Friday, May 05, 2006

The Weak Ender

Back in the day, players with inadequacies would opt for an extra large cup. Now they wear elbow pads.

Just like Jason Kendall.

The A’s slugger uses his elbow pad as a way to get on base. And if you were hitting .225, you would likely try to do the same thing. But Kendall should at least be honest with himself. If you are going to use your elbow pad instead of your bat, you likely molests collies.

Kendall proved that on Tuesday. Angels pitcher John Lackey threw a breaking ball to the plate that Kendall leaned in on and tried to do something he hadn’t done much this season—make contact. Lackey then pointed out that men with small genitalia wear kitty cat pads and lean into pitches like that (we are guessing). This, of course, caused Kendall to snap. You get the feeling that Kendall is the kind of guy that struts around in wife-beater tank tops and spends most of his gym time posing in the mirror. It would explain why Kendall, generously listed at 6-feet tall, reacted like a short guy who has watched too many UFC matches.

Maybe baseball should take the batting helmets off these guys to see how tough they really are.

  • The Los Angeles football situation is getting nuttier with each passing day. California governor Arnold Schwartenwhatever is proposing that Los Angeles should have two teams. Nice idea, why not ask for Kelly Monaco and a hover car, too? Of course the Governator is oblivious to the fact that the three California teams currently playing in the NFL need new stadiums. Why would he want to alienate Bay Area and San Diego voters seeing that the Raiders and Chargers are candidates for relocation?
  • The Chargers also have been linked to San Antonio and Las Vegas. If you have been a reader of this site, you know that if a professional sports team ever moves to Las Vegas, they should pay any amount of money to secure the rights to the name, “Rat Pack.”
  • If Los Angeles ever gets an expansion franchise they should take back the football name that brought the most civic pride to the area. Bring back the Los Angeles Xtreme. (Sure you saw that coming, but so did everybody else.) It will be time to realign the NFL name wise if the league ever does come back to Los Angeles. Put the Rams name back in Los Angeles, Colts name back in Baltimore, and Cardinals name back to the Morgan Athletic Club.
  • The Ducks are in the second round. Yeah, we are just as surprised as you. If you want to read more about hockey, take it from the experts (and not this site) at Divealanche or The Universal Cynic.
  • The Lakers series would be over if they had Terry from Survivor taking that final shot.
  • Former Saints and St. Louis tackle Kyle Turley is trying out with the Dolphins as a tight end. They obviously aren’t too selective in Miami as the club also announced they would give Marcus Vick a tryout, too. And Damon Allen could not got a shot in the NFL.

Flash Warner is reporting that Casey Daigle and Jennie Finch’s son will be named Ace. The couple also announced their second son will be named Gary because they really just don’t want to give their kids a chance.

Some more news: Give the new Hater Nation Forums a whirl. Zach can't figure it out, but maybe you will have more luck. Subscribe to The Hater Nation feed. And seriously, anybody get the Morgan Athletic Club joke? Anybody?

1 comment:

Michael said...

Adam, you missed it buddy. If you were going to get a Survivor reference in there, you should have dropped Tim Rosenbach mention.

You're welcome. :)