the Rockies, but was found to be a practicing Buddhist? Or maybe agnostic? Would the Rockies still sign him?

Sorry, been burned too many times by family values politicians who have children out of wedlock, or caught with prostitutes, or start wars. Don’t want to be disappointed when some of these Rockies turn up on the Smoking Gun because—let’s face it—they are ball players.

Besides, if God really was the Rockies co-pilot, don’t you figure they could do better than two games above .500?


Anonymous said...

well, if they were playing really well, that would just be hubris.

TJ Rubley said...

Yes, this is all hubris. I'm sure that if the Rockies declared themselves a Muslim organization, and had pages of quotes from the Quran on their locker room walls, it'd barely make the papers. Heck, no one would care.

Hugh Grant said...

Does anyone know where I can find that hooker?

Lil Hater said...

Bill Bennett is indeed a hypcritical fat-ass gambler who has the gall to lecture others on morality, but don't give him any credit by thinking he lost money playing craps, a relatively cool game of chance. That a-hole lost all his money playing slots (yes, it's true) -- which makes him even lamer.