Monday, May 15, 2006

Texas Still On Top

The Longhorns have a Texas-sized envy of USC, despite winning the Rose Bowl. Noting all of the troubles the Trojans have had off the field in recent years, Longhorn running back Ramonce Taylor showed that things are always bigger in Texas as he was arrested for possessing 5 pounds of marijuana and a handgun. (More like Ramounce, as in the 80 ounces of bud he was holding.) Texas now feels this is just the latest example of Texas being better than USC.

“You see a guy like Bush and Jarrett being investigated for what, getting some free rent,” asked Texas coach Mack Brown. “I challenged our team to take it one step past that and show those Trojans once and for all who is the better team. A pot charge would have been cool, but he went that extra mile with a gun unlike those soft California players. And that rape charge by their backup quarterback? That’s so Duke lacrosse.”

When asked if this would taint the Longhorns season, Brown not only said that it wouldn’t taint the title, it also would give legitimacy to his program.

“You look at the Oklahoma program in the 1980s and you can see that is where we are heading,” Brown said. “Hell, Nebraska didn’t start winning in the 1990s until they started getting criminals such as Lawrence Phillips. This is nothing more than a rite of passage.”

1 comment:

Matt Leinart said...

What's a guy gotta do to get serviced around here?